I double over, and wonder why.
It seems forsaken, I start to cry.
Emotion rots this tiny life,
Hormones ajar, taken into stride.
My hands are shaking,
My stomachs weak, I feel, Im breaking, this answer, I seek. Being or no?
If yes, then whose?
Take it or leave it, I've lots to lose.
I look towards the rising son,
Shall I stay, Or should I run?
            Too much to see,
            Too little to hide.
It was fun for a while, along for the ride.
And although I do love,
Im too old to be scared, but it gives me the chills -
To think I may care.
For now it is hidden, amongst purity
            Too much to hide,
            Too little to see.
But the day will come for them to know,
The pain is just beginning to show.
I wallow in my torment, ponder while I can,
Would it have been better if I had ran?

alli june 93
modified july 98