I walk alone on this wasteland. My clothes are wet
(it just stopped raining), and some water drops roll down from my hair,
and run on my face to mingle with the tears which come out plentiful from
my eyes. The sun set long ago, but a unusual brightness seems to emanate
from my body and light the fog that keeps me from looking at the distance.
The ground on which I put my naked feet is softish: it seems like mud,
but the smell reveals me I'm walking on a path of shit.
Suddenly I hear someone calling whispering my name
in front of me. I shut the eyelids trying to see thru fog and tears the
one who's calling me, in vain. I hear the voice again. It's louder now,
and I understand it belongs to a woman. This time it comes from my right.
I turn my head that way, but I can't see anything. It calls me again: from
the left. Then from my back. Over and over, each time more rapidly, from
all the directions, I hear my name repeated, and I look around, lost. "Who
are you?" I ask, but that voice keeps on calling me, near but far, louder
and louder, melting the syllables of my name. I cover my ears with the
hands, but the voice is shouting and I can hear it even this way. I scream.
I close my eyes and fall on my knees in the shit, with my name echoing
in my brain. I stay in this posture for several minutes, that seem never
to pass.
Lastly, I open my eyes. The day broke. The fog disappeared,
and I am lying on a green field with flowers all around. I stopped crying,
and my clothes are dry. There is a house in front of me. A brown rabbit
is looking at me from the doorway. From its back, there comes... a girl,
dressed in white. She stares at me with her big dark eyes. The dark hair,
of middle length, skim gently the pale skin of her face. Her lips shape
a lovely smile. I know her. I loved her, a long time ago. She takes the
rabbit in her arms and comes towards me. Slowly I get up. Now she's near
me. She still smiles, but a tear falls down on her cheek. The ground shakes.
The rabbit in her arms becomes a big rat, jumps on the ground and runs
away. She holds her hands out to me and cries, while the skin of her face
comes off. I look at the scene, powerless, unable to move a single finger.
The house crumbles. Her body putrifies, showing soon the bare bones, and
turns to a revolting yellow mud. The sun stops shining, up in the sky.
Her bones come to dust. Only her white dress remains, and the wind takes
it away. I fall to the ground, on all fours. The fog comes down. I feel
under my hands that grass left place to shit. I cry.
I cry because I understood that I love her. That
I never stopped loving her. And I lost her. For the second and last time.
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