Poison

Copyright Disclaimers: The character of Max is part of the Dark Angel television series created by James Cameron and Charles Eglee. I own no part of the show and seek no profit from this short character monologue. No copyright infringement is intended.

Inspiration disclaimer: The characterization of Max by Jessica Alba and the entire show are the inspiration for this quick trip into Max's thoughts.

Timeline disclaimer: This takes part sometime in the early second season, at the earliest after Radar Love. This was written before Radar Love, but fits in nicely with some of the things Max said during the episode.

Content disclaimer: This is one of Max's monologues. Spoilers for early Season 2 and prior episodes.

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Poison

Written 10/25/2001 By Complx

"Poison."

That’s what Renfro said.

I’m poison.

I know she said it to play mind games... to turn me.

Deallio is… knowing isn’t always the same as believing.

My head tells me that I’m not poison. But there’s a kernel of fear eating at me telling me otherwise.

The fear was there before Renfro. She just pushed the right buttons.

I try not to let it get to me, but when I’m constantly reminded how different I am from everyone... the fear seeps in.

Zack sacrificed himself for me. I couldn’t help Tinga or Ben.

Now, I can’t even touch Logan.

How ironic. If I wasn’t poison before, I sure must qualify now.

I know I’ll never be normal... not even sure I’d wanna be. But it would be nice to at least fit into normal at least once in a while and not be such a freak show.

I thought I might have found that with Logan... a little piece of understanding and safety. Someplace where I fit... with someone that fits. I’m not so sure now... turns out I’m the danger.

Maybe this is fate, or life, or whatever’s way of telling me that I’m better off alone.

I know it’s not true and I have to hope it’s not true. The real poison is my fear and what it does to me. Everyone has problems… mine are just a little more extreme.

But can I believe it?

Guess I’m just gonna have to. No matter how it plays out with Logan, I’m not going to give in. I’m not going to let them win… ever.

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