"Hi Charlie."
Mina stood in the doorway, looking Charlie up and down as if she'd never met him before. She stayed there a moment longer than necessary, smiling and letting him blush uncomfortably before stepping aside and letting him in.
"How are you getting on, Mina?"
"Oh, fine." She couldn't say more. She knew that if she did, she'd have a breakdown or something, and she was anxious not to appear desperate.
There was an awkward silence. "Place looks the same," Charlie began, chuckling lamely.
"Yeah, it does. I...I haven't really had the energy to put any of his things away." Mina sat down at the sofa and moved some magazines around.
"And the, uh...?"
"Yeah," Mina cut in, laughing freely for the first time. "I haven't changed that either. But not for lack of energy. I still want to use it."
"Er, really?" Charlie scratched his head.
Mina laughed again. "Really. Hell, Charlie, have a seat, you don't look too comfortable. Care for something to drink?"
Charlie fingered his rum and coke. "You're still going to use all that stuff back there?" He still couldn't figure out a good way to refer to her dungeon, her chamber, the place where he himself had been bound on the bed and fucked.
Fucked by her man. Her husband. Her lost lover. Her slave. All those words--and the alcohol--it all mixed in his head and made it muddy. Maybe he had better leave...
"Don't you think so?" Mina was asking.
Charlie was startled out of his reverie. "Well, I--but...you were saying?"
"I mean," Mina continued, but looking at him as if she had caught him napping, "I'm never going to have anything like that again. But you know, it's still an urge. I can't control it. And I don't really want to...it's like, he didn't take any of it away with him. Well, some. I don't know if I'm explaining this very well." She looked away at the wall clock.
"No, I understand. I understand."
She looked back at him, and once again he saw those eyes of hers, piercing him. "I wonder if you do."
He recognized that tone. He didn't expect to hear it so soon.
"I do."
They were walking together slowly down the hallway, Charlie in front, Mina following so closely behind he could feel her breath on his upper back as she talked.
"I know what you're thinking," she started.
"You do?"
"Yes. You're thinking that it's only been six months. And you don't know if you really want to go through with it because you liked David. And you're wondering if I'm just letting my urges get the better of me, and if I won't regret it later, and if you hadn't better just save me from all that."
Charlie didn't say anything. She was right on.
"You don't know what six months is like for me, Charlie. I didn't just think about it a couple of days ago, you know. It's been on my mind all the time. Taking someone down and putting them through hell. My hell. Just tell yourself you didn't have a choice." She put a finger in his back. "Don't try anything, and no one will get hurt. Well," she added, chuckling menacingly, "that's not quite true. And David?"
"Yes?" he asked, turning around as they got to her chamber door.
She paused, looking up at him. "Nothing," she said, and opened the door.
Mina tried nothing she hadn't before, but after half a year away from the game (though only a few weeks of serious longing), it didn't matter if all she did was twist his wrists behind his back. Charlie was thin and wiry, and she liked the feeling of his arms resisting as she pushed them around. No, she didn't like it, that wasn't quite right. But it felt good, and real, not like being handed something.
She tied him to the bed, and knelt on his chest. She looked down at him, her shoulder-length hair falling darkly around his face. "What am I going to do to you?"
How many times had he asked her that very question. What was she going to do to him. Where was she going to do it, and when. Would she let him watch. But this time, she was the one asking.
She was asking again. "What am I going to do to you, Charlie?"
What the hell is she asking for? Charlie wondered wildly. Testing me? Permission? He decided to ask for something ridiculous, and hope she would give him some clue.
"You're going to fuck me, Mina."
She laughed softly. "The hell I am." Then she pulled his head between her breasts and held them there tightly. She reached down with her free hand and began fingering herself.
It felt good, being inside her practically, and the feel of her fingers moving around on his chest was turning him on. Problem was, she was holding him there so tight he couldn't breathe. He tried turning his head, but Mina dug her fingers into his hair and pulled even tighter. Shake as he might, he couldn't catch a breath. His mouth and nose were glued to her skin.
He tried using his wrists for leverage to pull himself free, but she just fell on top of him and pinned his head to the bed. Charlie twisted desperately beneath her, but to no avail; the weight of her body on his head was too great. His pleas came out muffled, uncertain, asking.
He could hear her, almost far away: "Oh yeah, that feels good, do it again when you try to ask me. That's so good." Her fingers were moving faster and faster, and just as his lungs were beginning to burn, she squeezed his head, clutching it to her, and she came, her legs clamping wonderfully on his sides.
Only then did Mina let up slightly, and ever so slightly, only letting him gasp here and there, drawing out his recovery. All the while she whispered to him, "Amazing. Beautiful. I'm not sorry, are you sorry?" She knew she was babbling, but the whole thing just made her a little crazy. He told her back that he wasn't sorry, not at all, but that he was a bit out of breath, and did she have anything to drink.
"Mina?"
She opened her eyes. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, and he had his drink. She sat up.
"I must have...how long have I been sleeping?"
"About a half hour. I would have let you sleep longer but it's late and I've got to go."
"Oh, OK, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to keep you." She chuckled inwardly. Keep you. No, not yet, anyway.
"You know, you called me David back there."
"Back where?"
"Just before we came in."
"Oh," Mina said, yawning. "I'm terribly sorry."
"I'm not," Charlie said, strangely.
Mina looked up at him with that piercing gaze again, and then lay back down on her side, turning her back to him slightly. "Not now, Charlie. It's too soon." She closed her eyes. She heard him walk away without a word, open the front door, and close it behind him.
Then she turned onto her back, looked up at the ceiling. God, she thought, I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
Copyright (c) 1998 {hamlet}Ophelia