The Hermanist Liturgy... or How To Get Down With The Bunny

So you've decided to turn your life over to Herman. Or maybe you've strayed from the true path a little, stroked the rabbit-fur-trimmed gloves of the wicked world, and you feel the need to repent. For your benefit, here's the Hermanist Liturgy - a collection of prayers and simple rituals that you can perform with common household items (candles, prisms, and checks made out to Carrie Laben, for example.)

Prayer 1: Repeat this bad boy whenever you feel in need of spiritual guidance. It's most effective when mumbled half-aloud in public while staring intently at a complete stranger and occasionally twitching your head to one side.
Oh Herman, may thy fuzziness never diminish, give me this day the complacency of spirit and openness of mind that I need to survive in a world of anal-retentive a$$&*%@s.

Prayer 2: The Hail Carrie. Show your reverence of the one who brought the light of Hermanism to the world.
Hail Carrie, full of shit, blessed art thou amongst college students
Intercede for me, Prophet of Herman, and pray for my poor soul
And just to make it worth your while, here's a large sum of unmarked U.S. currency.
Repeat five or six times. After each repitition, place a large denomination bill into an envelope. Send the envelope to Carrie to let her know your plea or request.

Prayer 3: The Lord Herman's Prayer
Our bunny, who art inanimate, Herman be thy name,
Thy warren came, our will is done, on earth as it is in [someplace really cool that I'll add to the mythology... er, have a revelation of at some future time.]
Give us this day our daily Trix
And lead us not into temptation (which you won't do anyway. How could you lead us anywhere? You never move unaided!)
But show us our strength, that we may deliver ourselves from evil
For thine is the warren, to our power and glory
Herman.

Prayer 4: The Prayer of Repentance
Oh Herman, I have boned up. I won't do it again.
Or, for quickie remission of minor sins:
Sorry, Herman, my bad.

Prayer 5: The Prayer of Tuesdays and Thursdays. Actually more of a ritual.
Pour a quantity of Trix or another of those instant-tooth-decay cereals into a large, clean bowl
Recite the Prayer: Oh Herman, on this blessed Tuesday (or Thursday) accept from thine humble child this offering. Bon Appetite.
Solemnly pour a large quantity of milk over the Trix. Then take a spoon and eat them. Be sure and clean your plate - doncha know that there are little kids starving in Africa?