Why Do Men...

Think the uterus is a homing device? 

For some reason they can never find their stuff.  They don't even try.  Why?  Because they know that the female of the species has an organ that works like a radar and finds misplaced tools, work shirts, tax information, the remote, keys, bottle openers,  and a host of other items. 

Act stupid? 

This happens when you ask them to do a simple chore, such as laundry.  Now don't forget, this is the same guy who just rebuilt the transmission in his truck without an manual.  It doesn't occur to him that YELLOW blouses should not be loaded with his BLUE jeans.  It only takes one  puke green, formerly yellow shirt for you to ban him from the laundry room. 

Watch football in their sleep?

He's snoring, but if you change the channel to watch that cute Norm Abrams make something useful for HIS WIFE, he suddenly snarls, "I was watching that!"

Buy top of the line lawn equipment?

Who cares that he may only use once every seven years?  If you are gonna purchase a chain saw (and you live in an apartment in NYC) you ought to have the Super Deluxe Magnum XR300 Lumber Lazer Saw.  Simple everyday things used around the house (ie. vacuums, blenders, irons, washers and dryers) "can be picked up at a garage sale or Walmart or hey, why can't you just use the one we have 'til it quits.  Now where's the remote?"
 

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