The Top 10 Things You Don't Want To Hear From Technical Support

10. So, what are you wearing?

9. Bummer! Duuuuuuuude!

8. Looks like you're going to need some new dilythium crystals, Capt'n.

7. Press 1 for support. Press 2 if you want it today. Press 3 to buy the company.

6. We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of Duct Tape, and a car battery.

5. I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

4. In layman's terms, it's kaput!

3. Hold on a second....MOM! Timmy's hitting me!

2. Okay, turn to page 463 in your copy of Dianetics.

1. Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney.