I’m an Anti-People Person

I bought a new bumper sticker this week, one that says, " People suck." Not to be controversial, but because I appreciate the sentiment. The words "I’m a people person" will never come out of my mouth unless I’m being sardonic. I never get the warm fuzzies when I’m around a lot of people, unless I’m at a concert; even then, I’m more warm than fuzzy.

This isn’t to say that there aren’t people I do like, because there are a fair number that I do. First, I don’t consider children to be people, because kids are special and unique. I like nearly all of the 200-odd kids I work with, but only working with the same ones two hours at a time probably helps. Also, once I know someone’s name, they too are eliminated from the broad generalization "people," because I’m fair like that. Once I know them they become Kevin who has a great band, and Nancy the psycho I work with. People are the faceless masses.

Much the like ubicqueious They, people are the cause of most of society’s ills.

It’s people who:

-Voted in the politicians who gave so little funding to higher education that my classmates and I have just about the highest student loan debt of anyone who attended a state university (guess which state)

-abuse little kids

-made minivans and cell phones popular

-made strides to lengthen the human life span without improving the quality of life for the super-elderly, causing heartache for them and those who care for them

-bought enough singing fish that manufacturers thought it was a good idea to copy them, so now there are half a dozen variations on the market.

-made it necessary for mothers to work, so children grow up under strangers’ care.

-brought back 60’s and 70’s fashions.

-cause wars.

-cause shows like "who wants to be a millionaire" to take up airspace

-ban high quality literature on the basis of hearsay, never having bothered to read the books they are condemning.

-sell guns to teens without a sting of conscience.

-see Hugh Grant movies and buy Whitney Houston cds.

-warped society’s image of beauty with stick figures in magazines, which has led to thousands of people destroyed their health seeking unobtainable ideals.

-made divorce so easy that half of all marriages end in divorce

-spent more money on beanie babies and pokemon than on cancer research

Very few bad things in life are brought about single-handedly, so it’s people working together who make this world a worse place to live in.

The people who make me angry the fastest, though, are my fellow motorists. Nothing puts me in a bad mood faster than being late because I’m stuck behind someone who insists on driving 15 miles below the speed limit, or getting stuck in traffic because everyone must slow down to gawk at a tragedy on the side of the road. I don’t think it’s road rage, exactly, I don’t drive in a foolish manner when angry, and I use the horn so little that I need to glance at the steering wheel to find it. It’s just that a cloud of bad feeling descends on me until I’ve gotten a chance to apologize to the people who expected me to be on time.

Maybe I sound bleak, but I don’t hate everybody. I just don’t love everyone either. I’m not so bad, unless you’re the jerk in the car in front of me making me late.