A-Typical male's journal.

Anyway, an atheist card company (as in greeting cards, natch) was advertising 'Winter Solstice' Cards. The argument being, of course, that Christmas, and Hanukkah are winter solstice celebrations, yadda yadda yadda, yackety schmackety. So they are appropriate for those atheists who miss sending out mass mailings during the holiday season.

For me though, Christmas has a real meaning beyond what it means for Christians. Ok, so maybe I'm talking about a general Holiday attitude, and not about Christmas, but I was raised with Christmas, so it's the Christmas season, to me. They were even talking about it on NPR this morning. The whole thing about giving gifts. As opposed to the opposite.

See One of those Big Toy Chains(tm) has modified their stock software, so that kids could run around with hand scanners, and select each and every gifts they want. Now there would be no doubt about color, number of heads, or the position of the pointing index finger. Of course, this tied into a nice gift-registry application that works like a bridal registry. The callers were concerned about it, seeing it as another encroachment of commercialism and computers into Christmas. And on top of that, it focused more on the getting that the giving.

I can see the callers points. One of my whole problems with this season is the commercialism. The incessant buy buy buy from the retailers, the whole time being caught up in things.

Of course I fall into the same trap. I buy, and I want to buy. For gifts of course. I like buying and giving. There's very little to compare with picking something special out, and watching the person open it, and be surprised, happy, and excited. It sure beats the hell out of being embarrassed as they open your gifts.

Last year my christmas budget was 70 dollars. I had been working for an ISP that paid mainly in promises and hope. I could have gotten more as a receptionist. But I really liked working there.

I was a consultant, and this was to be a part time job, when I got it (it became my whole job, though). My friend Lysistrata was the internal person, and she found something much better. I don't blame her for leaving. Even if she had to leave at Christmastime. I told the ISP what it would take for me to stay. I knew I couldn't afford to live on that salary anymore. I also knew they were going to turn me down.

So I took that December 15th paycheck, and --somehow-- stretched it until then end of January. Of course, this included buying presents for everyone.

I had to change the definition of 'everyone' to 'close family'. I had to buy carefully selected gifts, at the right price...it was hard. I didn't even succeed at my goal. The gift I gave my grandparents broke the next day. But I couldn't afford to get another one to replace it.

This year, today, I've got about one hundred dollars in the bank. I had to repair my car, and that took a chunk of our christmas money. But we have everyone's christmas present (except for two) for both Azura's and my family. And there's nothing in there that makes me sad, either.

Three Christmases ago, things were tight, too. But that was because I was living at home, had just started my business, and was getting ready to go to Charlotte, and school. I was still able to buy gifts for everyone...the time was even joyous.

Five Christmases ago, we spent our vacation at the hospital, hovering around my Grandmother's bed. She'd had a stroke only days before Christmas.

This weekend, I go home for Christmas again. This year, it might even be an enjoyable Christmas. It's been so long since I've been in the Christmas spirit, I don't know if it will be. I hope so.

Generic Joe's A Typical Male