by Chance
for Hank... coz we love ya.
Somewhere
a dreamer hides
behind others needs
Reaching for a silent voice
Listening to everyone
but his heart
What a strong mind
this man has
There are times
he ignores the voice
that is calling
He believes in nothing new
Tasted too many fruits already
What should this beautiful man do
Let the gray fade to black
Close his mind
for a short while
Listen to the love of his life
Risk a broken heart
Touch a lonely soul
Find a hand to hold
There is a reason to believe
Let the tears of the past
Wash away
the pain of the past
Become a faded memory
Let your life
listen to the dreamer
For he believes
in what the mind can't
Somewhere
someone
is waiting to hold your hand
Let him believe in you
Beautiful man of a thousand dreams
Deep beneath the surface of the water
Your silent voice will learn to say
"I love you sweetest soul I have known."
Falling away
like leaves against the grey
Snow is beginning to have its way
Cool winds whisper sweetly
Shadows release early nightfall
Then darkness fills my needs
Time passes over me
I have forgotten how to believe
Winter sets into my soul
Walking in the cold burns me
The Guardian Angel becomes a messenger
Dark Angel please forgive me
Hell was not kind to me
I lived this life that way
Surely heaven in the next is not too much
I waited too long for God to pick me up
Did you see me when I was in pain
Did you see me when I cried
Did you see me when I screamed for a loving Father
Did you hear a child in prayer
Small tears and an empty heart
How did I end up here
Leaving nothing
but a sweet rage
Life swept me down
My friends surround me
These friends
are so true
My dear friends
despair and loneliness
Dark arms pull me
to pure emptiness
Took a memo
to cancel life
Life was too busy
Walking away is a choice
Consequences haunt me every day
The one I love suffers for me
How much does happiness pay
Not nearly as much as he gets
Foul clouds
shadow me
Mirrors reflect
an emptiness
Little boys don't forget
like a pearl
that glistens in the sea
Your grain of sand
turned into love for me
Across the world
you came for me
You built
a safe place for me
You walked up to me
Took me to forever
Eternity
never felt so good
Working to build
love for me
Protection and honesty
Purity surrounds me
Carefully you took my hand
Lifted me into your arms
Kissed me with gentleness
When the world was raping me
I felt your beautiful hand
Filling me
with a grain of sand
Creating a path home for the lost
Following your footprints
is my mystery
I love this path called us
past wiped away by future
what happened in between
was life
Feeling all alone
Looking through rain
It burns so bad
Tears and Rain
Coming down a path familiar
Feels a smile hide behind the pain
There is a dark cloud
over this child inside of me
He looks forever
to the sky
Walking lost
in a sea of boys
that just want to be men
Our Army of misfits
Lost and Lonely
Why does it have to feel so bad
How many broken hearts
inside one boy
The sky lights up
for what is missing
Shooting stars
and falling moonbeams
Light my darkness
Paths take me
where I cannot go
Guiding love
will find me
hiding from the pain
A safe hand
carries my small hope
Fingers entertwine with mine
Pulling me outside myself
This means the world to me
Lost boy's soul
lives to be the poet
Poets dreams do come true
Just you wait and see
Hiding behind a smile
Coming inside
from the cold
Warm air seizes me
Backing away from the bed
I can't be here forever
Can't hide from the feeling
Trusting others
is locked away inside
Locked out alone
Being here till time is gone
Seduced
by my best friends clone
I believe
that tonight is dark
This house is better
than the cold
Someday
it will be somebody else crying
It's a shame
to hide in safety
Everyone should break free
Walk towards the light
of my life
Come back in from the cold
before you die
Love is the only thing worth taking home
Stepping away
from the years
that left me alone
Backing away
from here to eternity
I would never want to hide it
I will sleep
in safety
for a little while longer
Soon enough
I will be locked out
on my own
we all need to believe in something
better than what we see in life.
seems like life drags most of us down
from the moment when we are perfect
each day brings us closer to hope
Making ourselves at home
In a world that is silent on guidance
Tender love prepares the way for us
Rules rob us of our innocence
Perfect world we came from
Into ignorance we are delivered
Made to walk beside pain and misery
Soon enough
we understand
I only just found the sea before me
Your gracious arms opened
I remembered what it was like before
Before the world tore into me
Before I was abandoned
You see, hope was there
Long forgotten by me
A hungry soul has been filled
Fragile touch to my heart
Wrap your arms around me
Protect me, perfect love
By way of your sweet spirit
You freely shared your dreams
Giving me a reason to believe
for Steven
If everyone could look inside
Then they would understand
A sweet soul
is made to be broken
Every plan has a beginning
Weaving my way
through this thing called life
Loving all that I found broken
Mending paths
when others would have turned
I just want people
to see me for who I am
Look inside
and see the prince you let slip by
Little I can do except love
More of me
than you can begin to imagine
Worlds most will never begin to touch
So much to explore
Here and beyond
Flesh and Bone sometimes
But oh, when I can fly
Places better
than still loving whats gone
Beautiful
embraces me in dreams
Weaves my mind to sleep
For if only I could see inside of me
I could know what others love
My sweet angel loves me you see
Giving of myself
on and on it seems
Life will carry me to my destiny
As it carries each and everyone
But God, Thank You for Lucy
the day I died I cried
It felt
like ice
melting inside
I hate life
Almost as much
as I hate me
Sing my failures
Fills a life
Hey baby
just some more strife
I felt slightly loved
Loved stripped away
from the flesh
Flesh stripped away
from desire
desire stripped away
from hope
hope hiding
in wait of the battle
I know you had to go
I don't see
the future anymore
Never believe
the lies of bright hope
I lost me inside of the search
Again this pain faces me
I just see
what I said
all over my life
I discovered
I couldn't die
I feel the chains
of my life
Take this life please
I want to sing a song
about my blues
But you know,
that heartache
just eats away
at my luck
I find myself
walking all alone
under dark skies
The rain is falling
all around my slippery shoes
I keep walking
towards the fire
in the night
Flames leaping
towards heavens gate
Could it be
Satan has come for me
I think I deserve to die
Why oh Why
can't I see the sunny skies
I feel the memories
flood my tears
Years and Years
I couldn't dance
I need faith
in love you see
So many lies told me so
I believed in being
everything the world told me to
I Tried and Tried
to be the perfect son
I am seeing my life
and I wish
I had died
Died
before I let the world
slip away
I had a sacred goal
but lost it along the way
I forgot how to play
I stood in the street
and screamed
The person I admired the most
betrayed my soul
I see that Hell
will be a friend to me
Heaven's tears
cleanse my loneliness
I need to hitch a ride
with an Angel
carrying a message of hope
Stay around
and make me love you
So many stolen lives
and all I want is one
Save me from myself
before I lose the mystery
Love Waits
Pacing the halls
From where no man returns
He waits for something lost
Lonely little boys soul
Long ago we believed
Now I am born
To wonder why
Would this world abandon me
Just passing us by
Believing Love waits
The man kissed my soul
Never even turned my back
A simple twist of fate
Slipped through the hands
There went my life
Watching it from the corner
Slipping away
That's how easy
Love comes and goes
Feeling all alone again
Hoping wrong would right
Never believing in the end
I am certain of his light
When feeling most alone
The soul talks to the heart
Keeping the hope alive
Proving faith to me
Love waits patiently
I forgot to prepare my heart
The cold here without you is unbearable
Vaguely the warmth from your love kindles memories
There is too much I want to say
I forgot how the ice freezes my love
I grieve for me
I need you so
and the cold overtakes
Warmer days in June I recall
Times alone with the sun on my bronze chest
reflecting youth like a Roman Soldiers Armor
I believed the protection would last forever
Fields of green waves rolled over me
I should have said I loved you more
How easy to forget
that Winter returns each year
Inside my mind the blustery wind now blows
Confusion reins where chaos rules
So little time to make my peace
Summer seemed like yesterday
Hell's Rain
beauty lost on myself
so it goes with the waves
Pulling my summer's innocense away
Faded poetry in a childs mind
playing with fairies
at the bottom of the garden
The words we never said
haunted the dusky dawn
And so it goes,
the memory of the pain
fades away
crashing to the earth
There can be no use
in remembering the way home
when home isn't safe to play
This is where my tears
fall like the rain
from the leaves lost
Moonlight is fading
through the windows
by my bed
I can feel the pillow against my head
Presses wrinkles in my soul
like I am falling
on a bed of words
that were never said
I can feel the sun spinning
as the moon fades away
Alone at last
I run inside myself
Bury me away
from a world around us
that disappears
I am looking
for a reason to hope
The shore is distant
and comfort isn't near
There is too much to say
and he walked away
I forgot to tell you
that I love you
But the little boy couldn't hear
He could not find his way
to someone safe
Protecting himself
he went on a journey
into the recesses of his mind
Beautiful colors lived there
and he found a new home
from which to play
Finger Painting in my mind
I am cold when he goes away
The boy protects me from hell's rain
I need him so
"I watched the boy
playing in hell's rain,
I could not ask for more
when I saw
what he had been through.
