To Burn Out or Fade Away
by Robert Coakley
Strange, the view from here.
Words we spoke
Forgotten at the time,
Now replay in my mind.
What went wrong?
What was right?
Looking back, I never was there for you.
You didn't say it, but I know it's true,
I can't find the real world at all.
Everytime I think I've won
I hear your voice inside
Questioning me.
Where have you gone?
Can't remember feeling so alone
You always held the answers
That I could not see.
I can't find the real world (3X)
Queensryche "The Real World"
The sky outside Xavier's Institute for Higher Learning was cloudy and
grey. A storm was brewing, thought it would be a matter of hours before
rain would actually come. A tiny humming sound could be heard, and a one
person hovercraft landed on the gate outside the school grounds.
The man who exited the craft had a youthful, handsome face, with blonde
hair and blue eyes that gave him an almost surfer-dude aspect. He was
young, probably still only a teenager, although his eyes had a
thoughtful, soulful intensity that few his age could possess. He was
wearing a nice, three piece suit, one that showed off his well-muscled
frame and shoulders. On his finger, he wore a ring, with a blue number
four set in.
The man opened the gate. He knew that ever move he made was being
carefully monitored. He was glad he had the common sense to call ahead,
and give specifics about what he was going to drive and what he was going
to wear. The man knew that the security monitors would be extra
sensitive and trigger happy to any type of guest, especially with such a
delicate new arrival in the mansion.
As he made his way up the walkway, a sudden voice inside him said to
turnaround, get back in the hovercraft, and go home. He was an intruder
there, he didn't belong.
Nothing new there. Technically, I shouldn't be in this time. I'm
supposed to be five years old at this point, the man thought. Still, not
much point in turning back now. Any deviation from his path could result
in any sorts of nasty security traps being set on him.
The man finally made it to the door. He knew that at least half the
people inside knew he was there, and why he had come, but manners told
him to ring the doorbell anyway.
The door swung open. The man was a little surprised by what he saw. He
had half-expected Bishop to appear and hold his plasma rifle right up to
his face and demand name, rank, and security number. Instead, Scott
Summers himself was there, looking very benign and friendly.
"Hello, Franklin." Scott said.
"Hello, Mister Summers." Franklin Richards said.
"Please, do come in."
"Thank you, Mr. Summers." Franklin stepped into the mansion.
The center hallway was so large and luxurious. Franklin thought that
he had not seen such splendor since Latveria.
"Please. Franklin. Call me Scott."
"Okay. This place is wonderful, I've never been here before...well
I have but I was only four and the place had been a pile of rubble..."
"I understand, Franklin. I take it you wish to see..."
"Y'know, if your wife is asleep or something, I can come back another
time."
"No, no, Jean is awake. So is..."
Franklin knew it was rude to cut him off like this, but he just
couldn't hear the name right then and there. "...the baby? That's
great. I know my mother would love to be here, but you know how it is."
"Very much so, Franklin. Not many people are home. They're all down in
Virginia for the funeral." Awkard pause. "Would you like to stay in the
rec room for a while?"
"Oh. Alright, I'll stay there until it's all ready."
Scott guided Franklin to the Rec Room, a place with a pool table, 40
inch TV, and almost every amenity one could think of for home entertainment.
Suddenly there was a loud rumbling sound overhead. Franklin, dressed
in a dark green jumpsuit and boots with a small M on his breast pocket,
looked up. He knew what that sound was.
"Above us." he shouted. "That sound. SENTINELS!"
A white hot laser blast bore down on him. He could feel his skin and
muscles being charred away to the bone as he heard his own screams. He
could also hear something else. One other voice. Rachel, only a few
feet away, screaming his name.
In the rec room, Franklin almost fell over against the door.
"Franklin! Franklin, are you all right?"
"Oh, yes Scott I'm fine. Could I sit down for a minute?"
"Of course, Franklin. There is some soda and food in the small
refrigerator over there, Help yourself. You can go see them when your ready."
"Thank you, Scott."
As Scott left, Franklin collapsed into the soft couch. He took a few
deep breaths. So, there it was. A flashback, or maybe a flash forward,
to his death at the hands of the Sentinels the night the X-Men sent Kate
Pryde back in time and escaped from the South Bronx internment center. Of
course, it really wasn't him, just a "him" from an alternate future timeline,
where the Jean Grey/Phoenix had never "died," and gave birth to Rachel
Summers. In that future, the Sentinels took over North America, blew up
the mansion he was in right now, and incarcerated or killed every single
super-powered being, hero or villain, mutant or otherwise. Rachel, then
about only 17 or 18, managed to return Kate Pryde to the past, and then
later sent herself, to try to stop it. Only she reached this timeline,
where Phoenix died and she could never exist.
