THE ALMIGHTY BoB
During an excavation in southwestern New Jersey, archaeologists found a toothpick (round) engraved several hours beforehand by the High Prophet of BoB. This ancient culture evidently view BoB as their almighty being due to the palindromic nature of his name. (BoB spelled backwards, after all, is BoB.) An excerpt of the sermon of BoB follows:
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In the beginning, there was BoB... make that breakfast... no BoB... OK, let's
compromise and say BoB and breakfast. In the beginning, BoB, in his magnificent
wisdom and strict adherence to nutritional guidelines, created breakfast. Thus,
into a bowl, BoB poured some cereal.
BoB sat down to partake of the cereal so recently poured into a bowl. His utensil of choice, that magnificent tool of creation--- the spork. But the spork works, even for the almighty BoB, only for the ingestion of fried chicken and mashed potatoes. Thus, a cereal bit fell upon the floor and that became the Earth... And unto this world came only barrenness (and the occasional insurance salesman,) until BoB partook of lunch. On his menu this very day, BoB, for reasons we cannot comprehend, partook of the soup of the non-rubber chickens. Once again, BoB chose to use the spork. Mind you, it was a different spork, for BoB does believe in cleanliness. And upon this noontime, BoB spilled again, drenching the barren cereal upon the floor. From this primordial soup, life sprang, giving splendor to the cereal... Life flourished for many a time, till the coming of dinner. BoB, in a way only described as ethnic, made the spaghetti and meatballs. As BoB feasted, an errant meatball came unto the Earth, destroying many of BoB's creatures, who had angered him in some way... Life continued, but all of Earth's creatures now knew they must await the great coming of the midnight snack. Some shall choose to wait in fear, for the snack shall be... leftover meatloaf. Others will welcome BoB's nocturnal noshing, for their belief is... J-ELLO. |
After reading this sacred text, one must ask one's self several questions:
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