DISCLAIMER AND AUTHOR'S NOTE: All Buffy The Vampire Slayer stuff belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Warner Brothers. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fiction. All other characters that appear belong to me. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies may be made for private use only and must include this copyright notice and disclaimer. There is some subtext in this story. If this kind of stuff is not legal where you live, if you're under 18 or if you don't like the notion of two women being in love, then you should find something else to read.

Doctor, Heal Yourself
By Kristjan Brezovnik

After killing a tough demon, who seemed to have already encountered a Slayer, Buffy was tired. She moved slowly, trying to rest while walking. She went into the direction from where the demon had come, hoping to find the reason the demon was already beaten up. Not that she was complaining, oh no, it was definitely a good thing that the demon was wounded or she would've been in some serious trouble. Her wondering about who or what had managed to wound the demon was soon interrupted when she found the reason. Faith.

Buffy carefully approached the fellow Slayer, wary of a trap. But Faith didn't move. Well, she did, but apparently not to get up. In fact, she looked like she was hurt, badly. Buffy noticed that Faith was holding something in her right hand. It looked like a stake to her, but it could've been something else. Then she froze when Faith tried to kill herself with it. For a moment, she thought Faith had done it, but then she saw her move and she realized that Faith was still alive. She hurried to her and she reached her just in time to see Faith try to kill herself again. When she failed again, Buffy quickly took the stake away. Faith glanced at her and then quickly looked away.

Buffy stared at her for a few moments, wondering what was wrong with Faith since there wasn't much blood on her.

"What's wrong, Faith?" she asked.

Faith was quiet for a few moments.

"I can't move," she then said quietly.

"Hold on, I'll call 911," Buffy said and quickly ran away.

"No," Faith said, but Buffy was already gone.

Faith closed her eyes and wished she was dead.

After she called 911, Buffy returned to Faith and waited with her. When the ambulance arrived, she drove with her to the hospital. There, she waited for the doctors to finish examining Faith.

"How is she?" she asked when she saw the last doctor out.

"Are you family?" he asked.

Buffy hesitated for a moment.

"I'm a friend," she said. "I called 911," she quickly added.

"I see," the doctor said. He hesitated for a moment. "She may never walk again," he then said.

Buffy nearly dropped her jaw.

"Oh," she said as the doctor left.

She was surprised that it shocked her so much. Sure, Faith was an enemy, but she was also a Slayer, her partner, and in spite of all the bad things, Buffy realized that she still felt something for Faith. She sighed and looked into the room. The nurses were still fussing over Faith, so Buffy sat down and waited for the nurses to move Faith to a new room.

When the nurses finally left, Faith was alone. Her whole body still hurt, but not as much as before. As a matter of fact, she couldn't feel most of it, she couldn't move anything but her head and her right arm and even that just barely. She was now completely worthless and she couldn't even kill herself. And just when she thought things couldn't get any worse, Buffy walked in. She sighed.

"Hey," Buffy said as she approached her.

"What do you want?" Faith asked. "Come to gloat?"

"No," Buffy said, a bit put off by the hostility in Faith's voice. "I came to see how you are."

"It's pretty obvious," Faith said bitterly.

"I killed that demon."

Faith stared at Buffy for a few moments and then looked away.

"Whatever."

Buffy sighed.

"Look…"

Faith looked at her.

"Just leave, B," she said.

"But…"

"Get the fuck out of here."

Buffy stared at Faith, shocked.

"Faith."

"Get lost, B."

Buffy stared at her for a few moments longer and then left, wondering what she should do. She decided to call Giles and tell him about Faith's condition.

"Faith! How are you?" the Mayor said when he came to see Faith.

Faith gulped.

"Hi, Boss."

"How are you?"

Faith stifled a sob.

"The doctor said I may never walk again." She hesitated for a moment. "I can't move."

"Don't worry, Faith, I'll find a cure," he said and caressed her. "Who did this to you? I'll make sure they pay for it."

"Some demon. Buffy killed it

"I see."

Faith took a deep breath.

"I haven't killed that professor yet."

"Don't worry, I'll send someone else. You just lie here and rest, I'll take care of the rest," he said and Faith sobbed. "Now, now, don't you cry, you're a big girl. You're a Slayer, you'll walk again, you'll see. I promise I'll find a way to help you walk again."

