My assignment is simple (at least in theory). Research the dominant species on the mudball (they call it Earth. How banal). Ascertain their intelligence, adaptability and creativity. My report will be used as the primary guide in determining their potential membership in the Fusion.
I have still got plenty of work to do, mind you, many many more subtle tests; however, I am pleased to report that the Dolphins and the Whales seem quite likely to pass.
Blending in with the monkey-creatures was quite simple. My species physically resemble these creatures, although it is quiet evident that somewhere along the lines, evolution decided to stop and play a cruel joke on these poor creatures. While physically developed, as one would expect from their primordial level of evolution, the mental capacity is rather diminished, well below the simians that were my species' ancestors. But, with some cosmetic changes, and strict control to not shudder in pity at these poor creatures, I have easily entered into their primitive society, and am able to direct my project without raising suspicions.
I should mention that, once the Aquatics are accepted into the Fusion, their very first request is likely to be for massive aid in wiping the oppressive monkey-creatures off the planet, and returning it to pristine condition.
So far, from what I have witnessed, the Aquatics have a very strong case. It is not merely the over population and pollution of the planet that raises some concerns, but these monkey-creatures are like infants with a transmodulator. While on some level, it is rather inconceivable that the infant will know how to operate a transmodulator, the chance is still there, and the havoc that the monkey-creatures are causing on their planet - without any means of leaving the planet safely, mind you, it quite disturbing.
So then the question arises - what to do with the monkey-creatures? Naturally, a few will be kept for the zoo - to keep the xenoanthrobiologists happy, but what to do with the rest? They are notoriously lazy and underimaginative - but as a group they are also indolent, slothful…to be perfectly honest, I don' think that they can ever be trained to be cheap labor. Not to mention that they are so "fragile" and so underdeveloped that they can not even be used in medical experiments!
My partner Kendall has had vague hopes that humanity might be marketable as a sort of convenience food. The Snack that follows you around, so to speak - but I was never able to really get a handle on the flavor of the beats. The Alpha Cents are working on it - reducing them to a sort of bland cookie which they think might be good with ice cream dishes - but I tend to doubt that much will come of it.
And so I end this report. I am off to observe some juvenile monkey-creatures protest their elder's treatment of the Aquatics. The Aquatics find this vastly humorous and have asked me to record this for them to watch in the future after the monkey-creatures are gone.