An odd girl I may seem, in actual fact I am like any other, I have different days, one day I am very flowery, another I could be full of giggles, then there is the somber, or even angry moods that come between, the devil that very few have ever seen!

Devil Red

Many things I have always known A constant yearning for happiness A knowledge that it can never be Understanding reasoning for existence Devil Red eyes stare out at me Behind every corner and in every crevice I am true evil I will overpower all one day Mankind needs of me I shall save their souls Save them from a worse fate Worse than any can imagine I am here for a reason A reason as yet unknown to me Beyond all my expectations And far beyond my dreams

And as I muse through all of this fucking crap in my mind, I gently pause on these given words, worthy in themselves of worship, Smashing Pumpkins.

The world is a vampire, sent to drain secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames and what do I get for my pain betrayed desires and a piece of the game even though I know-I suppose I'll show all my cool and cold like old job, despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage, then someone will say what is lost can never be saved.

I am certain of one thing, that some day we shall all die, but what will that mean to each and every one of us?
Some will cease to exist, as they realize that they had reached the day that their life came to a close, and had never as yet truely lived.
I believe with all of my soul that it shall never be so with myself, and I believe the same of my friends, I have seen life, death, all of the rest. I am certain that on the day that my mortal life closes, before me will open a door, a door to the sky, and I shall become a star, shining above all for an eternity, filling my own destiny, watching in silence. That day I shall be free, my only desire fulfilled. Free from the bodily burdens that haunt us so, free, and for the first time in my existence, to be totally happy at last.

I am the astro-creep a demolition style hell american freak I am the crawling dead a phantom in a box shadow in your head say acid suicide freedom of the blast read the fucker lies scratch off the broken skin tear into my heart make me do it again yeah
White Zombie....More Human than Human

White man, he comes and ruins the land, Black man, he comes and squabbles, Yellow man, he comes with a clenched hand Green man, he come to blow bubbles, bubbles, bubbles.. ...
Back To The Planet....Starved by Ignorance

And then my mind wanders through fields unknown, a realisation dawns upon myself that all is irrelivant, and the only thing that matters had to be your own mind, outside of which nothing exists, who the fuck had I been talking to, I had suddenly convinced myself that I was all alone, and there I stood, in the blackness of an empty mind.

Time is never time at all you can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth and our lives are forever changed we will never be the same, the more you change the less you feel believe, believe in me, believe that life can change, that you're not stuck in vain, we are not the same, we're different tonight, tonight so bright tonight, and you know you're never sure but you're sure you could be right if you held yourself up to the light and the embers never fade in your city by the lake, the place where you were born, believe, believe in me, believe in the resolute urgency of now, and if you believe there's not a chance tonight, tonight so bright, tonight, we'll crucify the insincere tonight, we'll make things right, we'll feel it all tonight we'll find a way to offer up the night, tonight the indescribable moments of your life tonight, the impossible is possible tonight, believe in me as I believe in you, tonight!

And there I shall leave you for now, musing over what crap actually is in my mind:)