This site has been so hopelessly buggy lately that it looks like I'll have to switch to a new webhost. It sucks, because I like everything about Web1000's set-up except for all the damn bugs. And the frames with the "GET ERECT!" ads. And the slow, slow load times. The prospect of packing up every little thing on this site & moving yet again fills me with horror, but I may not have a choice. Web1000 has been so crappy lately that half the emails I get are from people saying, "What happened to your site? I can't find it!"

I've been working on my Masterpiece, a big graphic-novel-comic-book dealie that I'm going to do with photos of little clay puppet people. Some of the puppet people have Aerobics Barbies for their armatures, and let me tell you, there is no feeling quite as creepy as going to a toy store to buy Barbies so you can take them home and snap off their heads and saw off their tits. It's a very Jefferey Dahmer kind of hobby, no?

The finished figures don't look anything like Barbie, I just picked her because the Aerobics Barbies are really strong & flexible, and cheap, and because there are billions & BILLIONS of miniature Barbie sets & props & outfits available. Sure, most of the props are made of pink plastic, but when you paint them up & detail them, they can look pretty good. Jesus, there is a Barbie playset for everything; there's even a Barbie toilet!

I've wanted to do these photo comix for a while, but it took me time to think up a story I really like. The stuff I've done before was very surreal & loosey-goosey, & this is the first thing I've ever done where I'm really trying to come up with a good, solid plot. It's hard! I'm reading all these books on plotting, and the more I learn, the harder it gets. Don't worry, I'll keep you abreast on my progress...

I admit, sometimes I feel like a freak playing with my little dollies (what can I say, I'm very in touch with my inner child,) but at least I know I'm not even half as nutty as most other miniature enthusiasts. Sometimes I check out these dollhouse magazines at Borders, & if you think tranny mags can get peculiar, you ain't seen NOTHING yet! Doll fans are mostly these sweet old weirdies who never quite got over their kids moving out. They get WAY too attached to their dolls, and some of them change their doll's outfit every day & stuff. One of the magazines printed this psycho letter from a disgruntled doll lover, it was like, "You are a pornographic magazine, printing foul pictures of dolls that are tarted up like streetwalkers! For shame!" This poor schlub had to be writing from a rubber room someplace. The editor's response was great, too; "While we may take issue with some of the points you raise, we appreciate an exchange of views, and welcome reader comments." I could only picture some gentle granny, writing with a quill pen, trying to answer this enraged letter from Travis Bickle.

The miniature magazines - the ones that tell you how to build little Babylon 5 spaceships & stuff - are a little more butch, or at least they try to be. Where the doll magazines are mostly read by psycho grandmas, the miniature magazines are mostly read by the big fat comic book guy from The Simpsons ("If you'll pardon me, my breakfast burrito is currently congealing.") Way too many of the articles are about building your own little Vampirella or Seven of Nine or whatever. There's something so tragic about all of those meticulous instructions for how to get the shading just right beneath Lara Croft's bosom. When we go to comix shops, we see all kinds of bizarre little model babes for sale, & sometimes it can get pretty traumatic. A few months back, we saw a busty, female version of The Joker that sent us screaming into the night. I don't even want to think about the life of a person who would buy such a thing!

I'm sorry, I really do try not to be judgemental about the stuff that turns other people on (if nobody's getting hurt, etc., etc.), but those little do-it-yourself bimbo kits are just so sad. K says they should promote those figures as "Your 10-inch Girlfriend!"

Hmm. Actually, "10-inch girlfriend" has an interesting ring to it. Wouldn't you buy one?