CHAPTER 10: SHAKESPEARE (RICHARD) MOSTLY PLAYS THE FOOL

Panic had set its table for Burke and Jak to feed from. Burke's mind was racing as how to best find TJ before he got too far away, as was Jak's. "OK, Pick a straight line; run 10 minuets out; keep scanning left and right, then come back. I'll do the same. We'll pick new directions. OK?" And they were off. The forest was very thick and rolling. It was impossible to see more than a few yards. Burke was a point of total focus now. He was determined to find TJ no matter what. He would keep trying. He wasn't about to let his friend go.

That is the way it went: a ten minute set out and back again; out and out and out. They were starting to show the weight of discouragement. If TJ was moving in a straight line he would be 40 minutes away now-could even be a couple of miles away even in this thick forest. That was not good. They changed the plan and circled about in consecutively larger rings. The lake eliminated a great chunk of possibility. They were grateful for that.

TJ was not about to be found, however. Whatever direction he went was his secret. TJ was superb at the subtle art of deception. Many of his greatest feats were pulled off in front of everyone without their even knowing it-alcoholic sleight of hand.

Burke and Jak changed their strategy again. They put the last beer on a rock by the lake hoping that TJ really was close and would come like a mouse for the cheese.

They sat and watched the can.

Nothing happened.

They waited a long time-a very long time. The sun was beating down on them.

Making them thirsty.

So they drank it. It was the next best thing to finding him. "TJ won't be found unless he allows it." Burke thought aloud. Let's leave a note here for him in case he changes his mind. So they wrote to TJ:

TJ. KEEP YOUR HEAD TOGETHER AND STAY PUT! WE WILL BE BACK IN THE MORNING WITH HELP. DO NOT DO ANYTHING CRAZY OK? WE DO NOT WANT ANYTHING BAD TO HAPPEN TO YOU. WE WILL BRING BEER.

YOUR FRIENDS.

BURKE AND JAK.

Jak put a large rock on the note and left it in the middle of the drive. That should make it easy to find and keep the wind from blowing it away. That was about all they could do under the circumstances.

"Can you drive?" Burke asked Jak.

"Yeah. I've got a strategy ...works every time. I'll just stop at all the red lights and stop signs, and I won't go over 25."

"Sounds like a plan, let's go."

There was silence in the Piscataway on the ride home. Burke was thinking about recent events. TJ's words: "forever-just like you..." echoed in his reasoning. Forever, it seemed like such a long time. Did they all have an abuse problem? Maybe they all had demons, but TJ really had some demons to contend with. Poor fool. Set out with cigarettes, whiskey, and peyote, looking for purification of all things.

They finally reached town and Burke was cheered up by sight of the massage girls pink van: "The Velvet Touch- Massages to go...we really deliver!" It was waiting for the light to change. Most everyone in town referred to the van as the Velvet Toosh! Jak pulled along beside it and Fauna stuck her head out the window. Man she was even prettier in the daylight....funny he had never really seen her in the daylight before. Guess she was just a night person. "Hey Burke we're having a sale on local's today...shall I pull over?"

"What's a local anyway?"

"It's a special massage in a very local area if you know what I mean. It's very relaxing...."

"Not today, but I do need you two help me out-got some time?"

"I'll make time for you, hon..."

The girls pulled over. Burke asked them if they would visit a sick friend in the hospital, and being the wonderful humanitarian types that that they were, they agreed. In return Burke would take Fauna out sometime for a drink. It all seemed quite equitable. They stopped by the house to pick up Fluke, but General Marchbank was still out. Unusual, Very unusual.

Realizing that a plan needs orchestration, Burke became the quarterback calling out the play. "We've got to work as a team... Someone's gotta smuggle these two Babes in, and someone may have to distract the nurses, and of course someone's gotta guard the door."

"And no peeking either" Jak added.

"Screw that" said Fluke, "If I'm guarding, I'm peeking!"

"I'd better watch the door then" Burke stated.

Off they went to the hospital; anticipating a bit of therapeutic diversion. They arrived shortly and managed to move the party up to Rupert's room in small groups. Everyone who walked into the room stood for a moment in shock at the sight before them. Mostly-Bob's leg was raised high in traction; the top of his head and a diagonal slice of his face were solidly bandaged. His exposed eye was so black that he looked like a member of the raccoon family. He seemed to be half asleep, or perhaps heavily medicated. The group stood there trying to figure out what to do next.

Fauna was the first to break the ice. "Hey what's that odor?" she said turning left and right trying to zone in on the direction that the pungent smell was coming from.

Although he didn't want to, Jak volunteered. "Um-I think that you smell me," he said shyly.

"You?"

"TJ garden hosed Jak at the lake!" Burke said. You could tell by his tone that he thought it was hilarious.

"Big mouth..."

"Ugh. You mean he urinated on you?"

"Big mouth..."

"Hey Mostly-Bob, what's up man..." said Fluke trying to tactfully change the subject.

Mostly-Bob was silent.

"He's not talking man."

"Maybe he can't."

"Can you speak?" Burke asked.

"He's not talking man."

"Something is attacking my head" Mostly-Bob said.

"Did he say something is attacking my head?" Jak asked while trying to keep from laughing.

Mostly-Bob seemed to study his audience for a second, then started babbling a long string of senseless syllables. "On the new cable channel totally Devoted to jumpy ballroom dancers, I learned that obnoxious marmosets are fascinated by sickly oil company Elvis impersonators....."

Everyone bust out laughing at once. "He's out of his mind!" someone offered. Burke studied the bandaged man while the focus was away from him for a moment and saw a trace of a smile. Mostly-Bob was in rare form indeed but he probably wasn't as wasted as he was playing up to be. Burke was certain that he was showing off for company.

"What was that Rupert?"

Mostly-Bob was on a roll and tried his hand at another: "Only fools believe that tenors laugh at drug induced pod people..." and again there was a burst of laughter. "You're all tenors!" he added. This time he openly looked to Burke for approval with his good eye, while the group giggled.

Fluke tried a second time. "Are they feeding you well here?"

He smiled and shook his head. "Ow! Hurts to do that" he said.

"What did you have?"

"Lets see for lunch today I had smashed potatoes with helper gravy, jo' mama's biscuits, Tupelo pudding, and the entree was something, I think it was called chicken jigglers."

"Chicken jigglers?"

"On a stick.. well they gave me that shortly after my shot of Demerol, so that's what I called 'em. Well, at least they were jigglin' to me. In fact one wiggled off the stick and rolled under the bed somewhere--trails man!"

Everyone burst out laughing again at Mostly-Bob. He was on a roll.

"What does the gravy help you do?"

Mostly-Bob paused searching for a way to explain. "You know--don't make me say it in front of Uh--the ladies" he gave up.

Burke redirected the conversation. "How do you feel Mostly-Bob?" he asked.

"Ready for medication."

"Tell us what happened..."

Suddenly he seemed focused and coherent. Mostly-Bob switched gears into serious mode. He deliberated for a moment, probably to build a bit of suspense.

"Well I was in the bar... we all were in the bar though, weren't we? Then this guy with no teeth walks up. He's loomin' over me and he says: 'ahm gonna hafta open up a can of whupass on ya...' what? I ask him and he says 'dincha hear me boy?--gonna crack open a five gallon bucket of whupass on ya.' Then he grabs a bottle that goes flyin' by-- in mid air and ... and he breaks the damn thing over my head in one connected motion! Like I ain't got enough problems with my head already.... And that scares the shit out of me Burke-it's not that my head is split open and there's blood dripping in my eyes-or that the floor is racing toward my face. It's that he was able to grab that thing and whupass before I could even blink. Kicking ass was ballet to this son of a bitch."

Everyone just stood there blinking. "Tell us the rest Mostly-Bob..." Burke continued.

"The fat ass lost his balance and fell on me. We both tumbled backward, there was somebody... I think it was a dog or something laying down. My knee twisted and broke. The doctors think that I blacked out and others must have been kicking me on their way out."

The was a pause. Burke suddenly remembered his manners. He tried his best to dismiss the incident from his mind and lighten the mood once more. "Mostly-Bob do you know the Velvet Toosh girls? This is Fauna, and that is Dora." Fauna stepped forward and offered her hand. She was so tactile. Mostly-Bob knew that he had town royalty in his presence and acted accordingly. "Enchanted!" he said as he sweetly kissed her hand. "I never saw a goddess go; my mistress when she walks, treads on the ground, and yet by heaven, I thinking my love is rare..."

