I've decided to stop acting that I'm not
Completely in love with you.
So I must replace this quaint, comfortable
Half-grinning mask.
Put it securely beside my confident, cocky
Lawyer's look,
A few masks down from my diligent, dutiful
Scholar's gaze.
Maybe hang up the smoke-stained, smirking
Musician's mouth.
All of the hall of faces is empty expressions.
My ways and means.
A lifetime of being neither
True or false,
Chearful deception or required adherance.
I looked to you as I thought I must,
Thinking always that you must also be
Acting.
And I wonder how it is that
Two thesbians could ever fall in love.
How one could ever convince the other
That his speach was not rehearsed,
His feelings not feigned,
These lines not lies,
Or our faces not just fateful masks
So worn with practice that even the player
Cannot portray himself.
But I still see you beyond this act.
I hold a picture like a still of your
Legs crossed in the front seat of my
Stolen car as you played a plastic guitar
Singing 'All I Want Is You'
When all I wanted was for it to be true.
8/99
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