American Pie This is a list of things NOT to say when dealing with someone who is depressed. I speak from experience, believe me, I have suffered through some very serious depressions. So please, if you have a friend or loved one who is suffering from depression, take a look at this list. It might help make it easier for everyone involved. Don't say any of the following! 1) Can't you just get control of yourself and shake yourself out of it? If I, or anyone else with depression, could just 'get control of myself and shake myself out of it', I would do it in a minute, believe me. It's not fun being depressed, not at all. Depression saps your strength and sometimes your will to live. It changes your whole view on life. The whole point about depression is that you can't 'just get control'. If you could, you wouldn't be depressed. 2) I've been sad too and I got over it. Why can't you? To this I say: Sadness is not depression. Sadness is a normal emotion that everyone feels, just like anger and happiness. Depression is something totally different. Depression is an illness which is usually caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. I would also say that anyone who has never experienced true depression should never judge someone who has because unless they are a doctor or psychologist then they really know nothing about it. 3) You don't need medication. You should be able to handle life without it, everyone else does. Are you weak? Don't ever try to convince someone to stop taking their medication. People who are on medication are taking it for a reason, most likely to help straighten out the aforementioned chemical imbalance. It is dangerous for a person to stop taking their medication for many reasons. One is that stopping a medication abruptly can cause serious physical side effects, some as bad as seizures. Secondly the person may become suicidal, psychotic, or out of control without their medication. You wouldn't tell a diabetic to stop taking their insulin would you? And furthermore, needing a medication is not in any way a sign of weakness. Most people take aspirin or something comparable when they have a headache. Does that mean they are weak?! 4) I went through a lot of difficult times in my life and I never got depressed. Why can't you deal with it? I would say to that person, "Well, I'm glad for you that you have never experienced depression, as it is a terrible thing to go through." However, although difficult situations in life such as the death of a loved one or the loss of a job can certainly trigger a depression, that is not always the case. Depression, again (for those of you who didn't hear me before), is a chemical imbalance, and does not always need to be triggered by anything in particular. 5) You shouldn't need to take 'happy' pills to get through life like a 'normal' person. Antidepressants are NOT HAPPY PILLS. You don't just take one and feel happy. Most antidepressants take anywhere from 1 - 3 months to take effect. They do not make you "happy", they attempt to equalize the chemicals in your brain that are out of balance and bring you to a somewhat "normal" level. Their purpose is not to make one happy, but to make one feel better and to enable one to live a more "normal" life. 6) People who say they are depressed are just lazy and don't want to get better. 7) People use depression as an excuse not to do things or as an excuse for having done something wrong. As for number 6 and number 7, these are obviously comments from very ignorant and cruel people. As for laziness, depressed people are not lazy. Depression can make a person feel extremely fatigued and literally sap the strength out of them. As for not wanting to get better, that statement is absolutely ridiculous. Obviously the people who say that have not experienced depression. It is extremely painful and debilitating. Of course people with depression want to feel better. Doesn't every one want to feel better when they are sick? And while I'm not saying that people don't make excuses for things, it is unfair to say that depressed people are just making excuses for themselves. Depression can make it very difficult for people to live "life as usual". 8) The whole thing is just in your head! (One of my personal favorites!) No kidding. Of course it's in my head, it's in my brain. I know, the implication is that it is just in my mind, that it is not a real physical problem. Well, there is a lot of literature out there that says it is a real physical problem. People who think that it's not need to educate themselves. 9) Can't you just force yourself to do things? 10) All you really need to do is ................(Whatever that particular person thinks the grand and simple answer is.) Can't you just force yourself? Well there is a simple answer to that question. If I could, I would! And as to the last statement, don't try to give advice about something unless you know what you're talking about. If you've read up on it and spoken to doctors or others who are afflicted, then it is ok to gently offer your opinion to someone. But try to understand that depressed people have probably tried many things on their road to recovery and it is never simple. BACK TO THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD
2) I've been sad too and I got over it. Why can't you? To this I say: Sadness is not depression. Sadness is a normal emotion that everyone feels, just like anger and happiness. Depression is something totally different. Depression is an illness which is usually caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. I would also say that anyone who has never experienced true depression should never judge someone who has because unless they are a doctor or psychologist then they really know nothing about it.
3) You don't need medication. You should be able to handle life without it, everyone else does. Are you weak? Don't ever try to convince someone to stop taking their medication. People who are on medication are taking it for a reason, most likely to help straighten out the aforementioned chemical imbalance. It is dangerous for a person to stop taking their medication for many reasons. One is that stopping a medication abruptly can cause serious physical side effects, some as bad as seizures. Secondly the person may become suicidal, psychotic, or out of control without their medication. You wouldn't tell a diabetic to stop taking their insulin would you? And furthermore, needing a medication is not in any way a sign of weakness. Most people take aspirin or something comparable when they have a headache. Does that mean they are weak?!
4) I went through a lot of difficult times in my life and I never got depressed. Why can't you deal with it? I would say to that person, "Well, I'm glad for you that you have never experienced depression, as it is a terrible thing to go through." However, although difficult situations in life such as the death of a loved one or the loss of a job can certainly trigger a depression, that is not always the case. Depression, again (for those of you who didn't hear me before), is a chemical imbalance, and does not always need to be triggered by anything in particular.
5) You shouldn't need to take 'happy' pills to get through life like a 'normal' person. Antidepressants are NOT HAPPY PILLS. You don't just take one and feel happy. Most antidepressants take anywhere from 1 - 3 months to take effect. They do not make you "happy", they attempt to equalize the chemicals in your brain that are out of balance and bring you to a somewhat "normal" level. Their purpose is not to make one happy, but to make one feel better and to enable one to live a more "normal" life.
6) People who say they are depressed are just lazy and don't want to get better.
7) People use depression as an excuse not to do things or as an excuse for having done something wrong.
As for number 6 and number 7, these are obviously comments from very ignorant and cruel people. As for laziness, depressed people are not lazy. Depression can make a person feel extremely fatigued and literally sap the strength out of them. As for not wanting to get better, that statement is absolutely ridiculous. Obviously the people who say that have not experienced depression. It is extremely painful and debilitating. Of course people with depression want to feel better. Doesn't every one want to feel better when they are sick? And while I'm not saying that people don't make excuses for things, it is unfair to say that depressed people are just making excuses for themselves. Depression can make it very difficult for people to live "life as usual".
8) The whole thing is just in your head! (One of my personal favorites!) No kidding. Of course it's in my head, it's in my brain. I know, the implication is that it is just in my mind, that it is not a real physical problem. Well, there is a lot of literature out there that says it is a real physical problem. People who think that it's not need to educate themselves.
9) Can't you just force yourself to do things?
10) All you really need to do is ................(Whatever that particular person thinks the grand and simple answer is.) Can't you just force yourself? Well there is a simple answer to that question. If I could, I would! And as to the last statement, don't try to give advice about something unless you know what you're talking about. If you've read up on it and spoken to doctors or others who are afflicted, then it is ok to gently offer your opinion to someone. But try to understand that depressed people have probably tried many things on their road to recovery and it is never simple. BACK TO THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD
