PHILOSOPHIES TO GET YOU
THROUGH THE DAY 
 
******
If at first you don't succeed, 
destroy all evidence that you tried.
******
A conclusion is the place where
you got tired of thinking.
******
Experience is something you don't
get until just after you need it.
******
For every action, there is an equal 
and opposite criticism.
******
He who hesitates is probably right.
******
Never do card tricks for the group
 you play poker with.
******
No one is listening until you make 
a mistake.
******
Success always occurs in private, 
and failure in full view.
******
The colder the X-ray table, the more
of your body is required on it.
******
The hardness of the butter is 
proportional to the softness of the 
bread.
******
The severity of the itch is proportional
to the reach.
******
To steal ideas from one person
is plagiarism; to steal from many is
research.
******
To succeed in politics, it is often 
necessary to rise above your
principles.
******
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
******
You never really learn to swear until
you learn to drive.
******
The problem with the gene pool is that
there is no lifeguard.
******
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th 
of your life.
******
The sooner you fall behind, the more
 time you'll have to catch up.
******
The light at the end of the tunnel is the
headlight of an approaching train.
****** 




                

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