*Ahem*

Ok, So I have made a huge mistake and could quite possibly be sabotaging something at this very moment. I am actually allowing what I  refer to as an "Outsider" Read this web site.  You RH Fans know what I am talking about.  I told this interested party that the only people who really pay any kind of attention to this site is the people who are privileged enough to read my daily posts. Rather, you guys are  the only people who  really care.
So, I am listening to Mozart's requiem right now, and can't help but feel like that has some kind of weird significance. I also think that this ties into my latest preoccupation with Death, dying, and daily thoughts on suicide. No...not planning my own death, but I would like someone out there to please play "Street Spirit" when I Knock off.
So, anyhow, this summer is almost drawing to a close, and i am fucking glad for that. It's not that i was unhappy with the way Summer went, I had a decent one, It's just a longing for The Dead middle of winter, when the sky is clear, and the stars seem to shine brighter. Every time I look up at the stars I also can't help but think that, possibly, there is someone else out there, thinking the same thing I am. Strange, along with my preoccupation with Death, I have this strange interest in astronomy again. I had this interest as a kid, but with more of a scientific flair. Now, i'm interested in only the romantic aspect of the stars that shine above. or the effect the moon has on Lunatics such as myself. I drove home last night looking at the alignment of the moon, Saturn and mars, listening to
"Subterranean Homesick Alien" How very appropriate.
I finally had a nice break from my debilitating Nightmares, too. I dreamt about him last night.  He had THE NERVE to creep into my dreams. However, it was a welcome break from the horrid nightmares. perhaps I should thank him for it. It's funny how, in dreams, you get everything you want. This is one dream That I didn't want to wake from. And it has been quite a while since that has happened.
So, now that I have successfully cleaned up my last column (shittttttt, I could have been busted Hard for that one) I suppose Mr. interested party can now read without getting a peek into the real depths of my soul. I believe that if I allowed anyone in that far, It would not be very good. Except for you kind people of the RH board. You people know too much already......
 

-----L
8-20-00