A day shy of my twenty-tenth birthday, I’m driving my soda-can on wheels, it’s lack of window tinting not adding to the charm of this piece of crap rental. My Jetta with the VNV Nation sticker is still at the shop from my tire explosion. It’s 2:30pm and I’m heading to Tempe, the sun is beating down this little Kia as I pull into the parking lot of Stinkweeds.
I’m waiting for Renzy who follows close behind in the minivan. We’re here early for the VNV meet and greet. The Gothic idols of the ‘scene’ are coming to sign autographs before tonight’s show. We walk inside the store to escape the heat and wait with the few others who made the journey. About ten min before 3, the two performers walk in. Ronan Harris, small and stocky, red from the heat starts to shake hands as does the towering Mark Jackson. Both wearing the trademark uniforms, button short sleeve shirts emblazoned with VNV patches, long black shorts and rivet boots.
Fans gasp “Oh my God, that’s VNV!”
They sit down and graciously sign autographs and take pictures with fans. After this is done, Mark goes to look through cd’s while Ronan goes outside to smoke, which prompts Renzy to do the same. While we’re out there, we start conversing with him about the heat, and his music. In his slight Irish accent, Ronan tells us how big Marquee is from inside and that VNV is a ‘scene’ band and not Depeche Mode, in a show of surprising humility.
I tell him I’m going to see them again twice in New York City and ask him if he is going to play Saviour, “Maybe” he tells me but he assures me all the double-night bills will have “surprises”. That keeps me satisfied (for now.) He doesn’t divulge the contents of the set list, but he does say they start out with Chrome. Renzy asks if they’re going to do Beloved because it’s her favorite. “If we don’t play Beloved we’ll get lynched” he tells us.
Around that time Mark comes walking out, all 6’6” of him, and we’re all there. I try to take a mental picture of it in my mind, so I can remember this exact moment when I’m on my deathbed. Just us talking to VNV Nation. I’m surprised by how humble and down to earth they are. Afterall, they’re Goth/Industrial royalty for Goth’s sake! in a seen as full of self-righteous freaks amongst freaks, as ours, arrogance is almost a requisite. I tell him how excited I am about tonight’s show and he reassures me it will be a good time. Kimber Lanning from Stinkweeds comes out and asks if they want her to take them back to the Marquee. Sure, they say, we shake hands again and I ask them to pose for one more picture. They do so graciously. “That picture will be a rarity”, Ronan states as he points to the ice water in his bandmate’s hand “to see Mark without alcohol.” We shake hands again and wave goodbye.
Renzy and I go back to my car reminding ourselves how we were just chatting with VNV Nation. Starstruck and in post-orgasmic bliss I take her back to my place.

Forward 4 hrs later.
I’m waiting in line, for the second time because the asshole-security wouldn’t allow my camera inside because it wasn’t ‘disposable’. I enter the lobby filled with everything from curious babybats to Elder-Goths. The crowd looks anxious and no one can blame them. As I head to the patio, a lot of familiar faces I’ve seen at Anderson’s walk past. I find Renzy who is talking to a tall N.Scottsdale gayboy. I make small talk and we chat about music and tells me he wants to hear Kingdom.
Inside, Soman plays, it’s the first time I’ve heard of him and his style is more ravey-industria-light, high BPM music. We don’t last long and head back to the lobby to get some drinks. The thing about Marquee is the high drink prices, however, you do get your money’s worth in alcoholic content. We head to the patio to wait and cure her nicotine fix.
Imperative Reaction is playing their set. I like some of their music but seeing an industrial band play ‘live’ is different than dancing to them at a club. Not as fun, the singer doesn’t move much, another guy playing an electronic drum set and someone with a Mac Powerbook and a keyboard creating most of the music, until the laptop gets disconnected and the music stops. Something the singer professes is one of the dangers of being an industrial band. We walk in and out of their set to the patio.
In between set changes, Renee starts whining about being hungry. She doesn’t have any cash, so I give her enough to get a $2 turkey-dog. We don’t wait too long outside so we can get good standing room.
At 9:50pm, the lights dim and the audience screams. Silhouettes move across the stage as drums crash to the opening of Chrome. The music begins and Ronan introduces himself. He spots some kids trying to start a mosh and tells them if they start moshing the band will stop playing. Advising those who like to mosh go see a Korn concert. The kids settle down and the show continues.
Joy follows in all it’s old school machine-like glory going back to their first cd. The audience moves to the rants of this Celtic shaman as he asks “why do I love, when I should feel pain?”
Dark Angel comes next delivering the beauty that is Empires in every moment reminding us that ”doubting angels fall, to walk amongst the living.”
Arena, one of the new songs follows. Filled will with positive notes and messages “brighter than all the stars combined, more than all the waters, earth and sky all that I wish and all that I dream.”
Epicentre, the song that made me a VNV fan, oh how I love thee. By the looks of the ecstatic crowd, I’m not the only one. The audience jumps, claps and sings along to this goth club staple.
After that rousing number, VNV follows with the darkest and heaviest song from Matter+Form: Entropy “When does enough become enough? When does ‘no’ have meaning.”
Ronan regales the crowd with a story about a radio appearance they did in Chicago when the station was freaking out trying to find a German interpreter, for the band. “The last time I checked” he tells us “Dublin was not part of Germany.” He introduces the new live additions to the band as mini-European Union with a Norwegian, a German and Englishman and Irishman.
He begins the opening to Legion Anachron style, with a slower tempo before going into the original version. Arms clapping to the beat, as he ponders:“and what will happen? Will I dream? I am too scared to close my eyes…”
Ronan proclaims how wonderful that there’s a lot more people this time around than the last time they were in Phoenix. Claiming how great it is to see all of us while asking for the house lights to be turned on so we could see ‘ourselves’. To this shared moment he dedicates the ironically titled Standing. He demands the crowd move and sing along to the music, as we clap to the beat. Focused energy as one, we readily comply. ”In fighting time, so hard I pray, that this moment last forever, and will the world stay standing still at least for us?” Everyone singing and moving to the beat in unison. It was definitely one of the best performances of the night.
The trifecta of Empires era music comes to an end with Kingdom. Renzy’s gay friend jumps from excitement as the song begins.
VNV introduces Honour as their anthem inviting everyone to sing and move to the marching beats as he moves from end to end of the stage.
“Stand your ground this is what we are fighting for, for our spirit and laws and ways. Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war for heaven or hell, we shall not wait. Shall I think of honour as lies, or lament is aged and slow demise? Shall I stand as a total stranger on this day in this stone chamber?”
The song ends and the band leaves the stage to make us beg for an encore. After a few minutes the clamor of the crowd brings the band back.
Cheerfully and wholeheartedly the audience screams. Ronan thanks the crowd for participating. Solitary begins “And if rain brings winds of change, let it rain on us forever”
Homeward, Ronan introduces this next song by how much fun they’ve had playing it on this tour, stating it will probably be their next single. When the song finishes the bands leaves the stage again.
Only Ronan and Mark come back out this time. Telling us how they thought no one would like this song, but now, if they don’t play it, the crowd would probably throw rocks at the tour bus: the EBM ballad, Beloved in all its heartbreaking beauty. Near the end of the song Ronan stops, something they do only ”when the crowd is feeling it” and asks the crowd to clear our throats so we could help him sing the last chorus: “moments lost though time remains, I am still proud of what we were, no pain remains, no feeling, eternity awaits. Grant me wings that I might fly, my restless soul is long, no pain remains no feeling, eternity awaits.” All of cheer as VNV thanks us promising we will see them again.

The two members go to their respective keyboards and start the drum-heavy Electronaut as video screens flash the neo-futuristic images that are their trademark.

The show ends, and we make our way out with tired legs and a sore throat, the way all concerts should end.