Franklin sighed. How bad for him to be 18 when he was supposed to be
only 5 years old this year, how much worse for her to go back in time to
discover her mother was dead and the love of her life was only four. And
then all those problems with Jean Grey coming back and everything.
Franklin was amazed Rachel was able to keep her psi-sensitive head on
straight to become a valuable member of the X-Men and Excalibur.
And then his ghost came back to haunt them both.
Apparently at the moment of death, Franklin's future self locked on
to Rachel's time displacement power (which could allow someone's astral
self to travel back in time) as well as his four-year-old self's dream
travel power. The future Franklin, in his desire to keep everything
"right," turned Four Freedoms Plaza back into the Baxter Building, "erased"
X-Factor's Ship, restored the then-destroyed X-mansion, and "vanished
away" Cyclops' son, Nathan.
It wasn't until Storm recalled what Kitty had known while in the
future in Kate's body that everything was made clear: Franklin was dead.
That information caused the discovery that Franklin was sucking both
Rachel and his four year old self dry power-wise, to maintain his
existence. Franklin decided to allow himself to be absorbed back into his
younger self. To fade away, so everything would go back to the way it
was. End of story.
Well, not exactly.
About a year later, young Franklin's grandfather, Nathaniel Richards,
took Franklin to the future. Fortunately, it wasn't a future ruled by
Sentinels. Franklin returned when he was sixteen, even though to
everyone else, he was only gone half a minute.
Franklin had hoped that when he got back, he could meet Rachel. He
knew of his other self's love for her, love that went from beyond time
and the grave. While he wasn't sure what would happen, he just wanted to
meet Rachel and at least talk with her for a while. At the very least,
they could talk about being psychically powered chronological anomalies.
But, when he got back, Rachel was gone. She faded away into the
timestream to save Captain Britain, never to return.
Faded away. In their own ways, both Franklin and Rachel had faded
away: Franklin into "himself" and Rachel into the timestream. Ironic,
considering how, in this timeline, their parents had burned out.
Franklin's father, Reed, had burned out in a white hot explosion that lit up
Latveria, taking Dr. Doom with him. Rachel's mother (in this timeline)
burned out on the moon, to prevent the Phoenix force from running wild
and destroying the universe. A split second bang and they were gone.
True, Jean Grey had come back, and it seemed likely that Reed Richards
was going to come back too, but still... Burning out in a blaze of glory
before their loved one's very eyes.
And now Jean Summers had just given birth to five pound, four
ounce baby girl named Rachel.
All this thinking about future selves and alternate timelines, burning
out and fading away made Franklin's head hurt. He got a soda can out of
the small fridge, and took a few swallows.
Suddenly, his psi-senses picked up someone close by, who knew he was in
here, but wasn't sure how, or even if, to say hello.
"You don't have to worry," Franklin said. "I'm not going to wink you
out of existence and then say 'There, that's better.'"
Jubilee appeared at the doorway, a little miffed that she'd been
spotted telepathically. "I didn't think you would remember that."
"When my other self was absorbed into me, I also absorbed some of the
memories. I didn't understand most of them until I was a lot older."
"I see." Still somewhat wary, Jubilee entered the room. While the
face was the same, the manner and appearance of this Franklin was much
different from the one who she met in Madripoor, shortly before he winked
herself and Psylocke out of existence. It was Wolverine's explanation of
what being an X-Man meant which convinced that Franklin to return them. "So,
I take it your here to see the baby."
"Yes."
"Good. I'm glad I don't live here anymore. I don't think I could
stand staying in this place with a baby around to demand all the
attention in the world."
"So you're just visiting here for while?"
"Yeah. I live over at the Massachusetts Academy. Hear of it?"
"Yes I have."
"It's nice. Runs a close second to this place in terms of Trump-like
extravagance and Trek-like high-tech."
Franklin paused for a moment. "Would you like to watch T.V.?"
Jubilee smiled. She seemed to be getting more and more at ease, for
which Franklin was grateful. "Actually, I tried. There isn't anything
on any station other than the funeral."
