Some of you may have noticed that lately this diary has been taken up with a lot of stuff about TV shows. If you guessed that this is because my life has gotten kind of boring, you guessed correctly. K's been working a lot, I've been working, we've hardly gone out... It's been a fairly tedious couple of weeks. In a few weeks, I'm gonna have to drive clear across the state to visit my folks for Thanksgiving, so that'll be a wacky little adventure. And then there's Christmas, God help us all. And then, of course, there's the biggest New Year's Eve in a thousand years, followed by my big, bad birthday.

Actually, this boring little existence I've been leading is suddenly looking pretty good. Boring has its advantages. I think I'll go sit on the couch for a few hours, now. I won't turn on the TV, I won't read a book. I'll just... hum. I'll hum a boring little tune. No, I won't even hum. I'll just watch my fingernails grow. That is all the excitement I need. 
 

11/8/99, 5:20 p.m.
I keeping seeing this commercial for the new Rage Against the Machine album, and it's got me really depressed. I don't think I've ever mentioned this in print before, but I used to be the best friend of Zach De La Rocha, the lead singer from Rage Against the Machine. We were both about two years old at the time, but I have plenty of pictures of us running around being happy little babies together. We were Laurel and Hardy babies; he was the little squatty baby, and I was the tall gawky baby. Our moms were both divorced, so they'd leave me and Zach to play while they went off to bitch about their ratty ex-husbands. I have dim, fond memories of playing Hotwheels with Zachary. Vroom vroom!

Zach's family moved away when we were still kids, and I always wondered what happened to my little bud. Then, about a year ago, my mom filled me in. She'd seen some article about Zach's band, and she remembered his name. To be honest, I really don't care for Zach's music at all. Political, heavy metal/rap just ain't my thing. From what I've seen of Zachary, I get the feeling he'd get on my nerves, too.

Zach had a Latin dad and a honkie mom, just like I did, and his Latin dad split on his honkie mom, just like mine did, but while I ended up with all kinds of "issues" and anger towards my daddy, Zach apparently ended up worshipping his. My mom says she remembers Zach's dad as this surly, snotty guy who was always ranting about the persecution of La Raza, and it kinda sounds like junior's a chip off the old block. Zach's really into the whole Viva la Raza thing. Yawn. I've thought about looking him up, but I'd probably never be able to make it through all of his bodyguards and stuff. Besides, I wouldn't have much to say to him. It's not like we could play Hotwheels again or something.

I don't envy Zach for being a succesful musician (I've never had any serious rock star dreams,) but I confess, I do envy his fame and wealth. n some ways, I'm proud of all the stuff I've done, but then I run into Rage Against the goddam Machine again, and I feel like a total loser. Lately my career has really been bothering me. I don't particularly enjoy being a film critic, it's really hard for me to do, and the pay is absurd. It beats flipping burgers someplace, that's about the best I can say for it. Sigh. Maybe I should join the fucking marines or something.

At least I'm doing a lot better than most of the kids I went to high school with. I went to the LA County High School for the Arts (I was there for Vis. Arts) with all of these really talented, gorgeous actresses and dancers and musicians. A lot of them were already doing commercials and stuff back then, and I always assumed they'd all go on to be superstars, but the only one who's made any kind of name for herself is goddam Jenna Elfman, the horrid girl from that horrid Dharma & Greg show. I didn't even know she was there when I went to the school; she wasn't talented enough to stand out! Jenna is just so spazzy, she really gets on my nerves... and she's everywhere! Everywhere that Rage Against the Machine isn't, there's Jenna! Why is Jenna a star, when there were so many other girls at that school who were much, much more deserving? Seriously, there were girls there who were so beautiful that it made your eyes water to look at them, girls who could act and sing and dance like angels, girls who were to Jenna Elfman as graceful swans are to squawking little cowbirds. Yet somehow Jenna's name is a household word, while these other girls are still aspiring actresses, ten years out of High School. The world makes no sense to me at all.

God, I am in such a bitchy mood. I'm sorry, I still haven't quite recovered from an incident that happened earlier today; I was out running errands, and a goddam fucking lousy bastard seagull shit on me. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I ask you; what kind of a world is it where shit falls from the sky?