I mean geesh, I ate the same thing for breakfast I had yesterday morning and had high sugars this morning, but not yesterday. I'm so upset about it. I know it's stupid because most people worry about sugars at 180 or something, but this is high for me. I haven't had a full day of normal sugars for a week and a half. And it's freaking me out.

I don't want another c-section. I know it's a perfectly okay way to have a baby come into the world, but I take so damned long to heal, I just really really want a natural birth, so I can have a quicker recovery. I also want to go to my due date.

I asked the nurse if she thought the doctor might contemplate giving me earlier disability, so that I can exercise after each meal to help me better manage things. She said I should definitely ask and that it was a viable option. But she also said, my sugars aren't bad as of yet, but I really don't want to wait until they are bad. She tried to be comforting about that I've been doing so well that I shouldn't worry and all that.

Remember what I said about telling me not to worry? So now I'm worrying about worrying too much. I feel like such a twit.

I think I look like white trash Shamu

And I was thinking about sex when pregnant...If the euphemism "making the beast with two backs" is applicable, then does that mean sex with a pregnant woman is making the beast with two humpbacks? I don't know. Mike doesn't get much sex anyhow these days, poor horny creature. He says that Rosie Palm and her 5 sisters are doing him fine, but I feel like a big meanie hold out for not being interested, even if it is for a yeast infection. Because he does, I can usually overlook the big as a cow thing, but the other is pretty limiting.

I am going to go the fabric store and see what I can find for a pattern and fabric I can put together for a wedding dress. I have all this great lace, white satin and stuff, but I don't know if I want to make a maternity wedding gown. I'd rather make an empire waist dress that can double for a wedding gown. I checked out some of the stuff at JC Penney outlet, but the only thing they had looked like I should be slathered in Ben-Gay, teetering around in my walker and smacking my dentures together. Even if I used a calico, I could make it pretty and springy and feel lovely and bridelike. And a couple weeks later, I could wear it for easter.

Oh, boy did I make out at the fabric store. For $22 I got a pattern, notions and a beautiful sheer white taffeta with big blue flowers that I can put over the white satin I have.

It's Butterick and it's an easy pattern, so I should be able to work up a rough draft of the dress this weekend and get the fit right.

Mike keeps telling me how pretty I am. I keep joking around and telling myself it's the new haircut and he's a horny thing. But when I look in his eyes and see how soft and warm they are, I know he's not seeing me on the outside alone and he is thrilled that I'm pregnant with our baby.