The Opera of Circumstance


If I could erase the blackboard that is my mind
If I could erase your sweet candy words
& your love-whispers
if I could erase the connection
I felt
when I looked into your eyes:
that's when the dawn-light shone down on me
and brushed away the darkness.

Happiness was finding you,
the one whose soul is twin to mine,
we're two halves of the same circle,
always connected,
one heartbeat echoing the other,
like a synchronized orchestra,
in love-rhythms we played;
in love-rhythms we died--
prematurely, never missing a beat,
to the opera of circumstance.

Now that our spring-love has ended
and a winter of death is here,
I want to erase it all:
erase my feelings;
wipe them clean,
erase dream visions of you,
sever them from my mind;
erase our passion-music;
let every love-note disappear into night.

My heart is as cold as the frost of winter
an icy wind of memories surrounds me;
enveloping me in its blanket devoid
of feeling and warmth--
I still see you in shadows.
In the blizzard-winds, somewhere
I hear you whisper my name.

And I am afraid--
to feel, to love, to live again,
to remember
you

to be as cold as death itself
to be as cold as the winter--
04.08.00


©2000 Erin D. Conroy
notes
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