Faith took a deep breath and nodded.

"Thanks."

The Mayor caressed her again.

"Here, a tissue," he then said and gave her a tissue.

Faith smiled a little.

"Thanks."

"Now rest and listen to the doctors. I'll be back tomorrow."

Faith sniffed.

"Thanks."

The Mayor smiled.

"Good night, Faith."

"Night," Faith said and wiped her nose.

After phoning Giles, Buffy decided to talk to Faith again, but the Mayor beat her to it. She sneaked up to the door and listened to their conversation. She was totally surprised by the interaction between Faith and the Mayor. It was almost like… like family. Like father and daughter. She felt hurt and it confused her for a moment, but then she realized that she was jealous that Faith had opened up to the Mayor and not to her. And now she'll have to kill the Mayor and take away the only person Faith had opened up to. She sighed, knowing that she had to.

Then she remembered that Faith was supposed to kill someone. She was shocked. Faith was now an assassin? It made her want to cry, but she managed to control herself. But perhaps she could get her to tell her the name of the professor. She took a deep breath and entered.

She noticed Faith quickly hide the tissue and she pretended she didn't see it.

"Who did he want you to kill?" she got straight to the point when Faith opened her mouth to say something.

Faith's eyes went wide, but then she looked away.

Buffy went closer and grabbed her chin, making her look at her.

"Who, Faith?" She sighed. "You're a Slayer, Faith, not a murderer for hire." She thought for a moment. "I know you're not evil, Faith, and I know you consider the Mayor the father you never had, but this is wrong, Faith. You couldn't stop evil before, but now you can. Please, help me, tell me the name of that professor."

Faith stared at her for a few moments, and Buffy almost gave up.

"Wirth," she finally said quietly.

Buffy stared at her for a moment, surprised.

"Thank you," she said and smiled softly.

She left, and Faith realized she had just betrayed the Mayor.

The next day, Buffy returned to Faith.

"Hey," she said, but Faith just looked away. "We saved the professor," Buffy continued. "Thank you," she added and Faith looked at her.

"Just leave me alone, okay?" she finally said.

"Faith, I want to help you."

"I don't need your help."

"But…"

"I got the Mayor. Now go."

Buffy stared at her for a few moments. Then she sighed and left, wondering how to get to Faith.

When the graduation business was over and the Mayor spread all over the blown up school, Buffy went to Faith again. But when she got to her room, there was no one there. She went to the reception desk.

"The girl in that room," she said, pointing, "where is she?"

The nurse looked at the room and then checked the records.

"She has been released to the care of a private organization."

"What? When?"

"Not five minutes ago."

Buffy ran downstairs, having a bad feeling that the Council had taken Faith.

When she got outside, she looked around and noticed a black van. It was the only suspicious vehicle around, so she went toward it. Just then several men came out of the hospital with a stretcher on wheels and Buffy felt that Faith was on it. She ran toward them and then closer she got, the more clearly she felt it was Faith. She wondered why Faith wasn't screaming. She figured they must have drugged her.

"Hey!" she called and then men turned. Buffy got a clear view of the patient and saw that it was indeed Faith. "Leave her alone."

One of the men reached for some sort of gun and Buffy moved and quickly disarmed him. The other men joined the fight, but they were no match for a Slayer. When they were all down, Buffy grabbed the one who appeared to be their leader.

"I have news for you, you're fired. Tell your bosses that I'll be very angry if I see one of you again. Got it?"

The man nodded.

"Good. Now get out of here."

The men quickly scrambled and left. Buffy then looked at Faith and saw that Faith was looking at her.

"They didn't drug you?" she asked, puzzled.

"No."

Buffy frowned.

"Then why didn't you scream or something?"

"What for? I'm useless."

"But they were gonna kill you," Buffy said, upset.

"So? It's not like I haven't tried it myself."

Buffy stared at her for a few moments.

"But…"

"Look, the Mayor is dead."

"How do you know?" Buffy asked, surprised.

"You're here, aren't you?"

"Yes. Oh."

"Anyway, I have no one now and they would do us both a favor."

"What? No, you have me."

Faith snorted.

"Right."

"I mean that, Faith. I'll take care of you."

"No, thanks, B, I don't wanna be your charity case."

Buffy stared at Faith, lost as to what she should say.

