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Armstrong Tape

 
In July 1969 Neil Armstrong, Edwin (Buzz) Aldrin, and Michael Collins stood poised on the brink of achieving that long awaited goal of humans landing on the moon. Millions of people on earth were able to watch as Neil Armstrong took those first historic steps on July 20th,  proclaiming.."That's one small step for (a) man,  one giant leap for mankind." Those words did not come easy for Neil though, as the flight recorder shows in this previously unreleased transcript taped just hours prior to touchdown.

Aldrin: Can't you just be quiet and stay on your side of the cabin?  I'm trying to redo some calculations for landing.

Armstrong: I'm sorry. I'm the type that has to think out loud.....

Armstrong: "That's one smallish step" ...hmmm....

Armstrong: "That's one boot down on the surface...now the second boot...."

Armstrong: I don't know...  maybe just shout my feelings as they come like.. "Here I go! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee! " Then jump out the hatch down to the surface, spring up and maybe dance a bit.  What do you think?

Aldrin: (no response)

Armstrong: This is hard.

Aldrin: Just stick with the one you had...Don't change now.

Armstrong: I think I can do better. Maybe I want some of the recognition too. How's this, "Let it be known to the whole world that I am Neil the Conqueror of the Last Frontier....the Moon!"

Aldrin: I cannot think. Can't you give me two seconds to work these out??

Armstrong: BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Aldrin: If you do that one more time.....I'm fed up with that! This is the last warning!

Armstrong: (Oblivious to Aldrin's irritation with him ) Oh man. I'm nervous Buzz. I don't want to eat that food paste tonight. Stomach couldn't handle it. I don't want anything coming back up right when I say my spiel..

Aldrin: Fine.

Armstrong: I talked to Collins while you were sleeping a bit ago.

Aldrin: And?

Armstrong: He's a riot. He's snuck all kinds of real food up there. Twinkies, hard cooked eggs, sardines,  beer nuts...

Aldrin: Yes he told me.....up here on a serious mission with two.....

Mission Control: This is Mission Control. Come in please.

Aldrin: Yes Houston.. This is Aldrin. Over.

Mission Control: Aldrin! Good! Just a friendly reminder that you are coming on T minus 1 hour to beginning decent.

Aldrin: Quite aware of that Houston!  And looking forward to it.

Armstrong: Hey Houston, Armstrong here, I'm  ready to take that flying leap for the world! Woo!

Mission Control: Neil, remember, at this point you must be careful how you handle yourself in the space suit. We don't want any tearing. Its not indestructible.

Armstrong: This is space age fabric Houston...it'll be fine. May climb down a few craters while I'm at it. See if I can bounce out of them. Gravity is different on the surface of the moon you know.

Mission Control: (pause) We're counting on you Buzz.  You know what we "mean".

Aldrin: Roger Houston. Over.

Armstrong: BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Aldrin: Oh that's it!!!   (sounds of scuffling)

Armstrong: Give...give...ok....ok...wow you're tense. What do you say I get my suit on?

Aldrin: Fine

Armstrong: (Sings as he changes) Moooon River! Wider than a mile..I'm crossing you in style....someday...

Aldrin: *sigh*

Several hours pass. The Eagle has landed!

Armstrong: This is it Buzzyboy. Wish me luck!

Aldrin: (rolls his eyes)

Armstrong: (opens the hatch and begins decent) That's one small (microphone clicks off) boot I have on and one large one. How'd that happen? I must have grabbed one of Buzz's boots...

Aldrin: (clicking mic on) ...step for man, one giant leap for mankind.

Armstrong: Hey hangon! I'm on the Moon. Whee doggie lookee at me!
 

© 1998 - 2007 SWeber

Please note: Content of this story is fictional and meant only as a light-hearted look at what could have transpired had the entire episode enterred a completely different dimension...that being the one within my silly mind. -Suz :) 

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