Dear AMS,
I have recently come into possession of a large quantity of windfall guavas shipped directly from Africa and I am at a loss as to what to do with them. I have already tried the more obvious things like Guava Pie, Guava Juice, Guava and Sausage Bake ... and even using their dried skins as a cheap form of footwear. But now I have to admit I am stumped and have decided to turn to the only source of information larger and more omniscient than the ex-Oracle at Delphi. My question is - what can a guy like me do with 2.87 metric tons of very ripe Guava?

Ed again......who else

Dear Ed,
I could probably take a few guava off your hands but I don't think that would help much. With the shelf life of guava being short and you not really having the manufacturing tools already set up I won't suggest starting your own little guava juice and sundries manufacturing business. And I'm not sure the big juice/fruit companies or even the smaller ones would take them off your hands at this point. Import regulations, vendor licenses, etc... who knows what it entails. And by the time you do get it figured out you'll have 2.87 metric tons of rotten guavas. No, I think your only solution is roadside stands! Quickly assemble a series of roadside stands along the highways and byways and get to work at selling them. You and your hastily gathered crew of "employees" should don straw hats and cutoffs for that tropical look. Set up a few juicers on the counters and sell fresh squeezed guava juice, too! You may even get a few local kids to add Guavade to their Lemonade stands. Don't forget to take your percentage cut. The key here is to act fast and push those guavas. Because once the decaying starts you won't 'guava dang' what becomes of them.

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