"You're not," she said and sighed. "I'll go call Mom."

Buffy pulled the stretcher toward the closest pay phone and then called her mom. Then she quietly waited, thinking about how to help Faith.

"Buffy!" Joyce said when she got out of the car. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, Mom, I told you." She picked up Faith. "Open the door."

Joyce opened the back door, and Buffy put Faith inside.

"What happened?" Joyce asked.

"Some demon attacked her and now she can't walk. I killed the demon."

"Oh."

Buffy hesitated for a moment.

"The Council tried to kidnap her, but I beat them up. Can she stay with us until she can walk again?"

"Yes, of course," Joyce agreed.

Buffy smiled.

"Thanks, Mom," she said.

She sat beside Faith and buckled her seatbelt. Then she put her arm around her so Faith wouldn't tilt over.

"Okay, Mom," she said when she was ready.

After a couple of weeks of resting and of Willow reluctantly doing her healing magic, Faith finally felt that she could walk. The healing magic worked well, but Faith pretended that it didn't. Sure, she moved her hands and legs, but only so much that it satisfied Buffy. Then one day, when she felt that she could walk again, she slipped out of the house and left.

When Buffy came home, Joyce was already looking for Faith, worried.

"What's wrong, Mom?" she asked when she saw the worried look on her mom's face.

"Faith is gone."

"Gone?" Buffy said, puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"She's gone. She took her stuff and left."

"What? She couldn't even walk yet."

"Apparently she could."

"But why? And why did you let her?"

"I didn't. I had to go to the toilet and when I got out, she was gone."

"Where did she go?"

"I don't know."

Buffy thought for a moment.

"I have to talk to Giles," she said and left.

Faith didn't really care where she was going, she just needed to get away from Sunnydale. As far away as possible. So she wasn't really surprised when she realized she had come as far as Chicago. She stayed there for a couple of weeks and then decided to go to Canada.

As she walked down the streets of Toronto, she thought about her future. She had no one here, nobody knew her and she didn't know anyone. She had a clean slate to start from, the only thing that worried her was that the Council would send another team after her. And while that didn't really bother her when she couldn't move, now she wanted to live, she wanted to make something of herself, she wanted to prove herself, not to someone else but to herself.

"Kevin!"

Faith jerked and looked around. She saw a boy picking up a ball from the middle of a road and a Mack truck braking for all it was worth. She dropped her bag and moved. Before she knew it, she and the boy were safely on the other side of the road and the Mack truck was drawing tire marks over the spot where they had stood a few moments ago.

"Kevin!"

She looked and saw the boy's mother running across the road. She put him down and the mother scooped him up.

"Oh Kevin," she said, hugging him tightly, and caressed him, tears streaming down her cheeks. She looked at Faith. "Thank you."

Faith felt a bit uncomfortable at being thanked.

"Whatever," she said nervously and went to the other side of the road to pick up her bag.

She looked at mother and son and actually felt good about doing something, well, good. She took a deep breath and looked around. She needed to find herself a job, a serious job. Then she realized that would be a bit difficult as she was a dropout. She sighed, she hated school. She looked back at the boy and she realized that she wanted to do something to help people. Well, beside killing demons. She wondered how it would be if she became a doctor. She snorted at the idea. Not only did she hate hospitals, it took years of college to become one and she wasn't sure she was ready to go back to school. She sighed, wondering what to do. She finally decided to go to a hospital and take a look around, maybe it would help her make up her mind.

"Can I help you?"

Faith jerked and look at the owner of the voice. It was a doctor.

"No, I don't think so," she said and looked back at the children.

"Are you a relative?" the doctor continued.

Faith glanced at him.

"No."

"Then why are observing them?"

Faith gave him a longer look this time. She opened her mouth to tell him the truth, but then she realized she would sound ridiculous.

"It doesn't matter."

"It obviously matters to you," the doctor didn't give up. "You've been observing them for the past half hour."

Faith glanced at the clock and saw it was true. She sighed.

"Perhaps I can help you," the doctor offered.

Faith looked at him.

"And why should you?"

The doctor shrugged.

"I'm a doctor, it's what I do. It's what I chose to do. Though, of course, if you don't tell me what your problem is, I can't help you, can I?"

