Collar Begging

Master..feelings are very important..they reflect innermost thoughts, ideas, and wishes..but you want to honestly know how a girl felt when she begged for a collar? At that time, which is much different then how she feels now.. but when she begged for your collar,,,she was shaking, trembling, and seriously in tears..and this is real life.o0(amazing how emotional something online can truly get a person)...tears were streaming down her face...she was trembling like anything..her heart was pounding deep inside..why..because she knew she was "condeming" herself to Gor once again..that is exactly what she was doing..throwing herself to you Master..knowing...that once she does this..she can never go back...that she will truly be yours..totally and completely....the biggest fear that ran through her..is that her feelings..which she had for you..were not only false..but just seeking someone to truly comfort her. In other words, she feared this was just an act of rebound...sure..at the time..she feared..you would just kick her away and flat out say NO..who knows..maybe somewhere in her mind she wished for you to say No..so it will reiterate in her mind..that she isindeed unwanted, worthless..and a loser..~smiles softly..shaking head~..o0(that right there.. a Master friend of hers said she would be smacked on the spot if she ever said that again)..what can she say Master...at the time...she truly did have feelings for you..as she still does now.o0(but even more so..smiles)..but in her mind..8 days..for christsakes..knows you 8 days..and she had strong feelings for you? That is unthinkable..and that is why she was in tears..for it was as if she wanted you to say YES all the way..and take her as your own..but in the back of her mind..also wanted you to kick her out of the way..and prove to her how worthless she really is

She knows..Master...*sighs*..low self esteem..and this is one of the reasons..she so desparately wanted to change the subject last night wanted to just ignore the feelings she had when she begged for your collar..wanted to deny them. It was christmas..she was happy the whole day..*smiles* was truly a night to remember..but you wanted to know her feelings for begging to you for your collar..Master..she cannot lie..that was how she felt..and in saying this..knows that it is indeed something which may upset you..hurt you..knows it hurts her just to say it and admit it..... Master she feels she is sinking here..telling youthis.....but..she wishes to look at the brightside..in comparision to now..*smiles softly*

Master..although these were the doubts the fears..the things which plagued her mind..when begging to you..there was still one fact which remains..and that is she did beg you..*smiles*..and would never regret doing so...for she is happy with the descision she made..for she truly is happy with you Master...o0(possibly too happy at times..giggles) Master..you leave her with joy and happiness in her heart..that is one of the reasons she is such a terror in the basment at times..for when being with you..fills her heart with joy, happiness, love, and really gets her hyped up..that she really has no idea what to do with the excess excitement and energy she has left...*giggles softly with a sigh*..Master..what can she say..she is a bubbly, hyper, funny, handfull at times..everyone knows it..now as you do. It is that bumbling spirit she has..which does indeed get her in grave trouble...does she look for trouble on purpose well not exactly..but she usually finds herself in it.. Maybe that is just it Master..here she can let out her inner most feelings, her innermost joys...and that is she is very talkative, funny, jumpy, hyper..a barral of laughs..but in real life..she is quiet as anything..usually as quiet as she is in the gor room..not knowing what to say..afraid to even open her mouth..afraid to be displeasing...why is she so quiet when we are in the gor rooms Master because Master..she fears everything she says..she fears she is unwelcomed..she just sits there watching the scroll for hours on end...and why does she do it..because it is the place..where she can be with you...~smiles softly~..to snugggle up against your leg..to be yours at your feet..to get the gentle little soft caresses in her hair..*smiles softly*..not saying just everything is all that...but her point is..she enjoys being with you..even if she doesnt enjoy..the place where she is...although she does like when we are in the haven..*smiles*..at least there she can find ways to get out her excess energy serving or something

Master..she loves being with you..is happy to serve you..loves having you as a Master..but she truly wonders..and doubts at times..if you feel the same way about her as she feels about you...you must..for you did say yes..and you do keep a girl..and even in her times of trouble, mischievnous and all the little odds and ends a girl does..You are still there for her as she is there for you. You are there on the phone, there online, and even when you are not there..she knows that anytime she can pick up the phone and call you Master. It is that relationship..which not only makes her feel good but she knows she can trust you Master and you do her.

Master it is amazing how things do indeed change..and it has been a little over a month that we are together..and since she has begged you for your collar. Does her opinions change of how she felt begging you then..and now?..Yes of course they do..and will keep changing based on new ideas, and new experiences. But to finish off what her point is..Master beggging to you was one of the toughest and greatest descisions she ever made..and is happy to truly be with you..*smiles*..for she realised..that she is not above begging. In her stubborn mind she thought that she is too "good" to beg for things she wanted..and the act of begging for something for the first time..it had a profound emotional effect on her..*smiles* but all in all..it was the greatest act that she did to begin our relationship..and it is a start of one in which she hopes to be a long, explorative,.o0(R/l???)..relationship. ~smiles innocently~

Back to Random Thoughts

Back to Home Page