He took me to the edge
and I didn't want to go in.
Even Romeo died in Juliets Arms
Everything I have ever
touched with Love
Touched me back
but without Love
I have known so much pain
in this short life
What you brought to me
no man can claim
You brought me out of hell
You walked
beside a desperate soul
You carried me in your heart
The safest place I have ever known
When I feel I can not forstall
the sense of urgency
The fear of its ultimate loss
Some days I begin to slip away
Always finding my way home
From the only man that ever
touched me with Love
I could not go away without you
Your my reason for knowing
Knowing all
that God had forbidden before
Love seemed so distant
We can live forever now
Because love never dies
by Chance
I feel light
I remember the light
most of all I remember feeling it
It was a light that penetrated my
soul
10,000 candles could not compare
Love in the form
of warm embracing light
Making pure all it embraced in His
name
Cleansing away a thousand years
of pain
For the Lord God knows my name
Yet he still loved me
after seeing inside me with his light
He forgave that
which I thought was unforgiveable
Spared the shame
when laid pure in his light
All who seek true love in His name
are holy
Sacrafice my sin
as if it was thy lamb
Intern my body to thy temple
I can rest in peace
Knowing I can return home to thy
light
Know this my Lord God
I am not afraid to sin boldly
My last breath will be to cherish
Having been granted your Grace
to live amongst earthly angels
Amen
words by Chance
The boy asked for a gift
This Christmas
he wanted a miracle
He saw green forest trees
trimmed with lights
All this
in an enchanted foreign land
Suddenly all went white
The green was icy cold
The lights were dim reflections
The evil one
had followed the boy
Like a wolf
that hunts its prey
Wishing to rip his heart
from his chest
Fangs spread with dark blood
The boy sees the hole upon his chest
His heart still beating
He feels his veins
turn to blue ice
Desperately seeking help
with outstretched hands
His skin goes ashen white
The evil one has taken his prize
This was his to claim
since the virgin first sinned
Darkness in a cold place
now surrounds this child
Sapphire Blue Eyes
turned Opaque Grey
Soft Red Lips
made of Rubber
Playful hands made stiff
I only wanted a miracle
Now I feel
soft crushed velvet folds on my face
someone's wet tears
are running down my face
My voice won't open
and yet I can hear
I suppose a Miracle
only happens for Angels
Not for little boys lost in sin
No one to cry
No one to clear the dark sky
Tonight is the last time he can be a boy
Playing innocence has gone
Replaced with the silence of a man
He holds back his own joy
Steadies for the harshness
of the coming dawn
Knowing full well
his better days were
like seeds in the wind
Drifting here and there
Landing on the lakes of time
No one to recover
those he left behind
by choice
Somewhere in time
there is a place
A place for him to find
what he intended to become
Perhaps this place
is unreachable
His mind has felt so
for as long as he can remember
Almost forgotten
What he searches for
No man can give him
this time and place
Only destiny remains
Waiting to unfold
Long his story has been untold
Now is the time
Forever cannot be
His time and place
Are with me
It was there waiting
Waiting to be loved
We are forever one
in what we have become
Pain makes me bleed
I show the truth in the cut
See my wish flow from my soul
Freedom is not from the mind
I would raise up my hand to the skies
Seeking lightning
Take my love to its return
Inside my shared self
lives a coldness
I wish for only hope
the life so many have
Impossible for my Angel Soul to Find
Flying far too long
Knowing I will die
In my flight
Its a beauty for those that watch
A hell for me
I keep my fight lightly
Beautiful Darkness
Surrounds me now
God gives me courage
to walk with you
in a time I am past
I am seeking my future
In a life that is burning
with the fires of Hell
and the demons of my childhood lullabyes
I seek the kisses on the grave
Let me lay down
and sleep the peaceful hours away
I wish for just one lifetime
More or Less
You alone can make my sorrow take flight
There are people
that live their whole lives
Believing they have the perfect family
Never Realizing
how easy it was
Because life made it simple for them
Just taking for granted
the gift of family love
Sheltered by its simplicity
God put me in this place
with a hole in my soul
I thought he was punishing me
Little did I know
He would use that hole
to fill my soul
Because he took that missing part of me
Protecting something precious
from destruction
All the while
thinking I was lost
Little did I know
My Guardian Angel
was watching over me
Helping me to find my way home to you
Everyone should be
so lucky as me
With all the people in the world
You choose me
to be your family
