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The B-52's Fred Schneider is $325,000 lighter. Phish's loss was a bit heftier: a cool $5 million. How come? The musicians made the mistake of entrusting their money to Dana Giacchetto, a stockbroker now accused of defrauding them. Giacchetto has already admitted he misappropriated $3.9 million from the Vermont band and took $968,000 from Phish's management. He's suspected of stealing $20 million total from his clients.

Giacchetto faces three charges of securities fraud, fraud and lying to the Securities and Exchange Commission. The SEC also slapped Giacchetto with a civil suit, accusing him of siphoning his client's money to provide for his own personal expenses from accounts held by Phish, Matt Damon and Ben Stiller. Giacchetto lived so high on the hog he even had his own photo spread in April's Vanity Fair. Nice.

Giacchetto is suspected of endorsing checks from five investment accounts he managed for the Vermont jam band and then using the checks to pay off his expenses. The New York Post reported that Giacchetto's Cassandra Group is also accused of stealing $325,000 from Fred Schneider. We hope Fred's got a year's supply of baked beans in that love shack of his.

Despite our cheap jokes at Scheider's expense, the US Attorney's office could not confirm the singer's losses.

The Securities and Exchange Commission's attorney Carmen Lawrence explained that the 37-year-old financial whiz "sought to attract advisory clients from the arts and entertainment industry, many of whom lacked financial sophistication, despite their considerable wealth." His other clients included Alanis Morissette, REM's Michael Stipe and Leonardo DiCaprio.

Two weeks ago Giacchetto informed them that he was getting out of the investment banking business. But it all had begun to go wrong way back in December, when Giacchetto's money managing skills were dropped by more than a dozen clients, including the Smashing Pumpkins.

Giacchetto allegedly began siphoning the money of Phish and others to cover estimated losses of over a million dollars a year. The SEC says he also took money from other accounts to prevent his "unsophisticated" clients from noticing any of their dough was missing. Phish appeared to be the easiest to hide the losses from.

Much of the money ended up in a general account that the Post says investigators are still examining. Giacchetto allegedly made payments from the account unconnected to his business expenses. That included personal credit card bills worth $50,000. The Post reports that Giacchetto covered those with part of Fred Schneider's savings.

On Monday the SEC finally caught up with him. Giacchetto was in France at the time, but flew back to answer charges. According to the Los Angeles Times, he arrived back in New York and surrendered to the FBI on Tuesday with a stocking cap pulled over his head to hide his face. Vanity Fair was nowhere to be seen, but The Times reported that the alleged bilkmeister flipped the bird to photographers working the story.

At a hearing on Tuesday afternoon, Giacchetto's lawyers argued that their client should be released on bail in order to "schmooze." Chutzpah, unlike liquid assets, is something the accused does not have in short supply. His assets were frozen by a court order.

Giacchetto was later released on a $1 million personal bond secured after his parents put up their $500,000 Medford, MA home as security. "He has made lots of contacts over the years with people who still have confidence in him," his attorney explained to the court. He added that Giacchetto's new job would not require him to handle any money.

"Assuming Mr. Giacchetto can get on a Greyhound bus and stay in a Motel 6 with the last suit he owns on his back, to go schmooze with someone in California in the business, why should we all care?" U.S. Magistrate Andrew Peck said.

The US Attorney's office said that if Giacchetto is convicted of fraud, he could spend a maximum of 10 years in prison. At the very least he is expected to be saddled with a $1 million fine.

Anybody wanting to send a donation to help out these aggrieved rock millionaires should send them to C. Bottomley, VH1.com, 770 Broadway, 10th Floor, New York, NY 10001. Mr. Bottomley promises to use the money to buy Phish and Fred a grilled cheese sandwich the next time he sees them.

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