PARTNERS OF AGORAPHOBICS



  It isn't easy for partners of agoraphobics to deal with 
     the problems the disorder presents.  Most of them try to
     understand and do their best but as time goes by and things 
     don't seem to be getting better, some of the most dedicated
     can become resentful of the demands made on their time and
     energy.


     Agoraphobia can be very difficult to explain by either word
     or action.  Why a sufferer can go to a certain place one week 
     without fear and then tremble at the thought of going to the 
     same place the following week is beyond the partner's 
     comprehension.  They don't understand why they are cheerily 
     waved goodbye one day and clung to the next.


     Some partners are much more supportive than others.  They try
     to be there when needed, encouraging and praising when a 
     fearful situation has been faced.  They accompany her/him to
     the doctor's office...shopping, etc...anything to help ease
     the fear.  They allow the phobic to go at their own pace - 
     rarely pressuring them.


     Then there are the partners who are supportive at the beginning,
     doing the best they can...wishing they could do more.  But as
     time goes by, their patience wears thin...their own nerves 
     become frazzled and tempers flare.  "You could be better if 
     you tried harder"..."I can't take much more of this"... are just
     two of the phrases thrown at the sufferer.


     The partner who can't deal with any problem they don't under-
     stand will try to avoid the situation as much as possible.
     They won't try to help at all.  Some of them seek comfort 
     elsewhere and some will get out of the relationship, letting
     the sufferer fend the best way he/she can.  They are unable 
     to accept the responsibility of someone being dependent on them.



     The rare partner is the one who may be quite content with the
     sufferer's plight.  They actually enjoy the feeling of 
     superiority they attain with the knowledge that someone is 
     totally dependent on them.



           

     In my opinion, recovery largely depends on the amount of support
     one receives.  It seems like nothing is impossible if you have
     someone by your side who cares.  So give a hug to that partner
     of yours.  Let him/her know how very much you appreciate them.
     They are very special human beings!

 
                                         by Eileen Power
                                         ©copyright1990                           


 
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