"Shakespeare, I am impressed-she said through a sunny smile; and who knows, someday I may be your mistress mister." All the while Burke was thinking (Fauna knows Shakespeare?). Fluke couldn't resist the urge to brag on Mostly-Bob. He quickly burst the poetry of the moment by offering an opinion like an unwanted prayer card. "One of his multiple personalities is Shakespeare, not William, but Richard...Bill's brother."

"Silence! Thou belubbering pottle-deep foot-licker!"

"See!--he gets like this.."

"I will speak to this fair one-ruttish toad-spotted moldwarp!" Again the room burst out in laughter. Mostly-Bob was really hitting his marks. He trimmed his oral dessert with one last poetic topping. Looking deep into her very soul he whispered "You shall shine more bight in these contents than upswept stone besmeared by sluttish time...."

Sluttish time, Burke chucked to himself. Mostly-Bob had made duration the slut instead of Fauna. That was really clever. He was playing Fauna like a lute.

Fauna seemed to be attracted to Mostly-Bob. She looked lovingly into his face. "I like you, you are deep and complex" she said as she tenderly kissed his wounded cheek.

Burke wondered why he had never noticed that before. It was true. Mostly-Bob was a complicated being; bright with life-modes ranging from a child to a Shakespearean actor. He was able to fluidly quote while having his head stove in and flying high on medication. Burke couldn't do that on his best day. And besides he had to admit the bandages were an improvement to Mostly-Bob's natural appearance. Burke became certain that Mostly-Bob has some sympathy sex waiting in the queue to become a wonderful life-long memory.

Fauna was still looking sweetly into his face. "Have you had your physical therapy today Mostly-Bob?" She asked. Bob shook his head shyly, while Dora began to close the curtain around his bed. She was closing the curtain to set the stage. "Everyone on out now, we've got to loosen this patient up; some fat ass opened a five gallon bucket of whupass on him. I think we can help..."

Fluke started to protest but Dora took his arm and strolled him toward the door. She was an accomplished professional. Burke, Jak, and Fluke soon found themselves in the hallway. Burke called the next play of the game "Split up, and we'll attract less attention to ourselves" he said. So Fluke and Jak went off in different directions while Burke guarded the door as promised.

Time passed. Burke tired of looking at his shoes, but then the boredom was broken by an approaching nurse with a Meds Caddy. No doubt she was coming by to give Mostly-Bob his medication. Burke had to think quickly. "Um... Excuse me ma'am, but I just came from this room. The patient just asked me for a bedpan and asked me to leave. The odor was getting pretty intense anyway. Rupert said that he would ring the nurse's station when he was done."

"Oh...OK... you have him ring when he's ready OK?"

"Sure."

"That helper gravy always works miracles" she said half to herself as she walked away.

"Man does she need a life" Burke said to himself.

The Toosh girls where in there quite a long time. Burke was hoping that they would emerge soon when the door opened a couple of inches. Dora peered through the crack. "The operation was a success" she whispered. "I think that the patient will be able to walk again!" She said with a big grin. Burke looked at her with great curiosity. She seemed to be trying to hide the fact that she was slightly out of breath and her hairline was soaked with perspiration. She had evidently doing something that was physically exerting.

"Can I come in then?"

"In just a minute. Fauna is closing up."

"Tell me how did the procedure go?"

"As well as can be expected. Mostly-Bob was horny enough to choke a snake, but once we got our hands on him he calmed down. Fauna gave him some additional medication and now he's resting comfortably."

The door opened and Burke began laughing. Dora was wearing Fauna's top and vise-versa. Dora now had the exposed mid-rift, and look--there was the navel ring. "Hey the ring!" exclaimed Burke. "It's a clip on!--I knew it."

"Oh no-no-no-Bany honey. It's real." she said wagging her finger back and fourth. "We both have one. Sometimes in our line of work we need to chain ourselves together...."

"More information than I needed at the moment" Burke interrupted. "You two do that on purpose!" And they most certainly did. Whenever they could.

"Well there isn't any more damage that we can do here!" Dora said cheerfully. "We've got to get back to the Toosh; we're have Locals on special this week." She looked deeply into Burke's eyes for a second as if to try and read his mind. "Would you like a local?"

Fluke had quietly approached from behind Burke. He knew the topic of conversation and saw an opportunity to leap in. "Do I need a coupon?" He said almost shyly.

"Sure Honey" replied Dora without breaking her gaze from Burke. "You can use a twenty dollar bill for a coupon if you'd like-let's see-hey Fauna how much of a discount should we give this anxious young man for a coupon?"

"Well--you've got to give him at least twenty dollars or it just wouldn't be fair..." she replied.

"Well if you can say anything about me, it's that I'm fair. OK, I'll give you twenty bucks off with the coupon."

"Twenty dollars! Really?"

Dora never missed a beat, and all the while she never took her eyes off of Burke.. "Are you ready?" she said to him. "This one is on me," she reached out her hand.

It seemed that the more he resisted the more irresistible he became to them. Their pursuit keep intensifying. "I think I'll wait for your Presidents Day sale" he answered, thinking quickly. He paused and looked at Dora's other half. "But Fauna I have been thinking... you've got me curious; where is your tattoo?"

"Come on in the van and I'll show you."

Burke had the sudden urge to gnaw off the limb that was caught in the trap that she had set. "Maybe we can throw that into your Presidents Days Sale package."

"Aw we've gotta wait 'till then?" She did a little hop, a silly gesture of protest. "I've got two friends just dyin' to meet you" she said as she puffed out he chest.

"You girls don't miss a trick!"

"We didn't with Mostly-Bob! They both giggled and walked off. Burke sighed a sigh of relief. He hoped that he had done the right thing. You never knew with Mostly-Bob. Fauna's discovery statement was true, he was quite complex.

Fluke excused himself too. "I'll get Jak" he said as he began to wander off in the direction the girls.

Burke went into see Mostly-Bob. 'Bob had a shit-eatin' grin on his face. "Hey thanks man...I never in my wildest dreams... Wo!" He was at a loss of words.

"It's quite all right buddy. 'Twas the least I could do under the circumstances-feel better now?"

"Man you'll never know the half of it! --Hey listen you've been such a good friend I want to tell you something..."

"You're not gay are you?" said Burke cocking an eyebrow and sighing.

"No-after the experience you just put me through, how can you even suggest? I'm about ready to call the nurse for an ice pack--for down there! It's nothing like that, but it's something that I think you know already. I'm--I'm really not schizophrenic you know" he said with hesitation in his voice. Mostly-Bob sighed a sigh of relief to get that off his chest. He expected shock and amazement from Burke, whom he had trusted. Instead he got disbelief.

"Yeah right Rupert!"

"No really-I never lost my mind"

"I've witnessed you switch characters repeatedly-people who looked thought and acted in ways that Rupert could never act..."

"The operative word here is act..."

"Why would you.... You're telling me that you are a remarkable actor Rupert-so extraordinary that you've convinced the world. But shouldn't you be telling this to your psychiatrist?"

"You're my psychiatrist Burke-I'm telling you."

"But why? Why now?"

"Because I trust you and believe that you are my friend..."

"I've gotta have some proof my friend. You opened this can of worms." Burke simply wasn't buying in, but he did want to hear Mostly-Bob's angle.

"Proof is no problem; I remember every character, every line that I've said since I was nine. That's when I started convincing everyone that I was different. I was different, but I wasn't crazy, or maybe that kind of crazy that somehow changes our perception of life."

"But why? Why Rupert do you play the fool?"

"Fools have always had unseen social powers and abilities Burke. In ancient times they were employed and enabled by the wealthy and powerful. People like having fools around; they tolerate a wide latitude of behavior. Idiots were only ones who could openly mock a king or nobleman. Most people don't notice them, but they are always around; observing and commenting. Fools have a long and intricate tradition in all forms of literature but they were especially empowered in the plays of William Shakespeare. I love Shakespeare he is waaaay out there. His fools take full advantage of their exempted character to speak the truth; to poke fun at those who take life too seriously. Fools are always around Burke. Always present. Always observing, and making social comment. The greatest fool of our time is Red Skelton. He says, and I love this quotation: "A comedian is the Most Serious Main in the World."

Do you get what he is saying? It's heavy man. He has given us laughter through tears of compassion. We call it entertainment, but really it goes way beyond the interaction between our head and our hearts. Something very wonderful is taking place. Whatever it is, it's extremely powerful.

OK doctor Burke there's your motive. I'll try to put it on a more personal level though; why I play schitzo. It's kind of hard to put into words-it all started with a girl that I liked named Vickie Balatchky, and a very embarrassing moment."

He thought a moment then continued. "I guess it really all started when I was young. I was born at a very early age you know... my childhood was wonderful. My family loved me, and I them. They adored my charades and I soon discovered that if I tried things that were way out there, even then, I got back a positive reaction. I wanted to be an actor when I grew up, and so I acted every chance I could-I became many people-to the point where I started losing me. It made people lighten up. I remember that very clearly."

Mostly-Bob stopped for a moment to examine his audience. Burke was beginning to see a pattern in that. Mostly-Bob did seem to constantly tune his behavior toward whomever he was playing to. Burke was genuinely interested and Mostly-Bob sensed that, so after a brief pause he continued on. "My parents divorced when I was seven, and I stayed with my mother. Up until then I thought that they both loved me the same, but it was my Dad who adored my antics.

Should I go on... or could you even give a shit?"

"Yes Rupert, do go on-I always wondered what made you tick."

"You're the doctor. Anyway the world changed Burke. It changed around me no matter how much I tried to hold it together. It changed in ways that I couldn't understand. Time changed things too. We all lose our innocence driven by the beating hand of reality. I played at being a kid.... Played hard. But I couldn't go back to the simplicity that preceded chaos. When I lived with Mom, she seemed to have no concern for me, least of all being entertained by me. In school it was the same. I always seemed to be the new kid. Pretty soon learned that I could gain popularity and a kind of acceptance as the guy with multiple personalities. You know it was kind of...." Mostly-Bob searched his mind for the proper adjective.

"Safe.

I became Mostly-Bob. I didn't have to worry about girls liking me. They did, but never crossed that line. I was well liked by everyone, but more important I was safe. I was even popular. The little nuts kid; the fool that had an enormous latitude of behavioral tolerance. The working mans fool. Levity was expected at times, even demanded. "You're nuts-go on do something crazy! Teachers passed me sometimes because they did not want me back in their class again the following year. Insanity began to work and pay off to me. Mom thought I was nuts too. Poor Mom. She partially blamed herself, and partly Dad, but it was neither. I was out hustling, not a buck but feelings. I was playing to the big crowd-the world.

I studied them all, Shake and the lot. I thought that it would be crazier if I played William's brother... does any of this make any sense? Do you think that you can understand where I'm coming from?"

"Really Mostly-Bob...you've been faking the whole time." Burke was only partially convinced but did not want to upset Mostly-Bob so he did not show it.

"I need a solemn promise that you will keep my little secret. If people find out, no only will they not like me for not being schitzo, but no one will be able to trust me either."

"Good point."

"Deal?"

"Deal."

Just then there was a knock on the door, and General Marchbank poked his head in. "Oh Rupert-someone has come to see you... Someone very special. Someone you love as much as I."

"Whoisit whoisit oh tell me whoisit?" Mostly-Bob said, instantly switching to a child-like persona.

"Lady's and Gentlemen, Presenting the one, the only: Herbert the lovable Zombie!"

Mostly-Bob began clapping excitedly like a birthday boy who just had a clown show up at his party. Burke studied him. Burke really wasn't convinced that Mostly-Bob wasn't nuts.

And through the door entered Herbert, complete in his zombie gear, but he did not have his zombie hands on. He walked over to Mostly-Bob. "Bob Dover at your service-some call me Herbert!"

"Is it really you? Oh Herbert, I thought that you would be much taller. I can't believe it-you guys are such good friends. I've never had such good friends, even my family... thanks so much." Then in a desperate whisper to Burke: "don't let him wink OK? I'll pee the bed if his eyeball pops out and comes rolling at me."

He looked admiringly at the lovable zombie. "Well what do you do Herb? Card tricks, tumbling? -- let 'er RIP! I'm ready for anything!"

"No nothing like that. I generally just try to keep from forgetting my lines...I mostly just sit around in a trailer during the day drinking coffee, and reading the paper. I get out in the lights a couple hours a day if I'm lucky." He turned around to Marchbank and quietly said "he does know that I'm just a student actor right?" Marchbank shrugged his shoulders. Bob Dover turned back to Mostly-Bob wondering what to do next.

"Tell me about your next episode Herbert" Mostly-Bob said with obvious excitement in his voice.

"Well it's a good one, destined to be a classic I might add. Herb stumbles upon a cowboy, played by a good friend of mine, who has this kind of male-chauvinistic high libido condescending womanizing kind of thing happening. Anyway he likes to play dice by the moonlight--in his underwear--a comic touch that I added. In this episode Herb convinces him that gambling is bad."

"Wow-that sounds deep. I can't wait to see it." He turned his head toward Burke, and gave a wink with his good eye that only Burke could see.

"Yeah, I like it because it has such a strong moral theme. Hey, you can't smoke in here can you? I've got some shit that will turn us all into zombies...." Dover knew that things would be OK from this point on. He relaxed a bit and sat on the chair next to the bed. "Mind if I take off these Zombie Shoes? They're killin' my dogs!" he said as he slipped one off then the other.

Everyone in the room had questions to ask of Herb, but all of a suddenly they became painfully aware of the overwhelming odor that was expanding like their universe. Burke tried to ask a question, but the odor became oppressive. All he could get out was "the hell is that smell?" Everyone looked at each other trying to figure it out, but Dover knew he was nailed. "Oh, that's just 'prop' odor. The put it in my shoes for realism" he said.

"Bullshit!" Exploded Mostly-Bob. "Tell it like it is! Your damn feet stink!" His face had turned red, minimizing the effect of his bruises. Burke was beginning to see a pattern in Mostly-Bob between foul odors, and aggression.

"OK I'm sorry" said Dover who was scrambling to put the zombie shoes back on. "The last guy who played Herbert must have had athletes foot real bad...and now I'm wearing these shoes all day. I've got to get some foot powder in these things. Hey I'm sorry Mostly-Bob. I'll just leave now."

Mostly-Bob had hurt Herbert's feelings, and for that he was truly sorry. "Wait, don't go I'm sorry." But it was too late. Herbert, head down, was out the door.

"You just broke that Zombie's heart" Burke scolded Mostly-Bob.

"I said I was sorry!"

"Screw it. I'm glad he's gone. His feet stunk!" said Fluke.

"Do you have any idea how much trouble I've gone through to arrange this visit?" Marchbank asked. "I've been on the set all day begging Dover to come down and play. He even got dressed for Mostly-Bob. That's the thanks I get. I was even going to have him sign one of his rubber scabs for Mostly-Bob, but I guess we can forget that now too...

Anyway you shouldn't have messed with Dover, he's from Chicago you know. He can probably have your car blown up."

"But I don't have a car..."

"Well then he can have your leg broken..."

"But my leg already is broken."

"Hey I guess you can mess with Dover then."

"Don't say that Marchbank!" Said Fluke. "They'll find Mostly-Bob without his hands in a shallow grave. They do shit like that in Chicago, isn't that right Burke?"

Burke kept silent.

Marchbank disagreed. "No. They don't do that in Chicago anymore. You're thinking of the gangster days, they're long gone. Isn't that right Burke?"

Burke kept his silence again for a moment , but the looked over at Mostly-Bob. "Don't worry about Dover," he said. "Dover's just a punk, he can't even take care of his feet..." He could tell how badly he felt now. Especially since there would be no autographed rubber scab, and he might be found without his hands. Dammit!

Everyone was at a loss of words now. Their visit was going so well until now. Mostly-Bob was saved by the bell when Sunni entered. She had a birthday cake and the cardboard pyramid from the Space Room. "Here Rupert this is for you!" she said. Sunni had fastened a rubber band on the bottom for a chin strap like a child's party hat. She walked over and helped him place his head inside the pyramid. Mostly-Bob looked utterly ridiculous in the pyramid party hat. "This will heal you faster and maybe help with the pain I hope" she said.

All gathered 'round the bed. It was quite a sight, this outlandish family; all bestowing their best wishes for a speedy recovery. Mostly-Bob was a weird center piece to the setting wearing the pyramid head and all. The gathering broke into song:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOSTLY-BOB

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

"Aw thanks guys!" Said Mostly-Bob. "But it's not my birthday!"

"That's OK" said Sunni. "I thought that having a birthday would cheer you up!"

"Thank you, that has. How old am I now Sunni?"

"Twenty-three"

"That was really nice. You guys are the greatest."

The Nurse poked her head in the door. "Oh--I can tell that you did need that bedpan" she said. "I'll just open a window."

"No I didn't use the bedpan. That was my good friend's feet: Herbert the Lovable Zombie" Mostly-Bob said with a beaming pride. "Hey where's TJ?"