this is not a love poem


stilted conversation
early in the a.m.
i awaken to the butterflies
in my stomach
and a soulful prayer
that this time
i'll get through to you
this time--

fear
about what you'll say
or not say
your thoughts
are a mystery waiting
to be unraveled--

the muted emotions
hang over us;
ready to crash down on us
anytime
exploding in our faces
and then it'll be out there--

Our naked emotions
revealed to the world.

The world's heart stops beating
as the butterflies
tiptoe around the silence
as i reach for the perfect words
that mean something
to you
anything that moves you
from this icicle of emotion
you're trapped in.
i'll wait till the right time
to love you--

someday you will want me;
all I have are wishing-star memories
and stilted nervous conversation
in the morning
unspoken thoughts burn in our minds
simmer through the silence
and nowhere to go
to get away from it all
except to each other.

But instead
you tossed me out of your life,
leaving only a memory--

Those who can't see the truth are the ones
who have lost their vision.


©2000 Erin D. Conroy. All rights reserved.


Author notes: This poem is about the truth. Learning the truth, believing that something is true, the truth you just can't let yourself believe. I had a situation where I believed one thing, someone close to me believed something totally different, and, when all was said and done, there was yet a bigger truth staring us both in the face. I choose to accept it -- he did not. This poem is about being blind to that which stares us in the face.

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