I always feel a lot of pressure after I lose weight...not only to keep it off, but to keep going. And I realize it's self-imposed, but all my weirdnesses and eating disorders have contributed to the onset of this disease. Emotional acrobatics are part of what got me here. I think failing to recognize them could be terribly hazardous to my health. And here, I figure it's cool to notice, yes, I'm totally freaked out about my weight, just like I was as a teenager and a young adult. I think that's part of why I haven't lost any weight since I had the baby. Mind you, I haven't gained, either, but I haven't lost. However, I have been freaking out.

I talked to my mom yesterday about how hard it's been getting an exercise thing back together. And it's well nigh impossible with a nursing newborn. I really thought I could do without the club, but it's becoming clear to me that as long as I have a class I can go to, it forces the issue with me. And while I thought it would be a good idea to hold an aqua aerobics class at my apartment complex, the pool isn't big enough to comfortably handle it and I don't think my at-home schedule can handle it. I do think that if I have a class to go to, that I will get there and do something for myself. Even if it's only 2-4x a week, it's better than nothing. And any other exercise I squeeze into my hectic life will be just a nice addition to what I'm doing.

I'm getting a big check next month, and I think that's one thing that I'd like to do with it -- buy a club membership and get back into the aqua aerobics.

Exercise is like a big bullet to the heart of diabetes. If I can get enough exercise, I can control my diabetes instead of it controlling me. I could stand that because lately, I feel like I'm in one of those WWF competitions with Stone Cold Diabetes and it's been taking me to the mat and smacking me over the head with a chair.

On the good news front, Genevieve was baptized yesterday. Pauline, Robin and Ken were the godparents and there was a lot of trying not to cry.

The incredible thing to me is that Genny didn't cry when she was baptized, which frequently is what happens. What I was told once is that babies who cry when they are baptized, cry because the devil is being chased out. I guess there is nothing but angel in Genny.

Russell cried. :)

My hope is that when they're teenagers, I'm not jynxing myself.