"Oh." Jubilee was referring to the services broadcasted from Arlington
National Cemetery. Today, America was burying three of it's heroes: Nick
Fury, Timothy "Dum-Dum" Dugan, and Gabriel Jones. The three leaders of
S.H.I.E.L.D. had died heroically in the line of duty, protecting
Senator-elect Charles Xavier from an assassination attempt by the Friends of
Humanity. The "friends" had disguised themselves as mutant terrorists,
using stolen A.I.M. equipment to fake super-powers. Fury himself had
taken the bullet Graydon Creed had fired point-blank at Xavier, but not
before nailing Creed right between the eyes. Fury, Dugan and Jones were
being laid to rest with full honors. So much for old soldiers fading
away.
"Are you scared?" Jubilee actually seemed to be showing some concern
for Franklin, a fact that surprised him.
"Scared? What's there to be scared of?"
"Are you scared to go up there and see them?"
Franklin was a little indignant. "I'll have you know, young lady, I
once scattered Mephisto into six pieces across the universe. I can
handle myself. I mean, she's just a baby."
"That's my point. Y'know, you might not be ready for this."
Franklin didn't answer her. He stood up, walked out of the rec room,
and made his way upstairs. He would show her who wasn't ready. He was
Franklin Richards, son of Reed and Sue Richards, leader of the Fantastic
Force. His code name was Psi-Lord for crying out loud. Surely he could
handle a new mother and a six-week-old baby.
Scott was waiting for him at the top of the stairs. He was unusually
stone-faced. They walked along the hallway.
Franklin's mind reeled for something to say. "Was it a difficult birth?"
Scott paused for a moment. "It was touch-and-go for a little while,
but all of us made it through okay."
"That's nice." Not as though they had to go to the Negative Zone to
get a cosmic power rod from Annihulus or anything.
Scott stopped. "I can't read your mind Franklin," he said. "Still I
think I have some idea of what you're feeling. Rachel felt it too. I
know you have a mother who loves you, and a team that looks up to you,
but there are some battles that you..."
"Please, Scott. On the behalf of my team and my mother, I simple want
to wish your wife and your daughter well." Franklin hoped that didn't
sound as defensive as he felt.
Scott's head lowered. He knocked twice on the door. It swung open.
Taking a deep breath, Franklin walked inside.
The nursery was beautiful. It had a bright pink wallpaper covering,
with a few toys and stuffed animals in the corners.One of the stuffed
toys included a small Nightcrawler-shaped Bamf doll, and another one that
bore a strong resemblance to the Beast. In the center of the ceiling a
light shaped like a beach ball illuminated the room with a multi-colored
glow. In the center of the room was the crib.
Jean Summers was standing over the crib, a very loving, though slightly
mysterious smile on her face. She looked up at Franklin, and smiled even
more broadly. "Hello, Franklin."
When Franklin tried to talk, he discovered that he had been biting his
lower lip. "Hello, Mrs. Summers."
"Jean, please."
"Jean. I've come on behalf of my mother and my team to wish you and
your daughter well."
"That's very kind of you Franklin. How is your mother? I haven't
seen her in... a while."
"She's fine, Jean." Franklin's instincts screamed for him to leave,
go as far away from this mansion as he could and never ever come back.
Jean leaned down into the crib and picked up the baby. Franklin
could see a light red tuft around the baby's head, which meant she was
going to have red hair, like her mother. Jean gave the baby a light kiss
on the forehead, and then held the baby so she was facing Franklin.
Franklin knew what Jean was going to say next. Half of him hoped she
would and the other half prayed she didn't.
"Would you like to hold Rachel, Franklin? I think she'd like that. I
know I would."
Wonderful. Ask the impossible, when nobody can deny a new mother any
request. Very smooth of her. "I'd be honored, Jean." NO, NO, NO! Get
out of here! Go! Now!
With an amazing amount of gentleness, Jean carefully placed Rachel
into Franklin's arms. Rachel's beautiful, innocent green eyes stared up
at him. Franklin suddenly realized that if she let her hair grow out,
Rachel could pass for her mother's identical twin when she was older.
Franklin wondered why Rachel never grew her hair out. "Tough hair for a tough
girl," she once said. But that was another Rachel. So alike and so
different from the one he was looking at right now. This Rachel had her
whole life ahead of her. With no worry about Ahab, hounds, Sentinels,
Mutant Containment Facilities. Nothing. And no Franklin Richards, only
five years older than her, to love and take care of her. No playing with
the Power kids. No goofing around in Reed Richard's or Henry McCoy's
respective labs. No first kiss in Professor Xavier's office. No classes
together with the other New Mutants. Nothing together. Nothing to
share between the two of them, ever. Only someone else's memories.
