Bliss (bliss) n. 1 supreme happiness. 2.heaven; paradise.

-Webster's American Dictionary

"The Smashing Pumpkins are playing to a sold out crowd tonight at 8:00pm." As the radio dj states this, after playing the aforementioned band, we make our way to tonight's show. We drive through the ghettos of south Phoenix to reach The Celebrity Theater. Decked out in my Infinite Sadness Tour t-shirt, from the last time they were here. I turn into the parking lot and pay five bucks to park. It's 5:00pm but there's already five hundred people there, waiting, talking or just hanging out.

I make my way to the crowd of people lined up by the tour buses. I hear girls screaming and as I look over I manage to see what the commotion is all about. No more than five feet away from me is William Patrick Corgan, all 6'3" of him, wearing black pants, and a tight black shirt with a fisherman's cap on. His grey eyes look tired, but he smirks his crooked smile at all of us. This moment seems so surreal, as if it were a dream. Even now, it sounds like fantasy to me. I get up to the line, he's almost there. I reach my, star-struck hand and he reaches for it. This moment is forever freeze framed in the movie of my life. There I was, shaking hands with my idol, meeting eye to eye (even though he's five inches taller than me) with the man himself; the hardest working white man in Showbusiness, Mr. Billy Corgan. All I could repeat to myself "Oh my God, I just shook hands with Billy Corgan, OH MY GOD! I just shook hands with Billy Corgan . He has the largest and smoothest hands of any one I've ever shakened hands with. I would confuse them as feminine if it weren't for their sheer size and the fact that not even girls have hands that soft.

I smile and think that is about as close to an orgasm (Corgasm?) as I've ever come (no pun intented) with another guy. Off to the side we see Jimmy Chamberlain, wearing a jacket as yellow as his cropped hair. I yell, "Jimmy!" he looks up from his conversation waves to us and gives us a peace sign. After my trip to rock-land, I return to reality and make my way to one the lines. I go downstairs and wait with about 20 other people. About a half hour later, they tell the top line, with about 100 that downstairs is going to open first. We are innundated with those who want to cut in line. Eventually, they let us inside the Celebrity Club-which does not mean we have access to the floor. A thousand people all lined up, bodies heating up and I realize that many of my fellow fans need to buy deodorant instead of concert tickets. The small hall is packed, we feel like sardines, except the smell isn't as pleasant. Beads of sweat gather on my forehead and trickle down like a melting icycle. It's 6:30pm, on the verge of passing out from both heat and smell, I feel a tap on my shoulder, I turn around to see who it is and to my surprise it's my buddy Notah from PARC Place. We chat about my meeting with the illustrious one and then continue our wait. As 7:00pm rolls around, the natives start to get restless. At 7:10 the doors finally open.

The crowd rushed reminiscent of a stampede of wildebeasts I push and shove my way as I run up and down the stairs inside The Celebrity Theater. I feel sorry for those who aren't at least 5'7" and 130lbs, the females in front never had a chance. Jumping over steps and bumping into strangers as I secure our seats. Five rows from center stage, no more than 10 feet from the mics.

After a very expensive shirt and drinks($4.50 for beer?) we wait, impatiently as The Queens of the Stone Age(?) open the night. They're an ok, bar band, but too loud and untalented to actually be enjoyable. They lack charisma, skill, looks, (their keyboard player looked like Heavy D) and other "rock star" qualities. The crowd was into it, at first probably out of sheer excitement to see the Pumpkins in such a small venue, but everyone pretty soon sat down and just waited for them to finish unknown song after unknown song.

Finally they stopped playing, the house lights came back on and everyone waited in anticipation as the stage was being set up. A half-hour later, the lights went out, the screams started and the band got onstage. The familiar thumps of I am One began the show. When the bass kicked in, a light shined on D'arcy as she followed suit with the rhythm. Billy crouching as his guitar begins the notes in soul wrenching distortion. The stage bursts with lights, the audience pogo-sticks as we sing a long ...try to find messiah in your trinity...". The crowd pleaser Zero follows. Everyone there knows the lyrics by heart which makes Billy proud.
At the end, the thanks the crowd and states: It's great to be back...in the desert, the audience roars in approval. James comments how the semi-circle arena makes him feel like he's: "jellyfish in bowl." The songs the follow are Pug and La Dolly Vita "cool as ice cream" indeed.
Billy takes the time to introduce their "new" drummer Jimmy, welcoming back their departed bandmate who is wearing a black tank top. Jimmy waves to the crowd as he stands behind his huge white and chrome drum-set with the shield on the bass drum reading JC.

D'arcy sways on her hips back and forth like a bored Go-Go dancer or strung out stripper. She moves like a snake, doing 'the axl' from left to right as she plays her bass. D'arcy sports a new look: cowboy hat, red blouse with silver stars and jeans.

Billy, as always stood out, wearing a black double breasted suit-top, black skirt and knee high, black Doc Marten's. Billy looked more like a demented school girl undergoing chemotherapy than a rock star. That all changed as soon as he started playing. Gripping the guitar, vertically as he played with the same hands I shook no more than 4 hours earlier. Billy displays his playfullness by throwing his pick in the air, and catching it with the same hand behind his back.

James as always, was the quiet one, gazing at his shoes more than acknowledging the crowd. Wearing a silver on black emsemble accented only by the glitter in his shirt and the color of his ever changing guitars.
The band debuts new songs of rhythmic insistence and aural aggression including Car Cash Star. In between takes the singer uses a towel to wipe the sweat gleaming from his dome.
The lights lower and the disco ball begins to spin as the lush and spacey, Soma comes on. I think I'm going to cry, that is my favorite Pumpkins song of all time! Billy attacks the guitar solo with cathartic abandon. Everyone in the house screams with him "...God sleeps in Bliss." Billy has a talent for forging songs that capture the exquisite longing. Music that examines desire instead of just declaring it. How I love that song. Actually, LOVE isn't strong enough, those four words are not enough to capture the emotion held in my soul for that song. The shades of between heartache and rage, love and loss captured in a melody. Billy requests that the audience indulge him on one more new song, the ballad Speed Kills.

The crowd screams for an encore and holds up Starla signs that were given by a fan before the show because *it* has not been played live in over four years. The Pumpkins return but before the encore James comes out and states in an exagerated Asian accent, "Your sun is too bright! it burns my eyes! So we must stay here and ROCK!" returning to his normal voice he declares "This is a song from our album Ten, it's called Jeremy." The crowd laughs as Billy plays the opening notes to Alive. James follows by playing the chords to Smells like Teen Spirit and Billy does the same, the crowd cheers and jumps up and down, but to no avail, it was a joke. As was the next "song" which was the opening to Hole's Celebrity Skin, Billy asks James, "how does that go? oh yeah, when i wake up, in my make-up..."
The Pumpkins then play Muzzle and afterwards mention that is Yelena's (Mrs. Corgan's) birthday, he tells her to stand but she refuses a fan named Monty states it's his birthday in 2 hours so Billy tells him to stand on a platform and the audience sings "Happy birthday, MontyandYelena, Happy birthday to you". They segue into If there is a God, and a song, that as James put it, was "mixed by Garbage's own Shirley Manson", Geek USA. Ava Adore follows, the crowd roars in approvement and sings along. Billy's voice is complemented by the screams of the crowd and the crunch of his guitar. He points to Yelena as he screams "in you I chase stars." Indeed, the house howls, "*we* must never be apart". They leave the stage but get rushed back to the stage one more time to close the show with the crowd pleasing 1979. Billy thanks the crowd by applauding at us and saying "Thank You's." Throwing picks to lucky fans and smiling as he waved peace signs into the air.

The house lights come on, I buy the limited edition Poster for an outragous 15 dollars and wait by the big-rigs and tour buses to see if anyone from the band will come, maybe sign it. We see Billy but he doesn't come, he's talking to Calico Cooper, my brother's acquaintance and Alice's daughter. It's now 11:30pm and we leave feeling tired and flustered, redfaced, hair tousled, panting for breath, and a little bruised, almost satisfied, almost post-coital. Swimming in pure bliss.