I just wanna vent to someone about all the stuff i sometimes think about. Ok...for starters...do these so called "DUST BUNNIES" have floppy ears and pink noses like real bunnies? I keep my home so clean that I never really seem to get them so...they are "extinct" in our house. And one more very strange thing that just baffles me day after day. If I have had one too many drinks that night, but if hadn't drank that "one" that made too many, would I have had one to few drinks? Is there actually a perfect amount of drinks you are aloud to drink? Wow.....I wanna see this so called book of unwritten rules....like the rule that says you can't wear slippers to dinner....or the one that says you shouldn't chew with your mouth open....i mean what if your nose is plugged and you will smother if you don't breath through your mouth, but then if you don't eat you will die of starvation.....its a lose lose situation in this world....and i hope you aren't one of those pissy soccer moms who is gonna yell at me because i am under 16 and I've sent you this e-mail.....I was really hoping sumone shared my thoughts.....mail me back k? (not a pissy soccer mom e-mail which states the importance of parental controls and internet usage time limit) And i know you are a big shot writer now....but i would actually like to get some of my poetry published some day so there *sticks toungue out* THANX MUCH!!!! Yours Truly Nile Crocodile
Dear NC,
Great, we can't discuss my favorite topics, parental controls and internet usage time limits for under 16's. Now I don't know what to comment on. Perhaps I'll delve into a few of your intriguing questions. I myself have wondered about those dust bunnies. As the type of person who doesn't like to look under beds and other furniture (requires bending over which I hate doing and also I actually fear what I might find under stuff) I had no idea what they might look like. So I just reached under my bed, grabbed a handful of something and checked it out. No, they don't have floppy ears and pink noses. They do have matted hairs and crumbs. Not very cute. Don't recommend them as pets. Next you ask, is there actually a perfect amount of drinks you are allowed to drink? I think you've touched upon one of the universe's most baffling mysteries. I believe there actually is one exact amount, measured in milligrams I'm sure, that is the perfect amount. But this amount must be calculated on a per person basis and will fluctuate moment by moment as the body's fluid to mass ratio changes. It would take a genius to figure the exact ratio at any given second in time! (or probably some simple computer script). I don't have all day for that sort of thing so I just drink until I instinctively know any more and I'll vomit. (I'm talking about milk and fruit juice, of course...) And finally, I, too, wanted to see this book of unwritten rules so I did some internet searches on it. Seems all the major booksellers have it. The only thing is… no contents! It's all binding and jacket sleeves. I guess we'll just have to continue to blindly accept and believe all the unwritten rules as generations have in the past until someone can produce otherwise. By the way, I would highly recommend keeping the "don't spit into the wind" one in the book. - Suz