1. Nitroglycerin suppository
2. Dr. Kivorkian approved suicide kit
3. Paper cuts from hate mail.
4. Wine press
5. Random Act of Terrorism
6. Dissolved in organic solvent
7. Flinstone's Barney Rubble clubs him
8. Exploding gas barbeque
9. Date With Lorena Bobbit
10.Sacrifice to a tribal god
11. Children's Tylenol laced with cyanide
12.Field trip to the Toronto Metro Zoo.
Barney loves to spread love and happiness to all of the carnivores.
13.Exploding school bus
14. Barney meets the Terminator. "Hasta la vista Barney!"
15. Skydiving accident (His concrete parachute fails to open)
16. Lethal injestion of bean sprouts and tofu
17. Forced to listen to 700 hours of non-stop Hanson
18. Pulp digestor/Saw Mill
19. Rusty meat hook (anyone see I know what you did..?)
20. Hit and run at a school crossing
21. Exploding in an industrial sixed microwave oven
22. Strapped to a shuttle launch pad
23. Strapped to the heat shields of a space shuttle during reentry
24. Brain scrambled (rescrambled?) by aliens
25. Body cavity search using a fish scaling knife
26. Strapped to the back of a target during the Championship Archery Contest
27. Dipped in liquid nitrogen and 'accidentally' pummelled with bat
28. Served as Thanksgiving dinner
29. OOps! Barney shouldn't have soldered that propane tank while full
30. Mistaken for Pinata
31. Used as Guinea pig in a pain threshold study
32. Shark bait
33. Barney becomes one with Oscar Myer (Yuck...)
34. Crashtest dummy
35. Blended into McBarney shakes and pressed into McBarney patties
(would you like McFries with that?)
36. Crushed between plates in a fault line
37. Nuclear warhead test site
38. Play leap frog in a mine field (I love you..BLAM!!!!!!!!!)
39. 'Accidentally" shoved in front of subway train.
40. "I love you" song triggers avalanche
41. Run over by a zamboni
42. Fed through a branch/leak shredder
43. Office paper shredder
44. Trampled by thousands of tiny spongie feet
45. Elephant stampeed (ok I can't spell)
46. Asphixiation on a twinkie
47. Bungee jumping with cord tied around neck
48. 1000 RPM merry-go-round
49. Building sandcastles in a quicksand box
50. Dragged behind a schoolbus on a gravel road
51. Tail caught in elevator doors
52. Legalization of purple slavery
53. Home lobotomy kit
54. Nasal spray or eye drops replaced with concentrated acid
55. Add crushed glass to his granola or high fiber cereal
56. Barney meets Mr. Chainsaw
57. Force fed pure sugar and caffeine until he explodes (pixy sticks work well)
58. Accupuncture with a nail gun
59. Assimilated by the borg
60. Shintu massage as administered by a sumo wrestler
61. Chopped up into pet food (Purina Barney chow)
62. Kidnapped by members of the Colombian drug cartel
63. Purple parasites
64. Swarmed by killer bees
65. Sucked into a turbo-prop engine
66. Close encounter with a white supremist
67. Thrown in a vat of bleach
68. Extuded through microcapilliaries
69. Barney ges for a spin on a cyclotron. Too bad about the sudden stop
70. Pre-mortum autopsy
71. Massage with a stun gun
72. Heat pastuerization
73. Beaten up by Disney gang
74. Barney stars in Itchy and Scratchy movie
75. Abandoned in a sensory deprivation tank
76. Barney meets Elmira (I'm gonna hug him and squeeze him
to itty bitty pieces)
77. Make him the next Spice girl (Purple spice)
78. Use him as a zap-o-matic target
79. Paint him green and give him to Gallager for his Sledge-o-matic
80. Put a horse collar on him and abandon him on alt.sex.beastiality
81. Paint "Branch Dividian & Proud of it" and drop him off at the BATF hq
82. Sic the IRA after him
83. Used in a TV commercial promotion of Ginsu Knives. Even after cutting
this tin can, the ginsu knives rip through purple flesh with ease
84. Put him on a blind date with Lorena Bobbit AFTER she gets her new
set of Ginsu knives
85. Barney scrapple
86. Bury him next to Jimmy Hoffa
87. Use Barney as a test subject for new nerve gases
88. Deep sea diving in a locked steamer trunk
89. Nato air strike
90. Live organ donor
91. Egyptian mummification ritual
92. Plummet into active volcano
93. Coated in honey and fed to fire ants
94. Conversion to sugar glazed junk food
95. Quiet dinner with Jeffrey Dahmer
96. Pilgrimage to the Holy land
97. Visit to the taxidermist
98. Blasted with a Neuron-T-disrupter
99. Take him off Prozac
100. Forced to watch 'The Wall' video without his happy pills
101. 100 hours of continuous "Black Sabbath" (Hey!!! I like Black Sabbath!)
102. Give him lead role in a snuff film
103. Tar and feathered by crazed parents
104. Spontaneous combustion
105. Bludgeoned to purple paste
106. Spanish Inquisition revisited
107. Gilateen (Another thing I can't spell.)
108. The plague
109. Burned as witch
110. Visit to the Impailer's home (Historical refrence to one of my ancestors)
111. Send him to a Bill's game dressed as a Miami Dolphin
112. Mail him to Cuba
113. send him as a singing telegram to the remaining Communist leaders
114. Strap him to the Ifle Tower and let the French take shots at him
115. Let Barney climb the Sears tower (Did we forget to mention we waxed the
top two floors of the outside of the building?)
116. Pillow fight with opponent having a brick inside case
117. Strap eight tons of TNT to Barney & send him to visit Saddam Husein.
118. Drop him in the middle of the Everglades during gator mating season
