Suicide

I sit and read the words I write
each line speaks of my life
the pain I feel
the emptiness that is there
I can almost see
my lifes blood seeping thru
each word and line.

Each line is an unhappiness
expressed with great longing
the hurt is evident
and so is the emotion
so thick is the aura
it is almost alive and
tangible upon the paper.

Memories reach out and touch 
scraping raw across my mind
I want to scream
and make it stop
but yet again I read the word
the hurt the anguish
the bitterness.

I reach for something new
trying to forget this
but with every move
I remember and I cry
for the past
is still too alive
and real for me.

I watch from across the room
seperated from the reality
the tilt of a head
the sound of a laugh
I spiral down hard
and reach out to grasp
as I slip back into pain.

Perhaps to say goodbye now
would ease the ache I feel
the pain would go
and no one would mourn long
I was but a blink of an eye
and then gone
Who was she, do you remember?

The tombstone would read
my name and the dates
no special saying
no loving epitat from him
just a cold hard stone
and dirt upon wood
a live ended, without love.

Buried deep with me poems
I had written
each one dripping of the passion
I had felt for you
Unanswered and unreturned
empty words ring hollow
silence echoes across the tomb.

Goodbye my love
you shall remember me not
I take with me the memory
of only my what ifs
a silence comes upon me
and peace descends
one last breath..................................