Oh how I loved thee,
Let me count the ways.
Through tenderly cooked meat,
Even on rainy days.

How I looked to you,
My trusty little grill,
Always near by the door,
Just awaiting a fill.

But alas! A perpetrator has stolen thee!
Hast taken thee from thy home!
Where are you now, my little green pal?
No doubt unused, and ever lonesome.

Kleptomaniac, get thee hence!
Darken my doorstep no more!
Your treason is vile!
Just go to the store!

Gas grills are inexpensive,
Relatively speaking.
So count up your pennies,
My grill- no more taking!

Perhaps if you wish,
My grill you could borrow.
Saving me from tears,
And insufferable sorrow.

Where art thou now,
My rounded green buddy.
My food needs its grilling,
Not a pan that looks muddy.

So maybe, once in a while,
I neglected to tend thee.
My food became blackened,
And more than just crispy.

It wasn't your fault,
I give you no blame.
You cooked my meat happily,
With gas jets all aflame.

My meat was so tender,
Its taste was just grand.
Why someone took you,
I don't understand.

But I will do what it takes,
For return to your true owner.
I'll even go skating, disco style,
To the tune of some moaner.

So there is my reply,
You lascivious thief,
Bring me my grill.
And end my poor grief.