herever I go, I’m
surrounded by babies.
There’re babies at the mall, at the grocery store, at church, riding
down the sidewalks in strollers. There is a TV show on TLC (The Learning
Channel) called "The Baby Story" that now seems to be on 24 hours a day.
We watched "All In The Family" last night, and I’ll be darned if it wasn’t
about Archie babysitting for his grandson. (He was a cute little kid, too
-- not Archie, of course; I mean his grandson!)
I think I'm subconsciously getting ready. In about three weeks -- or
less -- my life is going to change completely, in ways that I can't even
fathom right now. I mean, all I'm prepared for is a babbling baby coming
to visit us -- I don't think it's fully hit me yet that he is going to
be ours to keep. And, even crazier, in a few years he'll be ready for preschool
already.
All right, I'll admit it -- I'm afraid. I'm afraid something is going
to be horribly wrong, and that he'll end up being blind -- or deaf (which
would be the poetic irony, since I love music so much -- ever see "Mr.
Holland's Opus"?) I'm afraid that I'm not going to know how to hold the
baby correctly and I'm going to drop him headfirst on the floor. And I'm
petrified
of SIDS. I think that every day our son lives, I'll breathe a prayer of
thanks.
I don't know what I'm so afraid of. I mean, I made it this far, right?
And so did my wife, and my sister, and my wife's brothers (although one
of them had a frightening bout with meningitis when he was a baby -- SEE
WHAT I MEAN HERE?!!)
I suppose that, like just about everything else in life, it's out of
my control. So I can't get a better job right now, or a better place to
live. We'll make it through. And I guess whatever happens to our newest
family member, we'll make it through. In fact, it'll all probably be even
sweeter than I ever imagined.
If I can just stop worrying for a second and enjoy it, that is.