Actually, I was, too. I know he's hoping I'll tell him to get on the ball, but damn, if I don't have enough things to deal with. I figure he's adult enough to figure out his own homework schedule, but I also know, he's not into it right now. He's really into being a Daddy and he's got the "it's-rained-for-weeks-shit-it's-winter" blues.

All it's done here is rain. And the only time it seems to be nice is a few hours between storm fronts. It's unbelievable.

In some ways, I was thankful Russell was sick on the weekend, because at least then he wasn't bouncing off walls. Of course the day he was the sickest was the one sunny day we've had in weeks, but never fear, it did start to rain later.

Bear's still pretty sick. He's worked himself into the profusely snotty nose thing. I got him some decongestant and made him put the brand new dinner napkin Mike had given him for a snot rag in the laundry and muttered something evil and disparaging about Mike giving him my brand new dinner napkin, which Russell saw fit to tell Mike when Mike came out of his programming cave to eat dinner.

I made Russell read to me, but do you have any idea how hard it is for a speech delayed kid to pronounce things correctly when he's missing his top front teeth? It's truly sad and pitiful. He can't even eat apples unless they're sliced and there's no sign of new teeth yet.

I talked to this woman yesterday in my apartment complex...the one we're going to have a pity baby shower for and she said she's 90% effaced and 1-2 cm dilated and she's not due til 3/26. I was sooooo jealous.

It's not that I want to pop out Genevieve right now, but rather the idea that this other woman is so close to having her baby in her arms just made me feel so envious. Aside from the pains and discomforts of late pregnancy, the hardest part of this trimester is waiting to see this wonderful kid you've worked so hard to get to know over 9 months.

Oh, and the insurance company finally called me. I do not have to pay a $500 deductible on either my car or the rental car because neither of them were my fault-- Yippee! They are calling the hit and run driver to find out if she has insurance today.

On the wage garnishment thing, it takes 20 days for them to return the check to me, so it'll be here in time for the baby. Kind of a good news, bad news kind of thing.

Ok, and now I get to what I'm avoiding and what was bugging me last night.

Pauline's 12.5 year old daughter is a total sweetheart, but she's hitting that pre-teen thing. She wants to date boys, wear make-up and all that kind of stuff because her friends are doing it. She was lobbying it with me. And she said she's nervous about talking about it with Pauline because Pauline is so against both of those things until she's a little older.

I finally told her something I shouldn't have. As soon as it left my mouth, I regretted it.

"Do you know why your Mom is so protective of you?"
"No, but it's driving me crazy."
"When she was about your age, her brother abused her. When she told her parents about it, they accused her of lying and ignored it. When it kept getting worse, she finally told a school counselor and the counselor took her from her family who then promptly disowned her."
Stunned silence.
"She wants to protect you, so that something like that never ever happens to you. She wants you to have better." Stunned silence.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you that. That's a big secret, you aren't supposed to know about, but that's why she does what she does. She wants you to have better than she did, to be able to enjoy being a young woman because she loves you so much."

I talked with her more about how beautiful she is and how make-up isn't the begin-all and end-all of being a woman, nor is dating guys. I told her in some ways, it'll be nice for her to watch her friends, because then she can see what she does and doesn't like and avoid making some of the same mistakes.