Rachel gave a slight giggle and burped. Franklin whispered down to
her. "Welcome to the world, Rachel Francis Summers. It's going to be a
great, wonderful place with you in it."
Franklin, trying to match Jean, handed Rachel back to her mother with
an equal gentleness. On an impulse, he gave Jean a slight kiss on the
cheek, and whispered "Her favorite song is 'Hey Hey, My My,'" He turned
around, and hastily walked out the nursery door.
Franklin shook Scott's hand the second he was out the door. "I can
find the exit myself, thank you. I appreciate you letting me over. I
hope to see you again soon." Franklin knew it was rude to ramble like
that to his host and then take off, but he had to get out of there. Fast.
Scott said goodbye, and then went into the nursery. Franklin walked
down the stares as fast as possible without trying to look like he was
running. He made it to the bottom of the stairs, only a stone's throw
from the front door. If he could just reach it in time...
Too late.
Franklin fell against the banister, tears streaming uncontrollably
out his eyes. Gritting his teeth and sniffing, he slid down to the floor
and sat there, weeping.
It wasn't fair. It simply was not fair. He goes to the future as a
child, spends his nights dreaming about her and the day they'll be
together. Then he comes back, and she's gone. True, sacrificing
yourself for a teammate was the way almost any good hero would want to go
out, but it was not fair. They were supposed to be together. All this crap with
time travel and cosmic beings and clones wasn't supposed to happen! It
was supposed to be just the two of them. Him the son of the founder of
the greatest super-team ever assembled, her the daughter of the heart and
soul of a team destined for legendary status. They were supposed to be
together. After all the garbage both of them had gone through, the way
they both faded away instead of burning out, it just wasn't fair.
Franklin clawed at his face, praying that none of the X-Men would
show up. All the respect they had for the Fantastic Force and him would
go down the drain if that happened. He wanted more than anything to just
get on his hovercraft and fly back to Four Freedoms Plaza. But his legs
weren't working right.
After a moment, Franklin was able to get himself under control. He
started to get up, wondering if anyone was around.
"Are you all right?"
Franklin silently cursed. He turned to see Jubilee, bent over looking
at him. Fortunately, no one else was around.
"Oh. I-I'm fine. I just...slipped on the stairs."
"I see." She paused. "Would you like me to walk you out?"
Franklin weakly smiled. "I'd like that very much."
He stood up, and the two of them walked out the front door. They
started down the path to Franklin's hovercraft.
As the walked, Jubliee turned to Franklin. "So, you really once blew
Mephisto into six pieces?"
"Uh-huh. I was only four though. It was a kind of an instinctive
thing, when I didn't have a real handle on my
powers. I just wanted him to go away, and boom." He snapped his fingers.
"Hm. That sounds familiar. You must be good at that."
"Verrry funny."
They walked in silence for a moment. Then they reached the gate and
Franklin's hovercraft. Jubilee turned to him again.
"Uhh. I'll keep it to myself. You falling down the stairs and
everything."
"Thanks. It was my own fault anyway."
"Don't think like that. It took a lot of courage going up the stairs
in the first place. I don't know if I could handle it at all. I'm sorry
about snubbing you earlier. You may look like the guy who 'vanished' me
and Psylocke, (despite the circutry on your face and everything) but you're a
lot nicer and lot less obsessed with everything being as you think it
should be."
"Hey, according to my birth certificate, I should be only five years
old. I'm trying to accept things I can't change, change what I can, and
have enough insight to know the differnce."
Jubilee smiled. "In your line of work, that lack of insight can
usually mean being too stupid to know when you're beat."
Franklin matched her smile. "Not always, Jubilee. Not always."
Shaking her hand, he got on his hovercraft and took off towards Manhattan.
Jubilee looked after him. "Gee. I wonder what a vehicle like that
would qualify as on my learner's permit? Like I'll ever get a learner's
permit." Whistling "Hey Hey, My My" to herself, she headed back towards
the mansion.
"Where I come from, nothing's given
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I resent nepititism.
Now I paint with turpentine.
I give such good paradign.
Hey Hey, My My.
Rock and Roll can never die.
There's more to the picture
Than meets the eye.
Hey Hey, My My."
Neil Young "Hey Hey, My My."
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