Faith studied the man for a few moments. He didn't leer over her or even try to check her rack. He seemed okay, emphasis on seemed. She sighed, deciding to give him a chance, and looked at the children again.

"I was thinking about becoming a doctor," she said quietly and braced herself for his laughter.

But it never came.

"Really?" the doctor said, clearly surprised.

"Yeah."

"You do realize that takes a lot of studying?"

Faith nodded.

"Yeah."

"And you're willing to put up with it?"

Faith thought for a moment and then glanced at the doctor.

"I don't know. Yet."

"And that's why you're here," the doctor guessed.

"Yeah."

The doctor looked at the children.

"I can probably get you a job here," he said after a few moments and Faith looked at him, surprised.

"What job?"

"As a helper. You can help the nurses."

Faith stared at him for a moment.

"Really?"

"If you want. That way you'll get more familiar with what we do here and you'll have a paying job."

Faith looked back at the children, thinking.

"Why?" she finally asked, looking back at the doctor.

"Why what?"

"Why are you helping me?"

The doctor smiled.

"I already told you. And besides, I have three children myself and if they ever find themselves in your position, I would wish someone would help them out."

"Oh." She looked at the children for a few moments and then back at the doctor. "Okay."

The doctor smiled.

"Good. Now, I have to finish my rounds and then we can go to my office and you tell me more about you."

Faith hesitated for a moment, unused to people helping her. She sighed.

"Okay."

"What's your name, anyway?"

"Faith."

"Faith what?"

Faith frowned. She didn't want to tell him her real name, she didn't want the Council to find out where she was. Giles came to mind, which was a no, then Summers, which was a maybe, then Wilkins, Finch and Wirth, but they were all a no. Which left her with Summers. Great. Not.

"Summers," she said.

"I'm Dr Jones," he said and offered her his hand.

Faith looked at it and after a moment of hesitation she shook it.

Several years later, Buffy anxiously walked through the streets of Toronto as she quickly approached the hospital in front of which Cordelia said she would find Faith. So many years and she still missed her. And now she would finally get a chance to help her again. She just hoped she wasn't too late.

Then she heard laughter as a couple of women approached the parking lot. Her senses told her that one of them was Faith. She started walking toward her and then Faith turned, surprised, and Buffy stopped. They stared at one another for a few moments and then Faith turned away and continued walking. Buffy was surprised and she ran after her. The group split and Faith went to her own car.

"Faith," Buffy said as she approached her, but Faith ignored her as she unlocked her car. "Faith," Buffy said and put her hand on her shoulder.

Faith gave her a cold look.

"Leave me alone, B," she said and got into the car.

"But, Faith…"

Faith ignored her and started the car. Buffy wanted to open the door, but Faith drove away, leaving Buffy alone and confused. She stood still for a few moments, realizing that she could hardly follow her. She looked at the hospital and wondered what Faith was doing there. She decided to come back the next day and find out. But first, she decided to patrol around the hospital for a while.

When Buffy got to the hospital the next day, she had no idea where to look for Faith. She wandered around the halls, hoping to feel her presence. She was about to go ask a reception nurse if she knew Faith, when she heard someone page Dr Summers to the ER. She frowned. Summers? Could it be some relative she didn't know about? She didn't know, but she decided to go find out since she couldn't find Faith.

When she got to the ER, her senses went off, telling her that Faith was near. Then she realized that Faith was in the ER and she became worried. She wanted to go in, but she knew she would only distract the doctors. So she found herself a seat and waited.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, but was in fact only ten minutes or so, of anxious waiting, she saw the nurses bring out the patient. The face was covered, which meant that the patient was dead. Buffy slowly approached them.

"Can… Can I see the body?" she asked, feeling her neck tighten.

"Are you family?"

"I think it may be a friend of mine."

The nurse uncovered the face and Buffy was relieved it was not Faith.

"It's not," she said and the nurse covered the face.

Then Buffy realized she still felt Faith. She looked around and saw the familiar brown hair. Buffy realized it was one of the doctors who had tried to save the boy. She frowned, surprised. Faith was a doctor? She wasn't sure, but she had to be, since she was obviously telling the parents of the deceased boy the bad news.

She waited for Faith to be alone. But when Faith turned after delivering the bad news, Buffy saw that she was on the verge of tears. She wondered why. She approached her, but Faith was so distracted she didn't even notice her. She slowly followed her.

When Faith entered a room, Buffy waited for a few moments and then slowly approached the door. She was surprised when she saw it was a chapel. She hesitated for a moment and then slowly opened the door. She couldn't see Faith anywhere, but she could feel her. She entered and closed the door. She looked around and finally noticed Faith behind a support pillar. And she could hear her sobs. She stared at her for a few moments and then approached her.

When Faith felt her, she quickly started wiping her tears, and Buffy quickened her pace, not wanting to let Faith put up the walls again. She kneeled down beside her and could see that Faith was embarrassed. She quickly hugged her and Faith instinctively hugged her back. Buffy then held her until Faith stopped sobbing.

When Faith finally stopped sobbing, Buffy slowly let go of her. Faith then wiped her tears, avoiding Buffy's eyes, and Buffy quietly observed her.

"What are you doing here?" Faith asked as she got up, still avoiding Buffy's eyes.

"I was looking for you."

"Why?"

"Because I missed you."

"Yeah, right."

"I did. I was so worried after you just disappeared."

"How did you find me?"

"Cordelia had a vision," Buffy said and Faith gave her a blank look. "She's a Seer. A long story. The point is, she got a vision concerning you, but she couldn't say what kind of danger you were in."

"I'm in no danger."

"I know."

Faith frowned.

"Then why are you here?"

"I told you, because I missed you. I think the Powers That Be sent Cordelia that vision so I would find you."

Faith snorted.

"Like I'm so important."

"You're a Slayer, Faith."

"So?"

Buffy sighed.

"Look…" Buffy started but Faith's beeper interrupted her.

Faith looked at the beeper.

"Gotta go," she said, got up and left.

Buffy sighed again and then followed her.

"Dr Summers!" a nurse called when they reached ER, and Buffy looked to see who she was calling.

She was surprised when she saw it was Faith. Faith was Dr Summers? Why? How? She stepped out of the way and watched Faith as she concentrated on a patient.

Faith examined the patient and started to determine the course of action, but she was distracted, by the death of the boy she had failed to save and by Buffy.

"Get Dr Martinez," she said.

"What?" one of the nurses asked.

"Get Dr Martinez. I'm still in shock."

"Yes, Doctor," the nurse said and quickly left.

When Buffy saw Faith come out not long after she had entered, she became worried, especially when she saw her face.

"Are you okay?" she asked when she came closer.

Faith glanced at her.

"Five by five."

"I don't think so."

"Then why are you asking?"

"Because I'm worried."

"Faith. Are you alright? I heard you called Martinez to replace you."

The Slayers looked at the speaker. It was Dr Jones.

"Yes," Faith said. She hesitated for a moment. "I… I'm still in shock over that kid I lost."

"Oh. Did you do everything you could?"

Faith sighed.

"Yeah."

"Then don't blame yourself. You can't save everyone."

"He's right," Buffy agreed.

"Are you her friend?" Dr Jones asked Buffy.

Buffy nodded.

"Yes," she said, and Faith looked at her.

"Then take her home and make sure she gets some rest." He looked at Faith. "You take a day or two off."

"But…" Faith started to protest.

"You need to, Faith. You've never taken a vacation and it's about time you did." He looked at Buffy. "You make sure she rests."

Buffy nodded.

"I will."

"Good," Dr Jones said and looked back at Faith. "I'll see you in a couple of days, Faith," he said and left.

"You heard the doctor," Buffy said and took Faith's hand. "I'm taking you home."

Faith sighed and led Buffy to her office, where she changed clothes.

"Dr Summers?" Buffy asked, having noticed the name on the door.

Faith sighed.

"Yeah." She didn't continue, but when she looked at Buffy, she saw her stare at her expectantly. She sighed. "I wanted to start over and I didn't want the Council to find me. There were a couple of surnames that came to mind, but yours was the least… unacceptable."

"Oh. Okay. I mean, wow, you're a doctor," Buffy said excitedly.

Faith glanced at her.

"Surprised?"

"Yeah."

"Didn't think I could make anything of myself."

Buffy's face became serious.

"That's not true."

"Yeah, right."

"It's not. Though I didn't expect you to become a doctor. Speaking of which, how did you become one?"

Faith sighed.

