Barbie hasn't spoken in twenty years
and when she finally does, little girls
and those who remember being little girls with her,
cock their ears, smile, and listen.
Math class is tough, says Teen Talk Barbie,
not quite exasperated, but certainly resigned.
Math class is tough?
Is that it?, we all wonder, pulling her string again
to see if she'll say anything more enlightening.
The American Association of University Women
wants Teen Talk Barbie pulled from the shelf
until Mattel agrees to let their favorite doll say something else.
There's enough anxiety around algebra, geometry,
calculus and trig. That's just what what little girls don't need-
someone else telling them they'll never balance
a successful checkbook. Politicians
wonder if Barbie is a Republican-
her soft analysis of math just in time
for the 1992 presidential election.
Is she being easy on Bush?
Math class is tough....so give him a break,
why don't ya?, about the economy.
Imagine the White House's computer printouts-
full of indivisible fractions and prime numbers.
Barbie herself tried to run for president
against the Ross Perot Troll Doll, sure
her red and white and blue cheerleader's skirt
would appeal to male voters. When she didn't
make the primary, tabloids spotted her
shopping at Macy's and eating a hot fudge sundae.
So maybe this time she's aligning with the feminists-
saying that math is particularly tough
on women-there are scales and dress sizes and calories
all designed to keep us counting and counting.
Or in the United State's quint-centennial,
maybe she means that math is still tough
on Native Americans. Maybe Barbie
is rejecting our colonial commerce.
Little girls and scholors look for other metaphors-
Math could mean reason, logic. Class has the connotations
of socioeconomic levels-lower, middle,
and the wealthy. Tough could stand
for being resistant or stubborn.
In anagram-language Math class is tough
translates to Last hog scum hat
or Shout at clam gist. No one knows for sure
exactly what Barbie is talking about.
Yet we sense she picks her words
the way she picks her wardrobe-
nothing sloppy, and always a grand design
that makes the rest of us feel half in, half left out.