A List Of Me

I am Agent Skatter
I am 24 years old
I am female
I play bass in a punk band
I work for the government
I have been with Dirk for 5 years
I don't wear dresses for pleasure
I am still planning world domination
I smoke a lot late at night
I get silly when I'm drunk
I am fiercely loyal to my friends
I try not to show it, though
I didn't cry for two years when I was a teenager
I am half-Asian
I don't look it
I am writing a novel
I have been writing it for 11 years
I am still planning world domination
I wear my hair long
I don't mind using a bottle to improve the color
I have had an abortion
I am an atheist
I used to be Catholic
I have champagne tastes
I study herbs and their uses
I am not interested in well-meant advice
I wanted to be popular
I see things that aren't there
I am still planning world domination
I see things that haven't happened yet
I learned most of my grammar from Trashy Romance novels
I never had an imaginary friend
I work hard to be as nice as I am

Major ambitions in life

I plan to become ruler of the entire planet. I will outlaw music. Five minutes after I do this, I will go on planet-wide television, with the following announcement, "You're all probably really pissed that I outlawed music. I am now going to do something that will make outlawing music seem incredibly petty. Consider this a lesson in cosmic irony." Then, I will detonate all the nuclear warheads at once, eliminating the problem of human overpopulation. Failing that, however, I wouldn't mind being famous in some way, or just living a quiet little life in a nice mansion with the pet horse I was deprived of as a child. Whatever. I'm not choosy.