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Index:
Page 1:
  1. The Dead Baptists Joke
  2. God's Lawsuit
  3. God's Vacation
  4. The Cheerleader Joke
  5. The Fundy and the Atheist
Page 2:
  1. "Oh Shit, I Missed"
  2. The Confessional
  3. The Puppies
  4. "Jesus Saves..."
  5. "Jesus Saves..." II


Page 3:
  1. Beer vs. Religion
  2. The New 10 Commandments






A minister and an atheist buddy of his were out playing golf one Saturday afternoon. The atheist wasn't playing very well. At the third hole he missed an easy putt and the minister was ahead.
"Oh shit, I missed," the atheist said angrily.
"Don't talk like that," said the minister
They played on for awhile, and the at the sixth hole the atheist missed another really easy shot.
"Goddamn it to hell," he said loudly.
"Please don't talk that way," said the minister. "God will punish you if you use profanity."
The atheist gave him a dirty look, and they kept playing. By the ninth hole, the atheist had recovered and they were neck-and-neck. The atheist's last shot was lined up perfectly, and it looked like he was the winner. But when he putted, the ball rolled off to the right and down a slight slope.
"Motherfucker!" yelled the atheist. Suddenly, a bolt of lightening sizzled out of the sky, frying the minister in his tracks. From the clouds, a deep voice said, "Oh shit, I missed."

Index


The priest was sitting in the confessional was he realized that he really, really, had to pee. A young woman was walking up to the booth to make her confession. What could he do?
He leaned out the confessional door and saw the janitor passing by. "Hey you," the priest said urgently, "come in here and cover for me while I take a leak, ok?"
"But I don't know how," said the janitor.
"Oh, it's easy," said the priest. "You just listen. The penances are all in this book here." And he pulls the janitor into the booth and runs off towards the mens room.
Just then the young woman comes in and starts her confession. "Oh father, I have sinned. Last night I performed oral sex on my boyfriend."
The janitor opened the book of penances. It was huge, thicker than the phone book. He had no idea how to find oral sex in there. So he leaned out of the booth and saw a altar boy walking by.
"Hey you," the janitor said in desperation, "do you know what Father gives for oral sex?"
"Ten bucks and a candy bar."

Index


A Baptist minister was visiting the home of one of the local families when the son comes running in, all excited because his dog had just had her puppies.
"Don't interupt, Johnny," said the boy's mother.
"Oh, don't scold him, ma'am," said the minister. "Puppies are very exciting. Let's go have a look at those puppies."
So the boy led them to a cardboard box in the basement full of barely newborn puppies.
"And what kind of puppies are these, my boy?" asked the minister.
"They're Baptist puppies, sir."
The minister patted him on the head and left.
Several weeks later, the minister was walking down the street when he saw the little boy playing with one of the puppies in the yard.
"How are your Baptist puppies doing?" he asked jovially.
"They're atheist puppies," replied the boy.
"Atheist puppies! Why?"
"Well you see, sir, their eyes are open now."

Index


"Jesus Saves..."
Mohammed protects,
And Cthulu thinks you'd be tasty with ketchup.

Index


"Jesus Saves..."
But Gretsky gets the rebound!
HE SHOOTS!
HE SCORES!

Index

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