to the outer self
today,do I have no mind?
or do I have no insprations?
I REMEMBER
I remember that little girl
cryinging on her bed
no one came
noe one cared
no one said a word
of the pain I was in
they never did
It was swept under
ourselves
hide it
don't talk about it
don't deal with it
well, damn you
did you ever think
someday
I would finally feel
the grief
of your not being
there when I needed
you the most
The little girl is
still crying on her bed...
will she ever get up?
Somewhere between happy and sad
I catch myself crying
over it all
I have too much stress and nowhere
to release it out
I am tired
tired of all the moodiness
and head spinning
racing thoughts
with nowhere to go
with them
So I sit in a darkened room
surrounded by candles
crying, then not, all over again
Please don't blow out the candles
Fear
you can't see it
you can't touch it
you can't taste it
you can't hear it
but it is there
all around me
it grows in my stomach
it crawls on my back
when I'm not looking
it keeps me
suspended in time
afraid to move
or the fear will
surround me
I need to run
I need to walk away
very slowly
and then maybe the fear
will leave me alone
don't fear the spider
cause maybe it's just
a lady bug...
you are asking me
to stand in front of myself,
a moving train
and slow down
with only one hand...
Where Did You Go?
I feel my insides crawling up into
my stomach
like it wants to escape
but has no place to go
but out my mouth and eyes
the sadness
The water...the salt on my cheek
I'm crying for the me who's gone
She left so long ago
trying to reach her is too hard
she is not there anymore
she left with the pain of
yesterday and tomorrow
and she won't be coming back
On the edge
of
nothingness
I expell my thoughts
to no one
my head inside
feels as though
it is
growing
and I can't
stop it
so, the tears
explode
streaming
with no reason
voice of rage
screaming
with no reason
sadness reigns
splattered
with no reason
inner beauty
happiness
with no reason
so I circle myself
within no boundry
rapidily facing the
four emotions of me...
