I have a rather serious problem with my current girlfriend. She seems determined to show me up and embarrass me in public at every opportunity. I care lots, but I cannot stand the scenes that she causes. I am sure it is just to upset me.
Every time we go to our favourite restaurant she always conveniently gets a puncture or her valve becomes faulty and she proceeds to either deflate at the table or sometimes fly around the room making flatulent sounds.
I will admit the relationship was only physical to begin with but I became emotionally attached too. Is there another problem is she just doing it to spite me? I can't stand the upsets. Should I get rid of her or just buy a better puncture repair kit?
Yours
Distressed, England
Dear Distressed,
You get what you pay for. I suspect that you thought
if you purchased the cheaper vinyl you'd be just as happy. But guess what?
Air leaks, faulty valves... In the end it was a bad investment.
You say you "care lots" in one instance, and then you are wondering if you "should get rid of her". Could it be you don't know how you feel about her? And could that be because she's incapable of reciprocating any feelings? Don't expect her to change. She won't. And a better puncture repair kit won't stop new leaks.
This could be a good time to stop practicing having a girlfriend and to make the effort to get a real one. You'll find they are far better company than the vinyl type anyway. Of course in many ways real women require special care, too. One minute things are wonderful and the next you don't know what's happened. Its as if they’ve split at the seams. (which oddly enough is a similarity) It keeps the relationship interesting if nothing else. But if you can't handle that, if you need a girlfriend who sits quietly and only exists when you want her to, then I suggest stepping up to a better, more durable model.