He was there.
I think subconsciously I knew he would be.
He was there standing. Yet walking away.
The thought came, like the rising of the sun.
I can't think of him. I need to forget him.
But it seems impossible.
If he's not on my mind, he's in the back of it, waiting to be
thought of. But I'm not supposed to think of him.
I feel I'm losing myself. My identity. Unwillingly, I have made
him my life. So now I must become someone else. Put on a facade of
indifference. Pretend not to care.
But
he was there. And I was thinking of him.
People change. They grow up and mature.
Childhood is replaced by hate and cynicism.
Appearances change drastically.
Personalities differ slightly.
Sarcasm runs rampant;
Sadness always lurks in a dark corner behind a blue curtain.
Individuality seems lost or forgotten.
Why is there a need to be the same?
Close your mouth and let me be myself.
I need space to grow. I need change.
Rain, rain, come pouring down.
Down through my hair and over my neck.
Fall on my lips and whisper to my eyes.
That which helps life can too destroy it.
a misty edged silence
two people torn between right and wrong
staring, trying to see
seeing nothing
empty silence
filled with nervous glances and guilty clouds
no way to communicate
he's untouchable
you can't penetrate his aura
desperation and need
reassurance is calming
it's necessary
nerves are on edge
then a breath of life
fresh air
relief
it's over
all's well
love again
Heart racing, palms sweating, head pounding, I walked down the hall toward my destiny. Fate brought me here. It made me and it can destroy me. What shall be shall be. If it's supposed to happen, why am I nervous and unsure? For the first time in my life, what I want is unclear. My future, my fate, is fuzzy. Too much static. I feel like I'm looking through a fogged up window. My brain feels heavy and my thoughts weigh me down. What shall be shall be, but what about right now?
He's become more of
a symbol in my
life than the figure he should be.
He symbolizes everything
that I love that I
wish I had but
don't. Everything's just
out of reach. He's
safety and security that
can't provide comfort
and warmth
simultaneously.
He symbolizes the hard
and the soft of life. The
good and the bad. The
dark and the light. I feel
like I'm looking back at
him through a tunnel
when he should be the
one leading me. Helping me out.