Well, in short, she questioned my ability to be a mother, she was up in arms because whether or not my daughter is born in wedlock was not an issue to me and she accused me of robbing taxpayers because I was willing to consider filing bankruptcy on my student loans, rather than saddle my husband with them.

First, I've never had anyone question my ability to be a mother, except me. When I look at how my son is doing, and where he's come from, I can see that I've had a positive influence in his life and I know that I've busted my can to care for him. The fact that he's sweet and well-mannered is not a function of bad parenting.

Secondly, why would my marital status when I have my child be of importance to anyone but me and Mike? It made me wonder what kinds of inferences she drew in front of Russell. He was born "out of wedlock". Does that mean she looked down her nose at both he and me because of my marital status when he was born? Has she ever done or said things in front of him to make him think he was less than because his mom wasn't married when she gave birth to him? If she felt that strongly about it, I don't care how professional she is, I doubt she could hide her feelings about it from Russell for 3.5 years. She didn't see me enough to get into a discussion about it, but I wonder what kinds of things she did with the other kids and the kinds of inferences she drew in front of him. Russell's not a stupid kid. It makes me wonder if some of him acting out was a result of things she said or did in front of him because while he acted out at school and home, he never did at her house, she reported. I keep wondering, what the hell did she do to him?

Thirdly, everyone I've shown the letter to has said without provocation or explanation from me things along the lines of,"What a psychobitch!" My self esteem is still kind of shot, but after hearing a rousing chorus of that, I feel a lot less hurt.

Yesterday, I talked with Russell about it. I told him that Katie had written a letter saying mean things to Mommy that weren't true, including that Katie thought I was a bad mommy. Russell said,"But you're not a bad mommy. You're the best mommy!" (Like he'd say anything else?) I told him that rather than find out if the things she thought were true, Katie acted as if they were and said mean and horrible things, which assumed the worst rather than the best of me. Russell asked,"Katie hurt your feelings?" I said, "Yeah, she did. Because I trusted her and then found out I should not have trusted her." He said decidedly,"I don't think I like Katie right now." I said,"Well, we won't be having anything to do with her or her family ever again." He said, "Good!"

Katie gave him a desk and chair on long-term loan for his writing and I told him that it might be a good idea to return it to her. He said,"I don't want to give it back, Mom. She hurt you. It's mine." We can't really afford to do something other than what he has, so for now, we'll keep it. She didn't mention it and I won't be talking to her or reading any more mail that may come my way from her, so I doubt she expects it back. I may talk to my parents about whether or not we could look into some kind of adjustable desk and chair for him when they come out and explain the circumstances, so I don't have to have that stuff in my house. They might be willing to help out on that.

I was hurt. I think anyone would have been, but this woman demonstrated herself to be very very out there in the right-wing of looniness. I'm glad I found this out about her now, however, before I left Genevieve under her care. It makes me worry about the fallout with Russell, but as Mike said,"Wouldn't you say he's a happy well-adjusted kid, honey?" And actually, I would say that.

In addition, I talked to Sherry, who watched Russell when he was a baby and she has space to take Genevieve. Geography-wise, Katie was closer, but attitude-wise, Sherry rules! When I told her about Katie's opinion about children born out of wedlock, Sherry laughed out loud and said it was about the most bizarre thing she'd ever heard! Of course, Sherry has a couple of grandkids, and not all her kids are married, so to her it's not a big deal.

I'll know all the details about the when and where of it later, but it's a start. Worst case scenario: Pauline would watch Genevieve half-time in the summer and Sherry would take her in the fall when I go back full-time.

On other fronts, Russell asked Mike to raise up his training wheels and is riding around without them, though I doubt he realizes he is riding off the training wheels. He's still learning to turn, but it's so awesome to see him doing so well at it. He gets nervous and falls sometimes, but generally seems to be getting the hang of it. He said this morning that he thought he might have twisted his ankel in one of his falls yesterday, but it wasn't swollen, so we told him to just take it easy and not do stuff that hurt.