Hey Im Bobby, I successfully completed the 5th grade when I was 13 years old. I’m now graduated and living on my couch in my imaginary house built from straw. If you dont believe then good cause Im lying. I’m 26 years old and I just graduated from high school. I was the most popular guy during my whole 6 years in high school, mainly because I could buy everyone beer and cigarettes. My parents kicked me out of the house in 8th grade, at the time I was 19. I found an abandoned house and stole a tent from wal-mart. Just to make things worse, Im still a virgin. I once asked a guy how many elephants can fit in a cargo plane full of fish. He replied “ Stupid questions will get you stupid answers.” I stole a pinto and changed the plates. I break into houses and take their clothes and shoes. I rob the truck drivers that deliver the food at the grocery store, then I put the food I steel in my stolen grocery cart. My friends use me and my girlfriends abuse me. During my senior year I kept getting love letters from my 63 yr. old English teacher. I took her out on a date and got her drunk, then I put her in a retirement home. I havnt seen her since. I stole a cell phone 4 months ago and Ive been using it as my phone since then. I guess you can say I’ve had a pretty exciting life. Or you can say Im just a washed up virgin that just graduated from high school. Either way Im well-off. Ive got a house, a tent, food, a Pinto and a cell phone. Im liven the good life and I haven’t had to pay a dime.

©1998 Corey Kidman
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