it's a nightmare on some street
running SCREAMING through the puddles of dark
clutching my cunt in one hand and holding it out where you can't get it
running running, why can't I see where you went?
LIGHTS! are they behind me or in front of me?
I'm so turned around I don't know if I'm still running away
or blindly running back to where you wait, sticky spider
with an elephant's trunk, coming to get me.
I hear a motorbike, you're going to try to stop me running
so I've got to keep going.
I can only run forwards or backwards and I can't
see what's anywhere else, just the glare of the lights
that move so much faster than I do. why are
you chasing me? why must it be me?
this is so vivid in my head it's like a hallucination but
real so I'm still running, screaming DON'T YOU TOUCH ME
wet and blind, you're dripping where I
don't want to look, grinning at my discomfort like you
always did did you never hear me cry STOP!? did you
never know my pain in your arrogance and lust for conquest?
I can't even think, all I know is fear and feeling
and I'm feeling your hands, sticky slimy sweaty,
wanting to hold, to still, to dominate and shatter what
little is left. I am a mess of blood, no skin to
hold me in, left puddled on your floor where it
came off in the rush, when you held me and I tore
away I must have left it behind but I'm running
anyway. your voice is in my ears drumming words
I don't want to hear, coarse and vulgar with promises
of black delights, salt and blood in my mouth (or is it
yours) as your tongue thrusts into my eyes I CAN'T
SEE! and you don't want me to. Blinded, I thud into something
on this street of black, and it's you, warm and safe,
strong arms as always, holding me lightly but surely until
the shuddering stops and my wild eyes can focus, and I
half-collapse with the sudden drain of energy, adrenalin gone,
against your reassuring heartbeat. Your eyes hold mine and
I smile weakly, all thought fled. I put on the helmet you give
me and hop up behind you on the bike, wrapping my arms around you
as if you were going to disappear if I wasn't careful. You take
me back to your house where it's safe. But little do you know -
I wasn't hallucinating, as you believe.
The nightmare is real, your faith isn't.
I know your house is my prison.
And somewhere buried deep inside, behind my shattered will,
I'm still screaming.