The Ethnic Car

(warning: ethnic stereotypes ahead. Those easily offended should go elsewhere.)

 Now listen here people if you want to buy a car,
it’s all about image and who you think you are.
Cars used to be named ‘cougar or lynx”
but we’re running out of animals, they’ve all gone extinct.

In the days of the space program, the name for a car
was a galaxy or a mercury, a planet or a star
But the advertising gurus say that won’t work today,
It's about demographics, niche marketing’s the way. 

Now a German car is efficient and well engineered
A Japanese car is compact and easily steered.
A Jeep Cherokee is for wilderness
and rugged mountaineers.

So what about the Leprecaun from Ireland dear?
It's spritely and it's lively and it runs on Guinness beer.
The Russian Cossack, big as a charging horse
it’s great in freezing weather, runs on Vodka of course.

Got someone you don’t like and you want them gone?
take 'em for a ride in the Sicilian Don
The Afro Thug is full of street attitude
It’ll run you right over if you come to the 'hood.
The river-crossing Wetback is just as good.
And it runs on tequila when it’s in the mood.

The Bagel is boring and not very sweet
But it’s great for the money and controls the street.
Drive the Sheik through the desert, it runs on pure crude
But when it gets near the Bagel, it tends to explode.

So no matter your religion or color or your race,
There’s a car that fits you perfectly, waiting someplace.
Just as long as your credit is sparkling clean
And your wallet is fat and your money is green.

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