Sickness in the Eve...

Calling.  So more to be no longer.

Hurting myself with denied convention,

Circumstances,

Unprepared.  Soul searching in a blue blanket.

Forcing out, unwanted purge.

Feeling hope for those who do not want my feelings

Kicking out the sickness ~ endlessly writing

Written?  Who decides?

Seeking sanctuary with the User Of Whores.

Chilling recognition of boredom and lust,

Will it trust me to be sane?

Refrain.

On keys of black and white.

Like a memory of "used to be"s,

Cant set a time today~

but I deserve more

I deserve me

I deserve my anger

I deserve my angel

I withhold my heart and thrust out the knowledge that it will be broken.

I just want to be violent!

To stop holding the frustration

that seems to keep me in check.

These days ~ Those days

It never changes,

it just seems to get worse per pre.

I have a determined need to SCREAM -

and to be sick.

To rid my body of this violence.

To use it to dance.

I hate to admit to deny:

Too much thigh ~ two small breasts.

Who is he kidding?  Himself.

well that was obvious.

This wasn't meant for to be read by YOU

Just for me to write and write and write.

Murky waters, you can kiss yourself goodnight.

no meanings-

just emotion,

just hurt.

Just sorry for you...

for me -

for waste

agmay18/98
modified july 98