"I saved a kid from a Mack truck. I thought about what I wanted to become and being a doctor came to mind. I went to a hospital, here, in fact, and tried to figure out if I really wanted to become a doctor. I came across Dr Jones and he helped me."

"Oh." She smiled. "I'm glad."

Faith looked at her, surprised, but she didn't comment.

"I'm ready," she said instead.

"Okay."

"I can go home myself."

"Sorry, I promised Dr Jones. And besides, you're still in shock."

"I'm…" Faith started.

"In good hands," Buffy finished. "Now, come on, let's get you home," Buffy said and took her hand.

Faith wanted to object, but she just wasn't in the mood. She sighed and led Buffy to down to her car. She was aware of Buffy's hand in hers, but she made no move to break the contact. It was strange, holding Buffy's hand after so long. Not that she had ever done it before, at least not like this. She knew it wasn't romantic, but still, it was the closest she ever got to being romantic with Buffy. Well, except when she invited Buffy to the Prom and when Buffy invited her over to her house for Christmas. She frowned, annoyed that she still had feelings for Buffy after all this time.

"Keys," Buffy said when they got to Faith's car.

"What?" Faith said, startled.

"Car keys," Buffy said. "I'm driving."

"Oh." Faith rummaged around her purse. "What?" she asked when she saw Buffy smiling at her.

"Nothing. Just, you look so different from the… wild child that you used to be."

Faith looked away, embarrassed.

"Here," she said when she found the keys.

Buffy opened the door and got in. Faith got in on the other side and they fastened their seat belts.

"So, where to?" Buffy asked as she started the car.

Faith stared at her for a few moments.

"I hope you're driving skills have improved."

Buffy grinned.

"They have." She smiled sheepishly. "A bit. So, where to?"

Faith gave her instructions.

"I can get in from here," Faith said when they arrived to her place.

"I know," Buffy said. "I wanna see where you live. And I wanna make sure that you rest."

Faith stared at her for a few moments and then sighed, not really in the mood for a conversation.

"Whatever," she said and led the way.

When they entered Faith's apartment, Buffy looked around curiously. It looked nice, comfortable, but there was something missing. At first, she wasn't quite sure what, but then she realized that the apartment didn't feel like home. Sure, it was a place to stay, but it wasn't lived-in.

"Nice place you got," she said.

Faith looked at her.

"Yeah," she said, suddenly nervous about Buffy's presence. "Look, you really can go now. I'm gonna lie down now."

"I wanna stay," Buffy said. "I mean, I want to talk to you."

"I can call you when I wake up."

"I know, but…"

"You're afraid I'll run away," Faith guessed.

Buffy looked down for a moment, embarrassed.

"Yeah," she admitted. She looked back at Faith. "But I really want to talk to you, Faith. And it's not like I have things to do. I mean, I might as well get bored here instead of in the hotel. I'll watch TV or something."

Faith thought about it. She felt nervous about having Buffy in her apartment while she was sleeping, but then again, she had slept in Buffy's house and nothing had happened. She took a deep breath and nodded.

"Okay," she said, realizing she was nervous about talking to Buffy.

Buffy smiled and Faith felt her breath catch. She quickly turned away and headed for the bedroom. Buffy followed her and looked around the bedroom. When she saw that Faith was going to bed, she returned to the living room. She turned on the TV and pressed the mute button.

After a while, she went to check on Faith. When she saw she was asleep, she returned to the living room, took her cell phone and called Angel.

"Angel Investigations. We…"

"Angel, it's me," Buffy interrupted him.

"Hello, Buffy," Angel said.

"I found her."

"I know."

"She's a doctor."

There was a brief pause on the other side.

"Really?"

"Yes. And she goes by the name of Faith Summers."

There was another pause.

"Summers?"

"Yes. She said it was the least unacceptable."

"I see. Where is she now?"

"Home. I mean, in her apartment. She's resting. She lost a kid today."

"She lost a child?" Angel asked, alarmed.

"No, not her own. She failed to save a boy at the hospital and she's in shock."

"Oh."

"She has changed, Angel, I can feel it."

"That's good."

"Yeah. Tell Cordelia and the guys that she's okay. I'll let you know how our talk goes."

"Okay."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Buffy hung up and took a deep breath. So much was at stake and she hoped that all would end well. She got up and went to the bedroom door. She peeked inside and saw that Faith was already asleep. She stared at her for a while, thinking how beautiful she was and how innocent she looked in sleep, without her walls up. A tear finally ran down her cheek. She wiped it and returned to the living room.

After a while, Buffy thought she heard voices from Faith's bedroom. She got up and went to the door. She peaked in and saw that Faith was having a nightmare.

"No… Please, I didn't mean it… It was an accident… No… I didn't know. Please… He shouldn't have been there… Accident… No… No… I didn't mean…"

Buffy watched Faith as she was tossing and turning and talking in her sleep. It didn't take her long to figure out that Faith was dreaming about the night she had killed Allan Finch. And while they all knew that it was an accident, they had still blamed Faith. Sure, she had claimed that she didn't care, but apparently she did. Buffy hesitated for a moment and then slowly approached the bed. She hesitated again and then gently shook her.

Faith gasped, barely stifling a scream. Her eyes went wide when she saw Buffy and she scrambled to the other side of the bed. She fell off and huddled in the corner, hugging her knees and burying her head between her knees.

Buffy watched Faith's reaction, surprised. Then she slowly approached her and kneeled beside her. She put her hand on Faith's shoulder and noticed that Faith was trembling.

"Faith."

Faith didn't respond, so Buffy sat beside her and put her arm around Faith's shoulder. Faith tensed at first, but then she relaxed. Buffy leaned Faith's head on her shoulder and quietly held her. Faith finally cried herself to sleep again and Buffy held her.

When Faith finally woke up again, she was startled at first. Then she noticed that Buffy was holding her like she was a child.

"The fuck!" she said and quickly got up.

Buffy was startled for a moment, but then also got up.

"Hey. How do you…"

"What the fuck happened?" Faith interrupted her.

"Oh. You were having a nightmare and I woke you up. You were scared, so I held you. Then you fell asleep again."

Faith stared at Buffy for a few moments. Then she too a deep breath.

"I've rested. Could you leave now?"

Buffy sighed.

"No."

"Get out, B," Faith said, glaring at Buffy.

"I need to talk to you."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Oh yes, there is." She hesitated for a moment, gathering the courage to say what she should've said a long time ago. "I love you, Faith."

Faith stared at her, astonished. On one hand, it raised hope, but on the other, it scared the hell out of her.

"Get out."

"Faith…"

"Get out! Now!"

Faith stormed out of the bedroom and Buffy quickly ran after her.

"Wait," she said, taking hold of her arm.

Faith turned, ready to hit Buffy, but she held back.

"Get out, B."

"No. Faith…"

"Don't play with me, B. I finally got my life in order and I won't let you mess it up."

"I'm not playing, Faith, I'm serious. Let me explain. Please."

Faith hesitated for a moment, but then decided she had nothing to lose.

"Talk."

Buffy took a deep breath.

"I knew you were special since we first met. I was never sure whether your innuendoes meant that you just wanted to have sex with me or that you wanted something more. I had too many problems to try and figure it out, especially since Angel came back." She hesitated for a moment. "And I wasn't quite ready to think that I was gay or something. I mean, I'm not, I like men, but you're the one I'm in love with." She frowned. "Does that make sense? Anyway, it took me a while to acknowledge how I felt about you and after Willow got a girlfriend, I realized it didn't really bother me." She sighed. "I love you, Faith. I wish I could've told you that sooner."

Faith stared at her for a few moments and then turned away, trying to hide the tears that were welling up in her eyes. She took a few deep breaths to calm down. She found it ironic. Buffy was finally returning her feelings and she was too scared to respond. Finally, she faced Buffy again.

"How can you?" she asked quietly. "I'm a murderer, remember? I betrayed you."

"It was an accident, Faith," Buffy said. "We all know that." She sighed. "I know our reaction wasn't the best, but we were all afraid. And when you said that you didn't care, we got even more afraid. But I know you've changed, Faith. The old Faith would've played tough, you don't. The old Faith wouldn't have cried over losing that boy. And I've forgiven you for your betrayal. I mean, we all messed up. And I know the Mayor meant a lot to you." She sighed. "Do you think we could start over? Be friends again?"

Faith stared at Buffy for a few moments and then turned away again, breathing heavily to calm down.

"I… I can't," she said quietly.

Buffy stepped closer. She wanted to put her hand on Faith's shoulder, but she changed her mind.

"You deserve to be happy, Faith," she said and Faith sobbed for a few moments before she could calm down again.

"I'm scared," she whispered.

"There's nothing to be scared of, Faith," Buffy said and gently put her hand on Faith's shoulder.

Faith stiffened for a moment, but then relaxed. Buffy moved in front of Faith and raised her chin so that Faith was looking into her eyes.

"I don't know if you love me back, but I at least want to be your friend, Faith."

"But I'm…"

"The most wonderful person I know, Faith," Buffy interrupted her. "I know you screwed up, but I'm not exactly a saint either." She caressed her and Faith flinched a bit, surprised. "Give yourself a chance, Faith."

Faith took a deep breath and gulped. Here was the perfect opportunity to tell Buffy how she felt about her. And who knows, maybe they would get together, but her old insecurities were so strong, fighting a heavy battle with hope. Fuck it.

"I love you too," she blurted and looked away, blushing furiously, which annoyed her.

Buffy was surprised.

"What?" she asked, startled, not sure if she'd heard correctly.

Faith took a deep breath and forced herself to look into Buffy's eyes again.

"I love you too," she said, hoping that her voice wasn't shaking.

"You… You do?" Buffy asked.

Faith nodded, nervous.

"Yes."

Buffy's face became one big smile.

"Oh Faith," she said and hugged her.

Faith was startled for a moment, but then she hugged her back.

They remained like that for a while, neither wanting to break the magic moment. Finally, Buffy let go of Faith. Faith noticed that and she let go of Buffy too. They stared at one another for a few moments and then Buffy smiled. Faith slowly smiled back. Buffy took Faith's hand and gently squeezed it.

"I can't believe how nervous I am," she said.

"You're nervous?" Faith asked, surprised.

"Yeah," Buffy said, blushing a bit. "It's been a while since I've been together with anyone." She caressed Faith with her free hand. "I'm so lucky."

Faith thought for a moment.

"When do you have to leave?"

Buffy's face became serious.

"Not for a week. And I can stay longer. I mean, we have so much to talk about. I mean, I don't know if you're ready to talk about that past, but I'd like to know more about what you've been doing after you left Sunnydale."

Faith nodded.

"Okay." She hesitated for a moment. "Where are you staying?"

"In a hotel downtown."

Faith gulped, hesitating again.

"You… You could stay with me," she then offered nervously.

Buffy smiled.

"Really? You don't mind?"

Faith shook her head.

"No."

"Okay, I'd love to. But we'll have to go get my stuff later."

Faith nodded.

"Okay." She hesitated again. "Em, we could, em, share the… the bed," she then offered, blushing.

Buffy blushed as well.

"You sure?"

Faith nodded again.

"Yes."

Buffy smiled.

"Okay. I mean, I want to take this slow."

"Me too."

"Okay then."

"I'll… I'll just go freshen up."

Buffy nodded.

"Okay. And I'll call Angel and tell him that everything's okay."

"Angel?"

Buffy nodded.

"Yes. I'll tell you all about him later. He's kinda worried about you."

"He is?" Faith asked, surprised.

"Yes."

Faith frowned.

"Why? I mean, we weren't exactly friends, considering that I was jealous of him."

Buffy shrugged.

"I don't know. I guess he knows what it's like to be on the dark side."

Faith looked down, sighing. Buffy lifted her chin again.

"You can be proud of what you've achieved, Faith," she said. "I'm proud of you."

Faith stared at Buffy, astonished. Not only did Buffy love her, she was also proud of her? She felt tears welling up. She knew the old Faith would've fought them hard, but the new Faith knew their therapeutic value.

"Thank you," she said in a coarse voice and Buffy smiled.

"You're welcome."

"I'll go freshen up."

"Okay. I'll tell Angel to tell the guys not to call me. I want this week to be just you and me and I don't want any interruptions."

Faith nodded.

"Okay," she said and quickly went to the bathroom, hoping this wasn't just a dream.

Buffy went to the sofa, a goofy smile on her face, to call Angel. She wanted the next week to be perfect and she didn't want any interruptions. She had to make things right between her and Faith, because today was the first day of their lives together and she wanted to make sure that there would be no misunderstandings along the way. At least nothing major. She took a deep breath and called Angel.

The End